Walking Down the Aisle Issue

He's being unreasonable. As you said, he's not walking her down the isle. Both your parents are walking YOU down the isle to "give you away". Easiest solution would be to have him walk you down alone. Or, tell him it's unfortunate that he won't be walking you down the isle at all because you really wanted him AND your mother to give you away.

My parents have been divorced for a long time as well. I am just having my dad walk me down the aisle. My mother will have a part later in the ceremony. I discussed it with her this far out because she is still bitter. But suprisingly she took it well. I think your suggestion is good but I would continue to stress to him the importance of having him at your side. I am fortunate enough to have a stepmom that is understandable and I will be giving her a corsage to express her importance. What does your stepmom say to what your father is suggesting? ETA for clarity.

He could walk you part way down the aisle and your mom could walk you the rest of the way. Would he be open to that?

He is totally missing the point, and you're spot on in your recommendation. If you do not have a close relationship with your step mom (as in she raised you since you were 2 in lieu of a relationship with your biological mom) that would be totally inappropriate.

I rarely see step parents in the processional unless it's a very unusual situation, like above. The aisle is not about them; it's about you. He's got some time to think about this; if he seriously won't budge, walk down with your mom.

These situations are always a little fraught with emotions, and it is tough to have everyone leave feeling like they were treated with respect, but if you want your dad to walk you down the aisle, it should be either him or both your biological parents. After 20 years, they can suck it up for a half hour.

I have not discussed with my step mom as we do not have that type of relationship. I could never have even imagined her walking me down. It is traditional in the Jewish religion to have both parents give me away. I would be heartbroken to have to tell my mom that she cannot walk me down the aisle because my dad is acting like a child. If he won't budge on this, I will unfortunately choose to walk down the aisle alone.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. My parents are also divorced. My mom is remarried and my step dad has been wonderful to me. So I wanted my dad and step dad to walk me down the aisle. When I discussed this with my dad he took it better than I imagined. The day is supposed to be about you and what makes you happy. Hopefully your dad will come to realize this so you can have both parents walk you down the aisle. Like you said he is not escorting your mom, he is walking you down the aisle. Hopefully he can't get over his selfishness before he misses a big step in your life.

He is TOTALLY missing the point. I like Karebear's suggestion; maybe part way?

Talk to him; make sure that you let him know that you understand his concern about your step mother and that you are willing to honor her since it seems like that is his concern (seems like he thinks walking without her is disrespecting her place in HIS life -- a concern that misses the point entirely but whatever, it has to be addressed if he is stubborn.)

If he won't budge, you will have other decisions to make. Keep us posted. Be flexible. Take lots of deep breaths.

It is really a shame when the parents can't get it together for one day for their kid. Sorry you are going through this. I like the half-way suggestion if he is not budging on walking you down with your mom.

Sorry you're dad is being so unreasonable. I'd probably be a bitch and respond by saying "Fine, you don't have to walk me down the aisle. Mom can do it all by herself.'

It's sad that your dad can't put whatever issues he has with your mom aside for one day.

I haven't read all the comments but my parents have been divorced for 29 years and I say have just your Dad or just your Mom walk you down the ilse. Whoever you are closer to. I know my Mom would see red if I let my step mother walk down the isle in any way shape or form ( however my step mom passed away about 2 years ago).

Fine July 4th Greetings,

I agree with everyone, in that he is not being reasonable. That is not your Step Mom's place and I really like your Processional idea.

I am SO sorry to read this scenario. Sigh... Honestly, rather than continuing to plead with him, just make your decision -- today -- so that this isn't a continuing upset for you. **Don't let him have that power over you, or allow him to upset you. He is not being reasonable. Please move forward, make your decision, and don't look back.**

All the best to you! Most Sincerely, Michele, Jersey Shore

This is over the top out of line. If probably tell him to kma, but that wouldn't be the most polite way of going about it the decision is yours. I've seen a lot of bride's on here have relatives get reasonable once the relative realize they would not give him don't give in it's your walking down the aisle if he refuse to go down the aisle because of step mom that is his choice not yours

Wow I'm so sorry you're going through this. My first wedding 11 years ago, both my parents walked me down the aisle and they HATED eachother. No joke. So I agree with everyone on here. I think he's missing the point. This go around, with my Mum passed away and my Pop and I don't have a close relationship, he's not walking me this time.

He can walk his wife down the aisle and then come back to walk you WITH your mom.

Has your Dad ever been to a wedding before to understand how it works? What a moron!! Sorry--I know that's not particularly helpful, but just wanted to add my support for your side. Even if his position made any logical sense, it's pretty shitty for him to give you an ultimatum like that. . .

I feel like he is being selfish. My father is up my step-moms butt as well and maybe this was her idea. Not trying to sound rude, but this totally hit home because my father is like this. Do you have someone to walk your mom down the aisle? Because maybe she can be escorted and then just your dad walks you down the aisle...that is what i usually see.

Karley-- that is true for Christian ceremonies, but given that there will be a chuppah, I'm assuming this will be a Jewish ceremony, in which case it is most common to see both of the bride's parents walking her, and both of the groom's parents walking him. . .

He's being ridiculous. I'm long divorced from my ex-husband, and have remarried. But when my son was married, my ex-husband and I both walked him down the aisle, and my wife sat in the audience. The ex and I are still his biological parents, regardless of the relationship between us.

I totally understand - I am in a VERY similar situation right now. Your dad needs to understand that this is your wedding. Any alterations or history with your mother should be set aside for the day. He should really be viewing her as his daughter's mother, not his ex-wife. I asked both my mom and dad to give me away because they split when I was 10 and my mom raised me more than my dad did (due to the custody situation). My dad wasn't very happy with my decision because he and my mom haven't been civil, but BECAUSE of the wedding, they set their differences aside (after LOTS of mediating and frustration).

My husband passed away and my daughter wants to have someone walk her down the aisle that was physically inappropriate to me after my husband passed


I feel very disrespected and used financially by her..:she knows this occurred and was there when it happened.. she refuses to let me walk her down the aisle. It is her wedding but I am so hurt and feel so like nothing to her but just a source of money😪
Am I wrong feeling this Way😪