Walking down the aisle?! ugh

You do exactly what your heart tells you! Once you ask yourself the question, you already have the answer!

I know but I dont want to hurt his feelings.. And Idk if I should tell him Im walking down with FH. Or just not bring it up, unless he says something. My Stepmom made a comment about the father daughter dance & he said " Im not dancing!!!!"

Just don't say anything unless it's brought it and then say you were planning on walking down and meeting FH half way. If it gets to be a big deal maybe he can walk you half way and then from the half way point you and FH walk the rest of the way.

At least you won't have to worry about doing a dance with him since he wants no part of that.

If he says anything to you maybe he can walk you down to the point where FH is going to meet you... however I would just tell him your feelings if he asks... I'm sure he will understand.

I feel like if hes going to walk me half way down, he might as well walk me the whole way down, you know? I just dont like the idea of him "giving me away" when he was never in my life, growing up. So It would be the same even if it was only half way down. Idk.

I'm in a similar situation with my dad. He asked me if my grandfather was walking me down and I told him no, I was walking down myself. Call me crazy (which I am) but I mildly object to the whole "giving the bride away". I'm not property. Just makes it easier that I'm not emotionally tied to it. I like the idea of FH walking part way with you. I've been thinking about us walking down together. I've learned that if you stand firm with your decisions, people fight you less. It's amazing how they stop when you just calmly say "I've made my decision and there is nothing left to discuss". Why are you worried about hurting his feelings when he didn't worry about not participating in your life? *hugs. It will be ok

I know your totally right about him not worrying about hurting mine. Cuz it did, and honestly still does!! Me & FH have lived together for TWO years, 30 min from my dads house & he has NEVER been to our house. I just need to suck it up & if it does hurt his feelings... then maybe he should of been more involded in my life? Im sorry your going through the same thing! It sucks!

I didn't want to be "given away" cause I am not property as others have said but unlike you I have always had my dad and we have a great relationship.

But anyway,

My alternative to not wanting to be given away was to have the Officiant say, "Who supports this woman in her choice to marry this man?" And my mom and dad both said, "We do".

Maybe consider a different wording. Otherwise, I think it's a nice idea to walk with your FH. Just tell your dad the truth.

If you decide not to have your dad walk you down you could stop where he is seated before you and FH finish down the aisle and just give him a hug and a kiss as a symbol of you "leaving your parents behind as you and FH look forwards to the future together" type thing. I know you didn't have a great relationship with him but it may mean more to him than you think it does. Not that he EXPECTS it but he might just be a super huge proud papa of the woman you have become.

I kinda like the he walks you half way and FH meets the both of you, you hug and kiss daddy good bye and FH walks you the rest of the way (fh shakes his hand before taking yours) and you are embarking on the new journey/chapter of your life as a couple etc.

In the end do what makes you comfy and happy. Just wanted to give you a few other out of the box ideas

I'm in a simliar situation. My parents will not be at my wedding so I have a very good friend that has been like a mom to me (she's old enough to be my mom!) and she is walking me down the aisle. She has been with me every step of the way during this wedding planning and an amazing support system. At first i thought it might be a bit weird to have her walk me down the aisle and a couple friends have made comments but it's my day and i'm going to do what makes me happy! I would walk down by myself but I get really nervous so knew I needed someone by my side. I think you have to do what will ultimately make you happy. Maybe this is wrong but I don't feel you should feel obligated to do things, esp on your wedding day! Do what you want and what makes you happy! If you ever look back on it and second guess your decision just know you made the right decision at the time based on how you felt! Good luck to you!! =)

What do you think about your FH and you both walking down the aisle together? Not meeting him half but all the way?

I know that kind of takes away from that first look, but maybe you can do the first before the ceremony - somewhere private and get it captured by your photographer.

You can walk by yourself; you can have FH meet you on the aisle; you & FH can walk in from either side & meet in the middle (avoiding the aisle).

I have been dealing with a similar issue, except my father is delusional in thinking he has a part in raising me b/c our visits were a little more frequent then yours. Unlike you though my mother is living, but they cannot stand each (really he's the immature one).

It has been a bone of contention, but you need to stand firm in what means the most to you. He will have to understand or deal with your decision however he has to. This is your day and certain parts of it you get to decide to do what you want to do no matter what "tradition" is.

Our minister marrying us constantly tells us in pre-martial counseling, it's you're wedding you can do whatever you want to do.

Good luck I feel your pain!

That's awesome that you're walking with FH! I'm actually doing something similar. My procession is starting outside (guests have the option to be outside for it or inside) and will be meeting my FH at the front door of the church. We will then cross the threshold together and process to the front of the church together.

As for your dad's feelings, just explain to him the significance of your FH walking together with you down the aisle. Perhaps as a compromise he can hand you to FH at the back of the aisle? Though in the end, it is your wedding and what you and FH want is what matters. If it were about pleasing others it wouldn't be your day.

Do what you want. I have plenty of couples walk in together, brides walk with their moms or brothers, walk alone; one even came in with her grandma.

It's all about honoring the people who have been there for you.

I am sorry your mother isn't here to walk you down. Is there anything you can do with your bouquet(a piece of jewelry)so that she can be with you?

Re your father....don't bring up the subject. If he does, stand firm in your decision. He doesn't get a vote. He gave up that right.

My daughter did see her father on a regular basis and he still was not "there". He even did quite well in the child support department. Despite his paying for her reception, she insisted both he and I walk her down the aisle. Initially, I really wanted to be magnanimous and tell her to just walk with her father, but I really did have to honor my daughter's wishes of honoring me.

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I think Im just gunna go with the flow & not mention it to him, unless he says something. I will say me & FH plan on walking down together.

Carole M- My moms wedding dress was all lace, so we cut some of the lace off her dress & wrapped it around my flower stems. Me & FH are also silently lighting a candle in memory of her, next to a bouquet of flowers in her favorite color!

Could you have your dad walk you half way and then hand you off to FH so you can walk the rest of the way together? It sounds like you don't want to hurt his feelings....

I am in a semi similar situation, my dad played disappearing acts but in my teenage years we got closer. I do not feel like my dad should give me away but i do want my father to escort me down the aisle and my pastor is saying who gives the blessing, my issue is my dad wanting my man to ask him for my hand in marriage which to me is like wth. But honey its your day you make it how you want it. And who cares how anyone else feels because ultimately it is your life and your future.

When my parents got divorced I didn't want my dad walking me down either- but he has since come back into my life and he's helping to pay for it- I'm thinking of having both him and my mom walk me down most of the way and then I'll take the last few steps myself- no words or anything, they can just walk lol