Wedding Criticism

Aww..Why are you feeling crappy? Who is throwing these punches and why?

I'm sorry . Have you considered eloping? A wedding is not worth crying yourself to sleep for one night, much less most.

The punches are coming from all over - friends, family, random guests, non guests, etc.

We're both pretty religious so sadly eloping is not an option

I wish I could help - I am trying to avoid this by planning my wedding for September 2013 - we just got engaged a few weeks ago. We will have to make so many decisions so fast that I won't have time to second guess myself or give anyone else time to question us! Best of luck.

Are people not agreeing with your wedding plans? I know it's hard to take because everyone has different views on what they would do for their wedding, but you have to remember that it is your wedding and at the end of the day, you don't want to regret not doing the things that you wanted to do because you were worried about others' opinions.

Are they not liking what you are picking for your wedding? Dress? Location? Food? Decor? or Just being negative in general?

The hard part is I'm compromised on so much because I really do want eveyrone to enjoy the wedding and now the few things I'm putting my foot down on I'm getting dumped on. Like not inviting certain people that I "should" or the fact that it's an adults-only wedding or the weirdness of doing readings when traditional Jewish weddings don't do any readings

Well, what I've learned is that you will NEVER be happy trying to satify everyone else. You can't satisfy everyone (I had to learn the hard way). As long as you and your FH are fine with the decisions you guys are making for YOUR wedding day, then you should be ok.

Perk up, and don't worry about everyone else's opinion. Put you and your FH first in this situation. If they don't like your decisions, then OH WELL!! Especially if they aren't paying a dime!

Aww hang in there. just remember that you are not obligated to take anyone's opinion but yours and your FH. Take their comments with stride smile and ignore. Very soon you will marry the man of your dreams and they will move on to something else. I am sure you have done a fine job. As long as you and FH are happy.

You can still "elope" at a small chapel with just you two and the rabi/priest/preacher.

Don't let others bother you!!! Everyone has an opinion...but you don't have to listen!!!! It's your choice honey. Stick to what's important to you and your FH! :-(

Focus on the two of you and take a break from planning for a few days! Maybe that's what you need!

I hit this wall too and I did start telling people who asked if I was "excited" that nope, I was honestly very stressed and that I was doing the best I could under the circumstances. That shut them up fast and people stopped asking.

I'm so sorry you are going through this I'm glad FH is supportive and there for you. Can you take a little break from planning? Like a weekend away?

I feel your pain. I used to cry every single night as well. I am now 32 days away and I feel so burnt out. I have come to the realization that I am caring too much about what others think.

Take time out to pray with each other and focus on what truly makes you two lovebirds happy.

Trust me, I know those crackling feelings. Not fun at all. I now tell folks wedding planning is stupid and I advise folks to elope. lolol.

Listen to your heart. And I agree what was previously written: The less you share, the less you hear from others.

Keep smiling!!!

I feel you sister. I think we will all have some battle scars when wedding planning is finally over. I think the main problem lies in divulging your plans to others. This is where we see the most criticism. Usually it is from one main person (MIL,MOB,FSIL,MOH) to name a few, but after 15 months of taking this kind of heat I would shut down completely and tell people "You are invited and we will see you on (insert wedding date)" or "Thank you for your advice, please continue to pray for our marriage" if they are not invited.

Work on finding your Happy Place- think Happy Gilmore with Adam Sandler

Hang in there. It will all be over soon, but dont' stress yourself out trying to please everyone. At the end of the day, it's all about what makes you happy. Trying to be a people pleaser will kill you fast. So stop all that crying, perk up, and remember that the marriage is where the fun begins!

Awww don't let others ruin this for you! Do what makes you & your FH happy. This day is for you! If anyone brings up the wedding just say I'd rather not talk wedding right now please. Good luck Hun!

I know what you mean. I've been engaged for a year already and we have another year to go, and if I hear one more negative thing from my MIL or MOB or MOH or BMs I'm just going to tell people they can either show up or not and I don't care.

Thanks everyone. I think I am going to need to start telling people that everything is a surprise or that we're keeping the details between us. It's sad that it needs to be that way but we really don't have any other options.

While there is a part of me that would love to elope, I know I'll look back and regret not having the big wedding. And while this should be a factor, we've already spent a ton of money on this wedding and to throw it all away now would be terrible. I know my mental and emotional health is worth a lot but wasting that kind of money just isn't something I can do.

Thanks for your support!

I"m so so sorry Stephanie. I was completely in your shoes just four months ago. I was miserable. Unfortunately, I stayed that way until last week. Now it is so close to the wedding I just don't have time to worry about most of the nonsense. I seriously considered cancelling our wedding for the same reasons you are - I mean, I sat my parents and FH down to talk about it. In the end they told me I'd regret it so I'm going forward with it - and I"m finally happy about it. The only advice I can give you is to avoid talking about the wedding. I took a two month break from WW, I told my friends I was completely done planning and didn't want to talk about it, and I only did wedding stuff with FH and my mom. They were the only people I talked about it with, just so I didn't have to hear anyone else's crappy input. People forget this is YOUR day and don't realize how much work you put into making them comfortable and happy. They'll appreciate it soon though. I hope things turn around for you!

I really feel for you! Sounds like you're on the right track by starting to just tell everyone that it will be a surprise. Be firm, if you can still find a smile, smile and say something like, "No, no, I can't talk about it anymore." Then change the subject back to them.

And to think other people complain about brides only wanting to talk about their wedding. . . You need a huge break and to not have to talk about it except with your FH. *Also, don't forget, turning off your phone IS an option! Hide whenever you can; get some rest. Everything is going to work out. You're an adult and I'm sure make good decisions! No more worries allowed! 20 years from now "they" won't care or remember. Bless you!