Wedding day guilt?

Husband and I were just talking about this if it makes you feel better.

View Quoted Comment I’m just having a really hard time with it! For one I’m disappointed in myself. I spent two years planning and have waited so long for my wedding and it went by SO fast and I know a huge reason I don’t remember bits and pieces I’d because I drank too much too soon! Luckily I didn’t get to the point where I couldn’t stand or anything I for sure held it together and danced the night away but seeing pictures and videos that others took and I’m just like omg I don’t even remember that! I do however remember The most important parts but after the ceremony and dinner I turned it up a notch LOL

Don’t fret! It’s not just the booze. “Bliss Brain” is real. My DH & I didn’t drink until cocktail hour (and only had 1/2 glass of champagne because we had to change into our reception outfits but we both couldn’t remember parts of our day! My mom couldn’t either. It’s a happy yet weird fog. Amen for photographers to show us the moments we forgot and the ones other people saw.

View Quoted Comment It’s really funny you mentioned the “bliss brain” because I was sitting there trying to piece together our day that I worked so damn hard at and even in the beginning of the morning and into our first look or taking all the photos after that when I was still sober it was hard for me to even put that together and everything I have read about other brides having this haze or foggy brain is exactly what I’m experiencing! It makes me happy to know im not the only one because looking back I knew I drank a lot but I still was completely functioning and I just couldn’t put my finger on why I literally felt like I forgot the entire day except for like very specific moments like walking down the aisle, my dads prayer and lines in our ceremony to each other or or vows! I’m so thankful we have our photos and video because I feel like it’s so difficult to cope with not remembering your day!

I'm so worried about doing this, but hey like the other ladies have pointed out, the mind does funny things. Think of it this way, now you get to discover the memories as they come back as other people tell stories of things that happened at your wedding. Maybe.. I dunno. Haha. I've designated party police to remind me to take it slow.

Sarah the one piece of advice I would have for any bride is to take even 5 minutes every hour or so to just have a moment to yourself or with your husband! The day went by faster than I ever imagined it would and I so wish I could relive my day again to hold onto those moments! If your family is anything like mine (party people) at least you know that your wedding will be an absolute blast! The adrenaline, excitement, emotions, being pulled in so many directions is somthing that I didn’t prepare myself for and I wish I would have looked into things I could do the day of to just kind of take a moment to collect my thoughts or even just BREATHE! But that is so hard to do! I’ve never felt as much excitement and love as I did that day and when I look back I can barely remember it all except for specific vivid moments and just having a continuous smile on my face! Enjoy your day and ALL the moments you can! Also if you don’t have a video person get one if you guys can! I’m so thankful we decided to do that because now I’ll be able to hold onto that forever!

View Quoted Comment

It's real! A weird foggy surreal happy feeling. Weird feeling to be buzzed without drinking, even in amazing meditations/massages I don't feel like that because even though I may feel very relaxed the world is crisp & clear not floaty. I know, sounds strange.

I read your other post below. Sadly, we were too over-budget for a videographer but were so relieved we had a 2nd photographer! Having TWO photographers would be one of my top recommendations. All that work and money for one day...photos help capture those memories!

View Quoted Comment

Hi Jessica! Pirate & 60s Bride says it perfectly. You're so happy, it's all a blur, with our without alcohol.

That's okay. That's what pictures/videos are for lol.

I'm so glad other people feel this same way- I've been so unsettled feeling like I've "forgotten" parts of the day and not being able to piece together the exact timeline of the day. Apparently this is very common and real, and it makes me feel so much better to know I'm not crazy! I'm trying to keep in mind that there is a difference between "mindfulness" and "remembering." I know I was totally in the moment during my wedding and enjoying it immensely- I just can't remember every detail, and a lot of it feels foggy and floaty (a happy fog).

View Quoted Comment

Wow this is so helpful to read. i've been feeling the exact same way. EXACT. I feel like i hardly drank yet so much of the day and evening is a complete BLUR. I think from lack of food/adrenaline/nerves, etc. I've talked to a lot of people and this seems really common.

These posts are so comforting to read. I’ve really been struggling with the ‘come down’ from our wedding, and one of the saddest things for me is that I feel like I remember so little of it. It’s like I spent a year and a half and so much money creating this event that I didn’t even get to attend. Someone else said it in a previous post…it’s feels very unsettling. I had a few drinks over many hours but definitely wasn’t drunk to the point of not remembering. It didn’t help that our rentals person had a total meltdown the day before our wedding and tons of the details I had so carefully planned never happened at all or were executed very, very poorly. So that stressed me out a ton during the first half of the day which definitely didn’t set me up well for “being in the moment” for the rest of the day. But it makes me so, so sad that I remember so little of my own wedding that it feels like I wasn’t even there.

I just had mine Saturday and have been so bummed ever since and struggling to feel happy and positive about the event even though everything was smooth and everyone had a blast. I drank a little too much and struggling to recall any specific memories from the last couple hours of dancing. I know I was having fun, but can't recall any details or moments with my guest or husband on the back half of the short event. I am literally in tears this week and so mad at myself for drinking too much. We had set intentions to be present and soak it in, not drink too much, not let a few guests ruin my mood, and ultimately some people did what I expected and just threw the plan out the window. Glad I'm not alone and others who didn't drink as much felt the same way. My husband remembers everything and I'm jealous and kinda angry that he didn't help slow me down and hold me to our game plan to be present and intentional (and less drunk). I'm also going back to every detail and wishing I did this or that, invited more guests, prepared better for certain parts of the night. Its really eating me up and bringing my husband down because now he feels I didn't enjoy it. We didn't have a videographer and don't have photog pics back, so I'm just watching iphone vids people sent and trying to recreate the night. Need help moving on from this and feeling happy and grateful for the night and not regretful and angry at myself and husband.

I am so glad I am not the only one who has felt this way. Because I was starting to think there was something wrong with me haha. I definitely enjoyed the night and had my drinks. But I I feel like I honestly didn't start to really feel the alcohol until around 10-10:30 and our reception went until 12am. But even when it did end at 12am, I was pretty drunk at that point but I remember everything then! Packing up the venue, waiting to go back to the hotel, all those stupid things so I just didn't understand why I couldn't remember who I talked to through out the night, who I hung out with, hell I couldn't even remember more then half the songs that were played by our DJ! I was so sad the next day and almost felt guilty that there were people I may not have even hung out with. I was even sad I didn't really hang out with my bridesmaids who are my best friends. I have been a bridesmaid SO MANY times and I can't explain how much of a difference the night is when you're the bride. After talking to all my girlfriends who got married before me, it's a normal thing. It is such a long, stressful non stop day, it's like your mind is like shutting off because of all the go go go. All I can say is, I am very happy me and my husband went around to every table during dinner to say hi to everyone and thank them and have small talk then. Your guests understand too that you're in the spotlight so even if you hang out with one person for 5 minutes out of the whole night, they get it. I am also happy I remember the important moments at least, like the ceremony, walking in, toasts, first dances. But like my husband said, there is a reason why you hire photographers/videographers because they are there to capture the whole day and night so you can always relive it. I also regret not taking a few minutes for me and him to have time to ourselves. I do feel like that would've helped slowed the night down and may help recollect my thoughts. And I was told by friends before the big day to do that. So all future brides, I recommend that!

I am so grateful for this post. It’s been two months since my wedding and I couldn’t believe that I a couldn’t remember a lot of the details of my wedding day. I thought something was definitely wrong with me. I’ve been feeling sad that the day went by so fast and that I couldn’t remember the music, some dances, certain pictures. I spent so much planning our wedding and this was something I didn’t anticipate. My advice for future brides is to get as much rest the night and week before the wedding. Try to get ALL the planning out of the way a week before your wedding.

View Quoted Comment

My daughter's wedding was Friday and I feel the same way. I drank but not nearly enough to not remember things. I remember some things from the ceremony and reception, but not others. I remember my speech and my first dance. I had a good buzz but not blasted out of my mind. I really think it is just the opposite of forgetting. I feel like I was so deep into the moment that my internal voice ( we all have it nonstop all day every day) shut off and I was just enjoying it so much. It is just too much for the brain to process and like the others said, pictures and stories from friends will fill in the blanks. And if not, just know the moments you don't remember that you were connected with no tethers at all.

It’s so good to be able to read all these posts and know that I am not alone!! It’s not something I was expecting to feel after my wedding: sad, guilty, anxiety. Why do I feel this way when I had the most wonderful day! My brain is being pretty cruel and making me feel like I drank too much (I did drink more than I was planning to but I was so in the moment), or didn’t talk to everyone enough, didn’t do enough. But I think that’s all not actually true. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me because this was one of the few days in my life I was 100% in the moment. Not worrying about anything. Completely enjoying each moment as they came along. And I want so dearly to relive our wedding day and be able to hold on to it forever but looking at pictures helps a lot. Knowing that I thoroughly enjoyed the moments when they happened, helps a lot too. We can’t relive moments after they happen and this is one of the first time I’ve been confronted with this feeling, which makes it hard too. I know I’m going to keep struggling with this but it really helps to know I’m not alone.

I literally typed in if it was normal to bot remember lots of details of your wedding and I'm so glad others can relate!!I remember bits and pieces but the best way to describe it is an out of body experience with so many happy people and excitement everywhere..it was surreal and did fly by fast!! Now I'm just waiting for my photographer to send the pics so I can kind of piece together the whole celebration..Everyone who attended said it was so much fun and perfect so that makes me feel good cause I know it was the best day of my life!

View Quoted Comment

Very thankful to read your post! Our son just got married and I've been beating myself up over not spending more time talking with guests, getting photos, embracing people, etc. I genuinely feel like it was an out of body experience. I enjoyed the event very much and everything went beautifully. But, looking back it feels like I was in a fog. Ugh! Your comment that it was "too much for the brain to process" is right on target!!

I unfortunately drank at my daughter’s wedding. I drank a little bit too much. I do remember bits and pieces of the wedding, that we paid for. But it was for the last hour of the reception/dance. I I am so tormented about it because I didn’t go and talk to my family like I planned . I didn’t take pictures all I see myself is out dancing on the floor. I feel so guilty that I have lost sleep over it.