Wedding Guest Related: Black Tie Optional

Black tie OR black tie option = floor length gown, period, for me.

Maybe a cocktail dress if its super detailed and intricate and sparkly and fancy otherwise.

At the black tie optional wedding I went to last November, almost all the women were in cocktail dresses. I wore a silk cocktail dress and fancy jewelry.

I think the only women who were in floor-length gowns were related to the couple.

@m really?? I was not getting that sense from etiquette articles. Obviously I'd rather be a little over than under dressed.

Fancy cocktail dress at minimum.

ETA: picture! Here I am with two friends (toward the end of the night, so we're all a little tipsy!)

This was one of the fanciest events I've ever been to, and all three of us were totally appropriately dressed, compared to other guests. I think you can definitely do cocktail length as long as shoes/jewelry/etc are on the fancy side.

Thanks @Bookcase that helps. Definitely being silk makes them a little fancier as well.

There is just so much variation! Like even "fancy cocktail dress" could mean different things to different people.

Well, I don't agree with "black tie optional" because they're saying it's black tie, but they don't want to put people out. I think the above looks are way way way too casual for a black tie optional event, frankly, but that's just me.

Okay, good to know m. Knowing this couple and the venue I think you're right about the optional thing.

I wore a cocktail length dress to a black-tie optional wedding in May. But it was a fancy cocktail dress and I wore fancy shoes and jewelry. FH wore a 3 piece suit. I think you can do a cocktail dress but you need to make it fancier than a cocktail dress you'd wear to other weddings.

I've been to one black tie event, and I was a tween and my mother made sure we all had long dresses. I would definitely think anything with the words black tie associated with it would mean long dress. And I guess the reason I think that way was because I used to work for this family who attends black tie affairs all the time and she'd never walked out the door in a cocktail dress. Even if it was Dior.

Edit: typo

I would wear a full length gown or a really fancy cocktail dress. For guys, a suit, vest, tie.

Our wedding was black tie optional and I had the girls in vintage tea-length dresses (because they were really different in height so it just worked better). most people ignored it though and just wore what they normally wear to weddings, so maybe it doesn't matter that much.

The above does look too casual. I'm not a fan of dress codes at all, (and I've turned down invites that required me to wear stuff I don't have.....)

I'd say a long dress, a short sparkly dress, lots of jewelry. I love classic black tuxes on guys, but a nice dark suit would work too.

Based on this range of answers it seems I am not the only one who is confused.

However, I will try and err on the side of fancy.

Staci, definitely use Rent the Runway!

Rent the Runway makes me nervous! Can I make it work for an out of town wedding?

When are you leaving and when is the event? You will have an extra day on the rental because of the holiday probably. I did one last Labor Day.

Leaving Friday, the event is Sunday. Returning home on Monday.

Typical rentals are 4 days. You will get it Thursday, then you can drop in in a UPS drop box (anywhere) Sunday or Monday. It wouldn't matter because it wouldn't be picked up until Tuesday due to Monday's holiday.

I've worn fancier cocktail dresses for black tie optional weddings and felt underdressed. The time I did not feel underdressed I wore fancier jewelry, my dress was a little longer, and I think my hair was a little more glamorous. I'd go for a long dress. I agree that RTR would work with Thursday delivery.

Black tie optional to me means that the hosts want everyone in tuxes and gowns, but realistically no one wants to do that for a wedding. I think you'll see a lot of suits and cocktail dresses at the wedding. Just to be sure, I would ask others that you know are going. No one wants to be the only person in a gown in a room full of cocktail dresses or vice versa.