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Just Said Yes November 2022

Wedding Date vs Venue

Nik, on February 18, 2022 at 12:07 AM Posted in Planning 5 6
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Hi!
So I am planning a wedding and am torn between the perfect venue/church and the perfect date. This is probably very silly, but I had my heart set on 11/12/22, but the venue and church I want is only available 11/5/22. I keep beating myself up over it because if I would have started planning the wedding earlier than 12 months out then I could have possibly gotten the date at the venue I wanted. Or if I knew how to plan a wedding then I probably would’ve done a better job at it. So basically I can get married on 11/5/22 at the most beautiful church and venue or get married on 11/12/22 at a different pretty church (has sentiment to us as my fiancé got baptized there/ older style look) and venue (older style). I worry I’ll regret the date as that will be the day we will celebrate for the rest of our lives. Plus my birthday is a few days before the 11/5/22 date. However, 11/5/22 is the day we started “talking” not dating. What I like about 11/12/22 is that is not only a nice date but it also has 12 in it as our dating anniversary is in December (falls on a weekday). Will I learn to get over the date? Is the venue/church more important for that one day? Thank you everyone for any advice you may have from your own personal experience.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Rosie, on February 18, 2022 at 8:37 PM
  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    I’ve always viewed a calendar day as something that you can change your mindset/meaning around to make it better as years go by, but you won’t ever be able to change the pictures/video of your wedding.
    When I was younger, I always told myself I would never want to get married in May (that stupid superstition about the month) yet here I am getting married on May 21st 😂 We really wanted to get married at the church we met through and get a reception venue that fit our style but is also not too far of a drive from the church as a courtesy to our guests, so venues had to take priority over dates.
    I do understand the other side of it though. My cousin chose her date because it was her late grandfather’s birthday (happened to perfectly fall on a Saturday that year) and she was very close with him.
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  • A
    Dedicated April 2023
    Ashley ·
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    Some couples (more often than not: brides) have their heart set on a particular venue and don't care about the date they're getting married on. For other couples/brides, it's the opposite. Both reasoning are valid, of course.
    If you can't have the venue and church you want on the date you want, just ask yourself what's more important to you: the venue & church or the date? I'm sure that one of this criteria is more important to you than the other one.
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  • Samantha
    Super May 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I think the venue is one day but the date is the rest of your lives. There's tons of gorgeous venues out there, but as you said, only 9 months out, its going to be harder to find one.

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  • Charlotte
    Dedicated June 2022
    Charlotte ·
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    I can totally understand your dilemma!!! I fell in love with a venue and it was so affordable! However, part of it is not insulated and I get hot VERY easily. My fiancé and I had always talked about getting married in May because it’s after most of the pollen is gone in my state (I have really terrible pollen allergies in the spring.) and it hopefully wouldn’t be too hot. We both also always wanted to get married outside.


    Since we were planning our wedding on a shorter timeframe by the time we got to this venue the only date they had available in May was the date of my oldest friend‘s college graduation, and I was planning on her being in my bridal party. We ended up deciding on June and I am currently praying it is not 90 degrees!
    Moral of the story, I would not get too sucked into the date. I knew I wanted to get married at this venue and that was more important to me at the end of the day then when we got married.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Are you and fiancé members at the church you want to marry in? Depending on the denomination, many churches require you to a current practicing member of that church. This is especially true of Catholic churches. It’s seen as a solemn ritual that deserves due respect rather than coming in off the street because the couple wants a pretty backdrop.


    No matter what date you go with that is available, it will be special. Many couples get married on or near a birthday or other occasion and others don’t. There’s no right or wrong. Only you and fiancé can decide which is more important of the two.
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  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    While I do think 11/12/22 sounds super cool, every year after, it's not going to be that date anymore. It's going to be 11/12/23 or whatever.

    Meanwhile the photos will always be at the venue you choose. So, I would likely go for the venue, and choose a date that didn't clash too much with other events going on at that time of year.

    Also, I feel like I should mention that we booked our date 18 months out to coincide with cherry blossom season at our venue, and also hoping covid would be basically gone by our wedding, and we then had to postpone for 6 months, so no cherry blossom, and the date is totally different.

    I think in these times, getting too hung up on details is likely to lead to disappointment, as you just... have to be a lot more flexible than you might hope. It sucks, but I feel like it's important to mention, just so you aren't shocked/surprised if something happens down the line, you know?

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