Wedding invitations with divorced parents

My parents were still reeling from their contentious divorce when I wed. My husband’s family could not have cared less so we wrote “Together with their parents...” Your parents are still your parents but that way you don’t need the messiness of your fathers new wife added into it. You can do something else to honor your dad that won’t make your mother uncomfortable. I gifted my dad a tie that had a cute patch with something sweet embroidered on it.

View Quoted Comment We used the same wording on our invitations. My parents are divorced and this was the easiest option without getting too complicated.

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea! Did both sides pay for the wedding? I had read that you only put together with their families if both sides paid? I’m not sure of all the etiquette haha

We did together with their families.

I think you would have way too many names on the card if you did that and would suggest "together with their parents" instead.

View Quoted Comment We paid for our wedding but wanted to do something for our parents

I wanted to do "Together with their parents..." but I knew that wasn't going to go over well, so we did this:

It said (but actually used their names):

"Bride's dad and Stepmom

Bride's mom

Groom's dad and mom"

This was really the only way I could think to do it without offending anyone but some parties were still upset by it.

View Quoted Comment Did both sides help pay? I always heard you only include the family that pays but I wasn’t sure?

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My nephew and his fiance just sent out invites and it reads: "Please join us for the wedding of John Johnson and Jill Jillson.......

Her parents are divorced and both are remarried, my sister (mom of nephew) was divorced from his dad a looooong time ago, never has remarried and to top it off, his dad passed away a long time ago!

Hilary, please don't let yourself get tied in a knot that people will read, take a picture with their phone to remember the details and will probably put into recycling.

And don't let your invite read like the white pages, lol!!!

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Why were people still upset by it?

View Quoted Comment Thank you! This is very helpful. My mom was fine with it but my dad was a little hurt because he put so much in financially and wanted his name included and recognized. To me, it shouldn’t seem to matter but I want everyone to be happy. Unfortunately that won’t happen

We are doing together with out families.
We want to recognize our families-but my dad passed away, and my fh parents are divorced with their own significant others who arent married.
Together with their families just seems easier

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WIth wedding planning, someone will always be upset. I am a two time bride, so I know. We ALL know, that is why we are here, lol. Please don't waste one more minute trying to make everyone happy, that won't happen. It can't. Your dad can be recognized at the reception if you make a short toast to thank everyone for their love and support, and it could go like this: "And I want to especially thank my dad, for hosting this event for everyone!" Or something like that.

PS - my dad passed when I was 20 so I am little jealous that you have this issue, lol!!!

This is what we did for our invitations. FH comes from a blended family with different last names and we didn't want to offend anyone.

This is something I also struggled with, and I ended up putting "together with their families". I know it's hard to please everyone when you have divorced parents! Focus on what's most important - getting the invites out there. ---I will note that I am not recognizing my dad's wife as one of my parents in any way for the wedding. If I had put names on the invitations I would have left hers out even though she's my dad's wife and a great woman and helps me a lot.

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My mom was upset about being listed below my stepmom and didn't feel like they stepmom should have been on there at all even though my dad and stepmom hosted our reception. My mom would have loved to host the reception, but it wasn't financially feasible for her. She and my grandpa purchased my wedding dress for me and I was so grateful for that, but she felt like she didn't do "enough" which made me really sad because it was never about money. Wedding planning in general (and particularly the day of the wedding) was difficult for her due to their strained relationship and some unresolved feelings that have been around for the past 14 years.

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Same here! I didn't do "Together with their families..." because I knew my dad would be bummed about it even if he didn't say anything. I wanted to honor everyone's contributions, so that was how I landed at the format we ended up doing. My response to Florida Marlins explains it a bit more, but you're right, it is difficult to make everyone happy, especially in divorced families. I hope the rest of planning going smoothly for you!

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That must have been rough for your mom but your dad's wife gets to be listed - she is his wife. I am so sorry about all of it. I am no longer married to my kid's dad and let me tell you: You gotta love your kids more than you hate your ex. I don't hate my ex, btw, I want him to move to Greenland, bit no hating. We hosted both our kids Open Houses and it was cool. (I did most of the work - big shocker.) My then fiance was there, too. I am like, life is too short to be weird about stuff.

I have a friend who is divorced from her son's dad and he refused to stand in a picture with her at their son's Open House and at his HS graduation!!! I mean, REALLY?????

My parents are divorced as well have been for 20 years since both mom and dad are remarried I’m more closer with my mom and step dad but I opted to not have any parents names listed as it would be to much nor did I want confusion. As well my bio dad can be jealous of my step dad so I don’t want to cause drama

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Oh I totally get this. Our wedding definitely was a bit messy because of this. Fortunately the only people that noticed were my bridesmaids/cousin/best friend's family who managed the situation(s) and the people involved (immediate family). I have no full family photos from my wedding for this reason as well. I also have no photos of my sister with my dad/stepmom and I (Honestly picture taking was such a blur that I didn't realize at the time we didn't get this photo so I'm not sure who is actually responsible for this, maybe me, I'm not sure). She actually tried to get out of the family portrait with my dad's side but I went a bit bridezilla on her in front of everyone so she complied lol. It was annoying that people couldn't suck it up for my wedding day. My bachelor's graduation was really awkward and un-fun. My master's was better, but one parent chose not to go to my graduation party (came to the actual graduation) avoid the drama that would surely occur if they did come. It was upsetting, but I have learned that it is what it is. They are adults, I am an adult, and we all get to choose for ourselves how we handle things. I'm not responsible for their actions.