Venue

I think this really has to be up to you and your FS. If you both want a larger wedding with everyone invited, I would rent a venue. If you’re both comfortable with a smaller guest list, take your mom up on her offer. Keep in mind though that a backyard wedding doesn’t always save money because you’ll have to rent tables/chairs, a tent, and possibly a bathroom trailer just to equal what a venue typically offers.

I would recommend renting a venue. It sounds like your mom is already putting conditions on allowing you to use the land so I would be considered what other conditions she may come up with. Like the previous poster mentioned, having a backyard wedding doesn't necessarily save money since you are creating a venue from scratch. My sister-in-law had her wedding in her backyard and it cost the same if not more than renting a venue because she had to rent everything from tables to chairs to tents to a dance floor. The costs added up really quickly.

If I were in your situation, I would rent a venue. Not only will it be able to hold all your guests (thus not necessitating the difficult process of choosing who to cut), but it will also likely save you a lot of issues down the road. It sounds like your mother thought it would be a fun idea to host your wedding in her new home, but really had no idea what she was getting into. If there are already complications with the very first step, I have a feeling there will be many more if you have your wedding on her property. And the last thing you want to do is be in constant arguments with your mother, or constantly having to change your vision to accommodate her. Not to mention, because it is a blank slate, you will have to rent and bring in EVERYTHING (tables, chairs, linens, silverware, plates, tent for inclement weather, etc.), and each one of these vendors are going to be traipsing through her house and yard. Whereas, if you went with a venue, many items will be provided in-house- so you wouldn’t have to worry about finding and paying extra vendors, or people destroying anything on your mother’s property.

Chances are you won’t save money having it there - you’ll need so much infrastructure that comes with a venue that isn’t part of the standard big yard. Shelter, bathrooms, safe food storage - people do it all the time but it isn’t a budget saver, that’s for sure!
Go with an affordable venue.

My brother voluntold my mom that he was having his 100-person wedding in her backyard. It was SO MUCH work and stress for her, and for the rest of the immediate family, that none of us (barring the bride and groom who didn't help at all) have any good memories of that wedding.

I would respect your mom's gut feeling that this is too much for her and find another venue.

As someone who is currently doing a backyard reception, I'd also recommend finding an affordable venue. It's a LOT of work and not for the faint-hearted. You're also not going to be saving that much money. For example, my in-laws requested that no one come inside the house and use the bathroom during the reception. Personally, I wouldn't want drunk people trampling through my nice home either. Renting two luxury port-a-potties (single stall) was about $700.

I am going to be the odd woman out here and say go for the backyard wedding! As long as you are hiring a caterer, tent/rentals, ect it should be minimum work weekend of. Obviously you need to have your moms blessing, you can't force it. But it is totally possible!

I am getting married at my childhood home in June. We have hired a caterer, baker, florist, band, event rentals (tent, tables, chairs, linens, bathrooms) and are looking to stay within our $15k budget. We have done a lot of spring landscaping ourselves (weeding, grassed, all that jazz), and we will be doing the decorating ourselves in the days leading up. My family and wedding party will be lending a hand where they can as well. To me, all this work leading up to it is saving me a lot of money and a lot of headache. I don't have to be limited by a venues vendor requirements, minimums, or extra costs. Plus it's always been my dream to get married there.

After speaking to my mom recently, she is excited to be "hosting" a party without the stress of being the host. The house will be off limits but I can't imagine why anyone would need to be in there anyway!

Specs:

-100 guests

-local restaurant is catering

-gardens/farm is about 3 acres and we will have decor, games, and seating spread throughout

Rent a venue. You will still have conditions to follow but no chance of a relationship falling out potential with a business contract. This is your and fiance's day that you only get once so don't please others or you will go crazy and be unhappy wanting something else.

Take a look at the local parks department's venue rentals and eventective.com specific to venues that allow you to bring in your own licensed catering.