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COLO92218
Beginner September 2018

"volunteers" at your wedding?

COLO92218, on July 13, 2018 at 3:57 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 53

Hi all! I have a few things at my wedding that I need to employ help with. One of them is a 'cell phone check' where our guests will check their cell phones and get a tag (similar to coat check). The phones will be kept in a chest and monitored at all times. The second is a photo booth. The photo...

Hi all!

I have a few things at my wedding that I need to employ help with. One of them is a 'cell phone check' where our guests will check their cell phones and get a tag (similar to coat check). The phones will be kept in a chest and monitored at all times. The second is a photo booth. The photo booth is all our own equipment (we're both photographers), and I just want to make sure that no one messes it up too bad, and that there's someone there to assist people.

I had some friends ask me "let me know if you need any help for your wedding" that are not invited, and i literally just want to ask them "will you check cell phones for me".

Is that something that's even cool to do? All my friends know that we are limited on space and stuff so they're pretty aware that I would invite them if i could, but I also don't want to ask them to do something and spend the whole night bored.

Alternatively could I pay someone from the catering company to do these things?

53 Comments

  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I normally try to understand that everyone has different ideas and opinions, and accept that a couple should have the wedding of their dreams. However, I would be very put off if someone tried to check my phone. My FH, who cannot, under any circumstances, have his phone during work so is very used to not being able to have it, says he would prefer to have someone tell him to leave it in his car. His words were along the lines of not wanting someone else to put hands on it. Phones are very personal.
  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
    • Flag

    I know this isn't the point of your post but noooooooo at the cell phone check. Literally read that and out loud went "noooooo way." That is taking it a little too far, I am not sure I would give up my phone just out of principle. You are treating your guests like children that can't follow a rule...and to ask people who have children or any sort of person depending on them to be utterly unreachable is really not OK. To also ask someone to take on this role that will certainly be confrontational and gain a lot of negative reactions is a big ask, especially since you didn't even invite them to the wedding.

  • Can’t wait for the date
    Savvy April 2019
    Can’t wait for the date ·
    • Flag
    I would not be comfortable giving up my cell phone and would refuse to do so. I’m respectful enough to not take photos during someone’s ceremony, especially if they’ve specifically requested guests not to. I would also be offended by not being invited to your wedding but then asked to work it. It’s ok to just not include people in your wedding, no one wants a consolation job.
  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah, I feel the guests who would hand it over would do it with an eye roll and say something like "who does she think she is, Beyonce?"...

  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    What if there is an emergency and someone doesn't know about it because they don't have their cell phone?

    A "cell phone check" would offend me. Trust your guests to follow an unplugged ceremony rule and have a sign... we didn't even have an "unplugged" ceremony and I didn't notice anyone with their phones out during the ceremony.

    What is your reasoning for such strict restrictions? (NO CELL PHONES)

  • COLO92218
    Beginner September 2018
    COLO92218 ·
    • Flag

    Whoa guys, stop with the shade. We all have our own feelings on things but you don't need to be so shady about my ideas.


  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    But if this many people feel so strongly about it, don’t you think your guests will too?
  • emcknight1517
    Super April 2018
    emcknight1517 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    We're not being shady. We're being pretty clear about what we think. We're honestly trying to help you.

  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    Agree with others. I'm sorry, I didn't finish your post because I had to come here and tell you what a bad idea a cell phone check is.

    Why do you feel it's necessary? There could be an emergency and that person would not know because they didn't have their phone.

    What if somehow, at the end, someone's phone went missing? Guess who is suddenly liable? You are.

    People come to a wedding not expecting to have to "check in" their phones, even if you aren't forcing it, it's still unnecessary. People will put them in their purses or pockets like any other time they don't have their phones out.

    If you want an unplugged ceremony, make a sign or have the officiant announce it.


    As for the photo booth attendant, I would just hire someone and pay them, or hire a professional. I'd advise against asking a friend who is not invited against this unless you do decide to pay them for their time.

  • Ellebt
    Dedicated June 2019
    Ellebt ·
    • Flag
    I'm always a very easy to please guest but I have to agree with everyone else about the cell phone check. Honestly, if the person's in charge of the cell phone check drops a phone and cracks the screen, will you be paying for the screen replacement? I think it's just too much of a liability headache on your wedding day.
  • Jade
    Savvy August 2019
    Jade ·
    • Flag

    Will you be including the "cell phone check" on your invitation? I wouldn't be happy is I showed up and had this sprung on me. Also I have 2 small children that would likely not be with me and refuse to had over my only means of contact to them.

  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    No one is being shady. They are being honest about your shady idea. There is a difference.
  • COLO92218
    Beginner September 2018
    COLO92218 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Our invitation says that our ceremony (not the reception) is cell phone free. They will literally be without their phones for 20 minutes.

  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Are you going to pay for replacements if any of the phones get stolen or damaged?
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    Anything can happen in 20 minutes. And actually, most guests arrive to a ceremony early, usually about 30 minutes before, so they would be without their phone for nearly an hour. This is not a good idea and doesn't even make sense. What possible rational led you to this decision?

    As far as the photo booth, PPs have brought up good points about liability related to your equipment and feeding the volunteers who watch your equipment. I would hire a company to take care of this.

  • Jade
    Savvy August 2019
    Jade ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Your original post did not specify ceremony only. I still think letting people know you're ceremony is unplugged is better than confiscating phones.
  • J
    Devoted August 2018
    Jillian ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I still wouldnt do it though.
    1. Itd take longer to check them in and out than the actual ceremony
    2. Your poor volunteers would probably get some crap from guests about it.
    I personally have medical reasons where I MUST have my phone. Be considerate of your guests.
    We're having an unplugged ceremony as well, but will have a sign.
    The catering company probs wouldnt do it because it is unrelated to their services. Hire a photo booth company. Or see if your DJ also has the service, i know mine does.
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    What is your reason for it being cell phone free? I guarantee it’s not the venue’s rule.
  • Mandi
    VIP May 2016
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    20 minutes doesn't matter, there is no way I would give up my phone. As said before, your guests are adults and can handle themselves appropriately with an announcement and a sign.

    If you ask an uninvited friend to man the photo booth, I would pay them something for their time.

  • FutureMrsR
    Dedicated October 2018
    FutureMrsR ·
    • Flag

    I don't want to sound harsh as I know you think this is a good idea but if I were to go to a wedding where a stranger tried to confiscate my phone when I walked in I would absolutely refuse... cell phones are expensive and have so much personal information on them nowadays... I don't think you would be able to enforce that rule and I think you would just offend and irritate all of your guests.... Is that really worth it?

    You won't be able to control everything. Just have the officiant politely ask that people keep their cell phones off or on silent for the duration of the ceremony.

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