Wedding invite reciprocation...an eye for an eye

Why in the world are you not invited...I don't understand?

Maybe they aren't aware of proper etiquette? I'd have FH ask.

If they are half decent friends, maybe have your FH ask why you weren't invited? Maybe they have a good reason (ie money) or maybe it was just an oversight?

Even if they didn't invite you, think of how you want to feel on your day... will you see the lone friend, and remember why you didn't invite his wife and feel bad? Be a bigger person and invite both either way

I had a similar situation and I asked my mom and she said FH definitely should have been invited. It wound up working out but you should definitely be invited! I would ask FH to ask the friends about it- I'm sure it was an oversight.

I would definitely have FH ask. Perhaps it was an accidental omission. If not, he should decline but I agree with everyone else and think you should be the bigger person. You are not wrong to feel jilted though especially since you all have hung out!

I would definitely get your FH to clarify if you're invited or not. It may just have been an oversight in addressing the invitations. If they really didn't invite you, that was pretty rude of them. But like Sarah said, be the bigger person. Invite them as a couple, because its the right thing to do. Or, don't invite them at all (given the situation, I don't think that'd be unreasonable). But don't exclude your friend's wife just to be spiteful, that doesn't make anyone feel better.

I would have FH call and confirm. If they only intended to invite him, don't make a big fuss about it. Definitely send them both an invitation.

Sorry, I'm no help...just following because I have a similar situation. (A relative - distant cousin- invited me to her wedding last year minus FH, but invited my brother's boyfriend because "we consider him family." Wtf?) So now I kind of don't want to invite that couple to our wedding, but I did attend theirs as a guest. Sooo...I'm keeping my eye on this thread.

I think your FH should call and ask - I don't understand why you wouldn't be invited as well.

Yes, you should have been invited, but not worth going tit for tat. Either invite them both or neither of them. As others suggested, it would be worth having FH ask about it as they do know you are getting married soon..... Maybe they think you are too hot for their wedding....

Thanks for the advice! Honestly not mad and we are sending out a STD to them this week for our wedding We just found it odd and FH is not a confrontational person. I think I will have him ask our friend politely before declining the invite formally. It'd be a lot of effort for FH to fly out alone and rent a car and hotel room for himself. Since it's far away, we were hoping we could make a mini trip/vacation going to their wedding and maybe sticking around a few more days while we're there.

Maybe they are using a very old wedding planning book. the ones that said you didn't have to invite someone unless they were actually married.

maybe the person in charge of their guest list doesn't approve of a unmarried couple living together, who knows.

unless you speak to them you aren't going to get a answer to it.

if you don't want to clear this up, I guess just send a gift, have your groom not attend then don't invite them.

are you sure you're not invited? they may be sending you a separate invitation.

Wow! Yeah, agreed with everyone else have FH call and ask why you were left out of the invite, because it really could have been an honest mistake! And if they still say you're not invited, then FH should decline the invite, and you guys should just send them an invite for the two of them.

I'm with the ladies on this one, maybe she hasn't realized, I'd check that out with FH.

That's really strange. I would think that if you have hung out with them etc, maybe she doesn't realize you were serious couple?? Here are my suggestions

1- Be the person everyone hates and have FH reach out to him and see if it was a mistake if you are also invited with him or if it really is just him (hey mistakes happen maybe your rsvp card got filled out and put in the wrong envelope, etc)

2- If it is just FH then decline to go if he doesn't want to go

3- I would still invite the couple to yours, if that's what you want to do, chances are if FH is only invited to theirs and he doesn't go, they may not come to yours anyways.

But I would honestly reach out and just have FH ask his friend. Not necessarily saying 'oh can I bring someone' but rather reaching out and clarifying whether it was just him or if it was a mistake.

I got really excited thinking this post was an epic revenge story for a second.

It's weird. And honestly I don't think it's an oversight. They could be making what they think are acceptable sacrifices to meet budget and maybe they're assuming your FH wouldn't go without you (out of state no less) thus they don't have to worry about him at all.

Strange. I would call and ask. It could be a mistake, I pray I don't do this to anyone but if I did and didn't realize it I would hope they would call me to confirm instead of not showing up or declining. Especially if you guys are good friends.

GL! Welcome to WW.

That's weird. and if it isn't an oversight, i would find that pretty rude. i think something like that is definitely worth a call and question. maybe it WAS really an oversight, but i highly doubt it. it sounds like they are very aware of y'all's situation. i definitely would call instead of just sending back and RSVP adding yourself, or worse yet, just showing up at the wedding. ... honestly, if it wasn't an oversight and they really didn't invite you, i wouldn't expect your FH to go without you. if he does, boo on him. lol!

good luck. :/ sorry.

and welcome!

ETA: i would definitely have FH call, not you. also, what everyone else has been saying... be the bigger person. either invite them as a couple or not at all. (if you were intentionally left off the invite, i wouldn't invite them at all. but that's just me. lol. that'd be my way of being spiteful. unless y'all are really good friends and you'd be sad to lose them as friends or hang out buddies. but it sounds like if you are, it might not be mutual. :/ idk though. def have FH call.)

I am with everyone else on having FH call and clarify why you weren't invited. I don't think there is ever a good reason to excludes someone's significant other. If it's a money thing than don't invite either of you but to invite one and not the other that is very rude. Depending on the reasoning would determine if I invited them to my wedding. What if they secretly don't like you (praying this is not the case) but why would you want someone at your wedding who doesn't like you or isn't genuinely happy for the two of you? Ultimately it's your decision on what you do. I pray it was just an oversight.

Wow. If it isn't an oversight then it's awfully rude, and I wouldn't be inviting them if it were me. I had a similar situation where FH and I were living together and they only invited me. I declined and they aren't invited to our wedding.