Wedding garter tradition

I would personally skip it because I don't like this, neither does my fiancé

Not because we're concerned about our grand parents and some over 50 uncles,aunts being there.

However, if you really wanna do it and your if fiancé wants too, or at the very least, he doesn't hate this tradition , GO FOR IT!
"I'm not sure it's very appropriate for our wedding and all the older family members": Great point but when it happens, it doesn't kill anyone, you know... And it only takes a couples of minutes while.the reception will last 4+ hours. The garter toss will NOT be the #1 thing elders (or others) will mention in the future when they remember/discuss your wedding day, nor the #2,#3 or even #15.

Yes, you can take it off yourself, it would be a cool alternative but only IF you want to do it that way, not because you care about your folks' opinions.

I personally think its the cringiest part of a wedding, I even look away lol. I just don't get the tradition of it, and I most certainly don't want my family watching my husband put his hands (or mouth!) up my dress lol. Not to mention I have never once heard anyone say they enjoy being forced to go out there and catch another woman's garter lol. BUT its most definitely your day and you should do whatever you wanna do, regardless of anyone else's opinions

I wouldn't worry about the older generation (which apparently I am one of lol) Garter toss was much more common back then. They're used to it. If you want to do it. ho ahead and do it. Don't worry about what other people think.

A lot of people these days don’t seem to like the garter toss. My fiancé’s friends thought it was cringey at the last wedding we all went to, but personally I think it’s tradition and therefore I’m doing it. I’m not concerned about what family will think - like another commenter noted, it only takes a few minutes and won’t be the main impression of the reception! It is possible to do without being overly suggestive and gross, I think.


That being said, if you don’t like it, you can totally omit it or change it up like you said. But it’s your day, so do whatever you feel will reflect best on your style and the tone of your day! I say go for it

I personally wouldn't do it because it's an outdated "tradition" rooted in sexist principles. Also uncomfortable for the guests to witness

I do not know what I would do but if it is a tradition then go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fiance and I both 100% agreed to skip this tradition for our wedding. We find it awkward and uncomfortable. However, many people either stick with this tradition or modify it, so do what feels right for you! Putting a garter (doesn't have to be one that you wear) on a football and doing the toss that way is a good alternative! Maybe consider taking away the football after the toss, or just be careful that people don't start a football game in the venue after having a few drinks.

We personally hate this part of the wedding as well as the bouquet toss. We eliminated it both and decided to give a bouquet to my most deserving single friend and had the garter to the most deserving single man there. That’s it. I personally love putting it in a football tho. That’s cute!

I think it's gross.

View Quoted Comment "Just be careful that people don't start a football game in the venue after having a few drinks"
😀😆.
I would ask the venue to add a clause that says something along the lines of : "if the guests start a football game, the groom and bride won't be responsible for this whole mess and the "players" will have to clean up the venue and pay for the broken stuff" LOL.

As a guest, I have actually only seen this at a couple weddings and I have worked at many. It was very tame each time so guests seemed to enjoy it. I have never personally witnessed any of the horror stories including the supposedly “common in every circle” one with the garter catcher putting it on the bouquet catcher, which is bizarre in itself. The ones posted to YouTube are uncomfortable to watch after half a second because they are so over the top oversexualized, but that is not the norm everywhere from people I have talked to. In a nutshell, I don’t care either way.


The tradition, as with all other wedding traditions, originated in the Middle Ages. During that time s marriage could not be consummated without a witness, usually male clergy. Tossing the bride’s clothes out the window served as proof they had done the deed to eliminate the witnesses. If the tradition bothers, then skip it. It’s not required the same way that being polite is.

We skipped the bouquet and garter tosses. For one, most of our friends are either already married or engaged, so there would be very few people participating. For another reason, all weddings I've been to in the last 5 years, everyone hates going out the catch the dang things.


So we skipped both and decided to do an anniversary dance instead. We highlighted the couples at our wedding instead of our single friends. There was a lot less tension and less trying to force people onto the dance floor.

We are doing it however we are keeping it very tame.

I’ve also attended religious weddings where the groom tossed his boutonnière and that was well received as an alternative.

View Quoted Comment Oh I have never heard of that one before! I kinda like that thank you

View Quoted Comment I agree. Though the more I think about it the more I don't think my fiance is all that interested in it. And I could see his groomsmen and other single friends being really wild and inappropriate when it comes to getting tossed a football lol

View Quoted Comment I guess I've only been to a couple weddings and seen it and both times it was older family members so it wasn't cringey for me. But I feel like if I didn't know the couple very well I might be a little embarrassed to see it. Good point.

View Quoted Comment Haha thank you that's good to know Sharon

I also like the idea of giving the bouquet to the woman who has been married the longest but it seems like all our friends have recently been divorced and family im not so sure about either. I'll have to think on that one

View Quoted Comment I like this idea in theory but it would not work in our circles because the longest married are widows.