So it's been a long painful road to get where we are concerning our wedding. Both my fiance and I are from big families (4+ siblings on each side). We had originally planned a massive, indoor, "cozy" wedding with all the bells and whistles. We were fortunate that when Covid-19 made us have to scrap that plan we got almost all of our money back. I hated planning the original wedding and to this day just want to elope instead now that we can't have the wedding we spent years planning. My fiance is now the one who really wants some sort of party/ ceremony on the originally scheduled date. He does not want to elope. He feels that it would make the wedding day seem too much like any other day. We also know if we reschedule that I'll just have all of the pushy nonsense we had with the first run at wedding planning and I can't take it anymore. It was weeks of arguing with every member of both families to make a new guest list that was less than the 100 people we had originally invited.
Now we have twenty people (none of our friends only "immediate" family) including us having a backyard wedding at this parent's place. My issue is I have anxiety disorder and am terrified that no matter what we do someone is going to catch Covid-19 because of the wedding. I get that everyone is adults but they are all taking unnecessary risks with their own health because of the wedding (ex: going to salons, dining in at restaurants, meeting up with people that were cut from the guest list, renting hotel rooms and over filling them, and using public pools, shopping excessively at malls, etc.). I see what they are doing and it makes me just want to cry from stress. I'm just so terrified and exhausted from arguing with them over every little safety measure I try to put in place.
The issue right now is my mom in her excitement (which has been getting us in trouble for the whole process) rented a hotel room for my "bachelorette party" (My bridal shower was also canceled by Covid several months prior) and keeps asking me what I want to do that night. She rented it without even asking what amenities are still offered or if I would want to go to a hotel. I never wanted a bachelorette party. I don't want to go to the hotel let alone a night on the town right now as well as the guest list for this party is all just my aunts and my sister and her wife who I dislike. I just feel panicked and disrespected. She had asked me last week what I wanted to do to pamper me and I told her I wanted her and my grandmother only to order a nice breakfast and coffee to one of our houses the morning of. That request is now ignored and replaced with 6+ old ladies in a tiny hotel room with nothing to do. I'm so upset. I feel like I can't even talk with them because they just make me more and more anxious about Covid the closer to the day it gets. They say its all about me but this wedding was never anything like what I wanted.
