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Samantha
Beginner November 2023

Venues asking what you ultimately chose for their records?

Samantha, on February 24, 2022 at 10:00 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

For a little context, I had a tour scheduled with a venue that I ended up letting know I had to cancel because we booked another venue (yay!). This other venue wished us the best, but then asked if we would let them know what we picked for their files. Is this normal? I might be overreacting, but it just felt like an odd thing to ask to keep in their records.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on February 25, 2022 at 10:22 AM
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    A lot of times, it is just insight into what they need to improve on.

    Maybe the price was too high, maybe the location was too far from where the majority of your guests are, maybe the venue didn't fit your vision of getting married on a tropical cliffside, maybe , maybe it seemed too plain, maybe the place didn't have AC and you are getting married in June.

    I think if you can be constructive, it might actually really help them. I would do it if you had a good experience there, but just decided it wasn't the right fit for you. But if you had a poor experience, you can also be constructive that way, but you don't have to.

    If you want to reply and not tell them "I don't feel comfortable sharing that information with you," or just don't respond at all.

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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    If they’re just asking for feedback on why you went a different route then that’s normal. A photographer asked us why we chose someone else instead of them, very respectful and just wanted constructive feedback and really the only reason was price. But he didn’t ask who we chose instead. If that’s what they’re asking then that’s strange and frankly none of their business.
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  • Samantha
    Beginner November 2023
    Samantha ·
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    We actually didn't even go on the tour. She e-mailed to get in touch to set up a date for one, and I let her know we recently booked with another venue. All I had seen of the place was pictures, and while the ceremony site was lovely, I thought the reception area looked like a finished basement and was just not what I envisioned, but again these were all assumptions from pictures of the place. I just thought it was a weird thing to ask, but I get it if it can be constructive for them.

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    They probably just want to know who their main competition is. If you were interested in them, then who did they ultimately lose your business to for competitive benchmarking purposes. You certainly don't have any obligation to share if you don't want to, but it seems pretty harmless.

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  • Samantha
    Beginner November 2023
    Samantha ·
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    Ah, I see. Thanks!

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  • Kristen
    Expert October 2021
    Kristen ·
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    I had a couple of our other potential venues ask me which one we chose in the end. They didn't necessarily say "for their records", but rather "just out of curiosity". I also had other officiants we'd interviewed ask who we chose in the end.

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  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
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    I think it's a smart business practice. They want to know what couples are choosing over them, whether it's something in the same price range or not, or if they offer different features, etc. Don't take it personal. You can certainly say you'd rather not answer if you're concerned.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    What would they possibly do with the information? Business owners have countless networking resources at their disposal so they are aware of the competition, if any. It is not your responsibility as a potential client/customer to give the name of the competition if you decide to go with someone else. Now there are shady vendors who do stalk their competitors and post slanderous fake “reviews” but that is not prevalent.


    I see that as a red flag personally because that is none of their business.
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  • A
    Savvy October 2022
    Angela ·
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    Same here, with a florist as interviewed. I find it distasteful for a vendor to ask who you hired.
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  • Samantha
    Just Said Yes February 2023
    Samantha ·
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    This is definitely normal! a lot of venues need to explain why a tour cancels and it is always helpful to see where couples select!

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