"volunteers" at your wedding?

View Quoted Comment You can't dictate what someone does or doesn't do. You can request but that's as far as it goes. I see a lot of people turning around and missing your ceremony without thinking twice.

If I showed up at a wedding and was told I need to check my cell phone I would turn around and leave. Your guests are adults, they know how to handle themselves and do not need to be treated like children. You have no idea what is going on in their life and why they may need to keep their phone on them. It is so disrespectful to your guests to make them hand over their phone as if they are a bunch of school children who do not know how to behave. Also, are you prepared pay for replacement phones if a guest's phone goes missing or is broken while checked?

Lol “shade”. Just because your idea is awful doesn’t mean we’re throwing shade.

As plenty of others have mentioned, just skip the cell phone check. No one is going to hand over their phone and it’s flat out rude of you to treat your guests like children.

For the volunteer thing, do not ask friends who aren’t close enough to you to get an invite to work your wedding. That’s incredibly insulting. Hire someone to do it. You can probably find a teenager or college student to do it for $10/hour.

People say say they want to help to be nice and maybe some people do want to help with fun stuff. I don’t think any of your friends want to stand by your makeshift photo booth watching everyone else have fun, especially for no money.

People aren’t throwing shade here, they’re trying to help you to not be rude and piss off your guests.

If I arrived at a wedding that tried to do that I would either keep my phone or leave. No wedding is important enough to give up my personal property.

I’m disappointed that so many people are dumping on your cell phone policy - I want to give you a little bit of grace. While I understand your thinking on the cell phone policy, OP, I strongly encourage you to trust your guests a little more. Trust that they’re at your wedding to be with you and not their screens.

Separately - wedding wire forums are helpful, insightful and at their best inspirational and encouraging. But I really wish we could find a way to see one of our own, OP, in the best light possible. She had an idea, it’s clear to her now that it’s a put off for a lot of people. But blowing up the chain with the same opinion twelve ways to Sunday isn’t helpful either. If your opinion has been stated more than 3-4 times - move on or say something that has been said already. Otherwise we’re not helping each other, we’re ganging up on people, which is not the point of the forum. We are the only ones with the ability to make this space as inclusive, welcoming, and when needed forgiving. Give each other grace. And make this space feel joyful, even when you disagree or have a different idea.

No one is throwing shade. Everyone is simply pointing out how immature your phone check idea is. If I arrived at a wedding and was told to give up my cell phone I would either:

1. Say no and then sit my happy bum down anyway; or

2. Turn around and take my three figure money gift with me and think what a diva you are as I am enjoying a nice dinner and glass of wine with what would have been your wedding money.

Definitely agree that there should not be a cell phone check.

Have a great day!!

Just saying, I wouldn't even put my phone away for Beyonce. I just don't see whats the big deal with her.

What could happen? In the let’s say 45 minutes between them taking my phone and giving it back, one of my children could need to be sent to the hospital and I could need to leave immediately. Is it likely? Probably not. It could still happen though. There are also people who work jobs that REQUIRE them to be on call, meaning if they don’t answer for work for 45 minutes even on a “day off”, they can be fired.

It's not that we can't be without our cell phones and that we use them all the time even at weddings. It's that some are parents and need to have that tie to their children. It's that some, like H and I, must have them for work purposes if we are on call. How should H and I tell the hospital that we didn't get the call for an hour to come in for an emergency surgery because the couple required we give up our cell phones? Would you like to be that patient who didn't get surgery as quickly as possible? It's that many spend hundreds and hundreds on a piece of personal property. Would you be willing to put your engagement or wedding ring in a locked cabinet at a wedding just because a couple asked you to? How would that be any different?

I would not be happy with a cell phone check.