Wedding dress didn't fit- do-over?

The back had a cutout and she looked like a popped can of biscuits. Her boobs were squished in and it looked so uncomfortable I felt awful for her. The zipper did not go up all the way and you could see safety pins and ribbon trying to cover the fact. I have no idea how they got her in it. At the reception she barely sat down, refused to eat anything, was sulky and almost in tears, refused to do her first dance, and really only talked to people to complain about how she looked, blame it on the seamtress, and demand they go to the bathroom with her so she could hide in there. At one point she snapped at the photographer because she didn't want any photos of herself. The DJ informed all of us that no photos were allowed.

It was a really awful awkward wedding. No one knew what to do. We all felt terrible for her. It also felt a bit like if she had somehow been able to laugh it off and roll with it the atmosphere wouldn't have been as bad. She and the new husband ended up leaving early and the reception got a bit better.

I'm now hearing that she wants a do-over after her honeymoon: a second identical wedding with all of the same people, food, decortations, flowers, and a dress that fits her this time. Her parents have offered to pay for a photography session, at a time of her choosing, for her and her husband. So she could either try to lose weight and use the same dress or buy a new dress that actually fits and get photos now. But no. She's telling anyone and everyone who will listen that she wants her wedding done again.

I'm trying to imagine realizing the day of my wedding my dress doesn't fit. I feel like I'd cry, be angry at myself, probably yell at someone because being angry at myself wouldn't be satisfying enough, apologize to that person, and figure out something else to wear. Like, I have a bunch of dresses at home. It's not ideal but something would have to do. Or ask someone to give me their suit jacket and wear it over my dress? Literally anything that wouldn't be me throwing a tantrum the whole day? Stuff happens and you have to roll with it.

Like this is insane, right? I don't actually have to go to another wedding for this person?

I wouldn't go!

I am not the size I want to he due to some health issues. I did not enjoy shopping for my dress, nor do I feel pretty wearing it. However, I decided months ago that I could make myself (and everyone around me) miserable or I could accept that this is what I look like right now and FH loves me (warts and all). The wedding is about us as a couple, not me getting to be a princess for a day. I'm too old for that $h*t, anyway.

I would go for the free meal and booze and potential entertainment but I wouldn't get a gift. Even if my wedding is the worst thing in the world, at the end of the day I'm still married to FH and that's what matters.

How on earth did she not try the dress on at least a week before? There's no way I could go that long just "hoping" my dress would fit

I do feel for her because I couldn't imagine my dress not fitting the day of... I picked it up a week ago, it fit, and I'm watching my diet majority the next 2 weeks, so I should be good! But, talk about a nightmare!!!

That being said, she should've never ordered a dress that didn't fit her body, and another wedding seems like some serious overkill. I either wouldn't go or wouldn't give a gift at the second one.

I'm thinking over time her initial disappointment will simmer. I just don't understand how she thinks she can do it all over. A photo shoot, fine. But the whole thing????

Wow. I'm torn between sympathy for her (I mean, I wouldn't wish that on anyone!) and consternation that she expects everyone to attend a second wedding over this. I agree that I would have found *something* to wear (after I threw a private pity party for myself). A do-over photography session seems like a good solution. I certainly wouldn't attend a do-over wedding, though.

Bang on, it wouldn't have been so bad if a bit of humor was thrown in the situation. Having said that, we really don't know how any one of us would react in her situation. I guess we'd all plan a bit better and not see unicorns in our future when very clearly a strict diet regimen (or at the very least, a fitting before the wedding!) is needed.

@Kimi: So close! Now that's a healthy attitude. A happy bride is a pretty bride.

Holy crap. I mean, that sucks a ton for the bride, seriously. But a complete do-over wedding expecting all your guests to attend again? No thanks.

How do you get to that point ON YOUR WEDDING DAY without having come up with a solution before that? I just don't really understand.

So she didn't know the dress did not fit at her final fitting?

I don't know why she didn't try it on either or how she didn't know her body enough to know there would be a problem. It was really awkward and as the event went on my sympathy turned into awkwardness and a bit of annoyance I just wanted it to be over.

I didn't think I had to go again, I really don't want to. I was wondering if anyone else would. I have no idea if there will actually be another one or not. I think she and her husband could afford to have another wedding but probably not identical which I think is the point of it- so she can pretend the first one didn't happen and only use photos from a second wedding.

If it did happen and I did go I wouldn't even think of bringing a gift. It seems like a lot to ask of people.

I feel bad for her mom and the husband. They seem to have gotten the most of her upset emotions directed at them. The husband is really calm natured and sweet and kept telling her she looked beautiful and he loved her. He was upset she was upset.

(Edited for spelling.)

That is seriously the craziest thing I have heard in a while. Like other people have mentioned... how do you get to the day of your wedding and not have tried your dress on? Although, I did have a friend tell me that when she got married, David's messed up something on her dress and it did not come in until 3 days before her wedding. She had her fittings in those three days and the head seamstress took her dress home each night to personally work on it and her dad had to pick it up the morning of her wedding. But even in that case, my friend had tried it on 3 or so times in the days before and the seamstress was working furiously on it to make it fit properly (and she looked amazing).

I as engaged once before and used to just wear the dress when I was by myself and felt sad. So I have no idea how anyone goes without trying it on several times!

All I can say is she's stubborn and it was going to be THAT DRESS and nothing else. Since she was blaming the seamstress the day of it's possible she wouldn't let anyone let the dress out. Or maybe it couldn't be let out enough? I have no idea. My last wedding dress was a "regular" white dress from Bloomingdale's and not a typical wedding gown and since I'm so far out this time I haven't looked at any yet.

I mean, it's easy for all of us to sit here and say she overreacted and that she should just roll with it, but I'm sure if it happened to anyone else here, we'd probably be just as upset (though we may not take it out on others or hide in the bathroom). You said yourself that it looked awful and I'm sure she sensed that everyone was thinking the same thing. I imagine she was hurt, mad at herself, and incredibly self-conscious. If it happened to me, I'd like to think I'd summon the composure to get through the ceremony, then change into anything else for the reception. People would understand if you're not in your wedding dress. What they won't understand (as evidenced by this thread) is when you let it ruin the evening.

To answer your question, no, you don't have to go to her do-over. Why would you? You didn't even have to attend the first one if you didn't want to. If she wants to have one, that's her choice. It's not like everyone won't know she's already married. They can all choose whether or not to attend.

Wow that's kinda crazy. It's unfortunate what happened, but wanting to do it all over is nuts.

I would feel sorry for her, except she had fittings I'm sure, and it's her own fault for ordering smaller knowing that her weight fluctuates so much. She could have easily prevented the fiasco just having a corset back put in at the last fitting, just in case, but she didn't. It's all on her.

I'm with mna on this one. The bride was in serious denial.

You do not just get to do over your wedding. That's just weird. She's probably just being crazy and emotional right now. Sucks that it happened that way, but that's why you always do multiple fittings before the big day!

That is crazy! No one's day is every going to be perfect. You just roll with it. I mean the thought of me not fitting my dress is a thought that I have a lot. I bought the dress way too early and now have been watching my weight. I try on the dress all the time and plan to do it again at the end of the month. Plus I am sure the dress needed to have alterations done to it. It is a sad that it happened to her but it seems like she should have known it was not going to fit.

No. No. No. and NO.

I don't feel sorry for her either. She put herself in that situation - no one else did.

Gotta be smarter than that.