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Just Said Yes October 2020

Venue owner asked me to reschedule my date for a party??

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Kristen, on October 26, 2019 at 7:11 PM

So I have booked my wedding for October 31st 2020. It is a lovely venue and I'm sooo in love with it! I've also paid my deposit, and booked my photographer and paid that deposit, and told the caterer as well. No deposit has been paid to the caterer yet, as my mom works for them and they're giving me a discount lol. I specifically picked this date for the Halloween aspect. Which may be childish to some but 🤷‍♀️ I freaking love halloween. The owner/operator of the venue called me tonight, and said a cancer fundraiser wants to book a party for the last saturday in october again for 2020. She asked if I would be willing to move my date to either the weekend before or after. I told her I would get back to her tomorrow, as I am watching my niece and nephew currently. This seems...unprofessional to me. And now I'm filled with serious anxiety. I already know my photographer wont be available the weekend before or after, so I'd have to push it farther out. But saying no would make me feel like an ass. I mean, a damn cancer fundraiser!? She is putting this on me. Why would she even tell them she would talk with the bride?? Now I will look awful if I say no. But I dont want to say yes either. I get that it's a year away, and i have time, but I specifically booked the people that I did, on the date I did, and paid them money for a reason. It's really not even about Halloween in general. I could get over not getting married on Halloween. I cant get over not being able to use the amazing photographer I paid for, and missing out on that money I paid a deposit for. I'm just so stressed out and annoyed now! Was this wrong for her to do or am I just being a jerk?

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60 Comments

Expert May 2021
· on October 27, 2019 at 3:12 PM
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I just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. The cancer foundation had a party there LAST NIGHT and asked the venue if they could book their party again there NEXT year? Now they’re asking you, who already has a deposit down for that day to reschedule your wedding? Absolutely NOT. How unprofessional is that? They could have easily said, “We have a wedding booked for 2020 but the weekend before and after are available for your event.” If they wanted to book the other event THAT badly the venue could have even offered them a discount to take the other date. Geeze. I can’t even wrap my head around that. I realize it’s a cancer event but I’m sure if given a years notice they could move their event by 7 days. It sounds like the venue has already tentatively promised that date to them.
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Expert February 2021
Reena · on October 27, 2019 at 3:19 PM
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I would say no. I would explain that you already booked other vendors and they can’t move their dates.
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Expert October 2021
Sarah · on October 27, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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Honestly you reserved and paid for the venue first. It is yours. Don’t let it bother you. Let your venue know that you are keeping your wedding date. The Cancer fundraiser, the people running the fundraiser should have booked the place even more in advance if they wanted to make sure they got that venue for that date.
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Dedicated September 2021
Kelli · on October 27, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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The cancer fundraiser can be either the weekend before or after. You already chose it and paid for it. That's their bad, it's not your problem.
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Devoted August 2018
Kristin · on October 27, 2019 at 5:08 PM
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I work for a nonprofit that has two main fundraisers each year. Several months ago when we tried to book our regular time for our fall fundraiser (the third Thursday), our normal venue was already booked for that date. So we had it the day before. None of our patrons even noticed and it was still highly successful. If they try to pull the Halloween card on you, tell them Halloween themed parties start about mid-October anyway. In the end, nonprofits are businesses. Don’t let the cause make you feel guilty. They’ll be fine.
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Super May 2020
Andrea · on October 27, 2019 at 5:09 PM
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I would be so turned off by that I’d ask for out of my contract and pick a different venue. That’s absolutely bs. She’s put you in a place to not be able to say “no”. The cancer fundraiser can’t move? They obviously weren’t booked or she f’d up. But then it’s cancer and you look like a jerk for sure. Not fair to you at all. Keep your date, and all the other vendors you have set and change the venue. Man, I would be furious, that’s so unfair to you. I definitely wouldn’t want to work with them anymore
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Just Said Yes December 2022
Tadiana · on October 27, 2019 at 5:17 PM
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It’s your big day.. you’re not a jerk for saying no at all! That’s messed up they would even ask you to move your date and try to put that guilt on you! The fundraiser could do a different day
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Just Said Yes October 2020
Kristen · on October 27, 2019 at 6:13 PM
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My husband really wanted to get married here, because it wasnt always a wedding venue, it was a type of factory or mill or something prior and his grandfather who passed past year worked there in the 50s.
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Just Said Yes October 2020
Kristen · on October 27, 2019 at 6:13 PM
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Well, future husband lol
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Savvy August 2019
Danielle · on October 27, 2019 at 6:24 PM
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Nope you have a contract if he breaks it that’s on the venue!!. do not change your date under no circumstances !!
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Super May 2020
Andrea · on October 27, 2019 at 7:14 PM
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Oh wow that makes a huge difference. I would go back to to them and say that’s not ok, and if it’s important to them for you to change dates then you expect some type of incentives. Then either you get your date or you get a discount. That is so so messed up for them to ask you that, but if that’s tour venue you need to make it work. But they need to absolutely know that’s not ok and think that you will walk away. You have a signed contact, they can’t change that. And if they want to they need to offer you something.
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on October 27, 2019 at 7:49 PM
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I agree with everyone else. Say no. You have a signed contract with a deposit down, which is reason enough. As others have mentioned, you can just tell them you already have other vendors booked with deposit who cannot change the date if you’re anxious about an outright No. I get it, I have anxiety too! You are not a jerk whatsoever for not accommodating. This is your WEDDING. A fundraiser can easily find another date or location. I’d be really put off by this. They wouldn’t ask another bride to change the date for someone else’s wedding, right? They should not have even asked. I’m mad for you lol.
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Expert October 2019
Kimberly · on October 27, 2019 at 8:23 PM
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Tell them no. They should have told the fundraiser when they asked that the date was unavailable. It's not your error, it's there's. Nobody would fault you for saying no. If the date was booked that should be the end of the discussion. Any other venue wouldn't be asking you to switch, they would have told the organization I'm sorry that date is unavailable.
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VIP November 2016
Tara · on October 28, 2019 at 9:21 AM
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Don't feel bad! It's your big day and you booked it this far in advance for a reason, to ensure you get the date you want. I'm wondering why they can't have the fundraiser the day after or before your wedding? I do agree it's unprofessional on their part for even asking you to begin with! Just explain to the venue that you put the deposit down for that date for a reason and your photographer is booked every weekend except the date you've already picked and so is your caterer.
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on October 28, 2019 at 9:31 AM
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So sorry this is happening to you. I would tell them no, you're unable to change the date. Hopefully they'll understand. It's really rude of them to give you date (as it was available), you've paid and booked other vendors to work on this date just for the wedding venue to tell you to switch your date for a fundraiser. The fact they even had the NERVE to ask is beyond me. It's the venue that should have told the fundraiser organizers that the particular evening they want is already booked. YOU shouldn't have to accommodate for anyone. It's not fair and it's not right. I hope everything works out for you. But I would honestly tell them no, you're not able to change the date.
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VIP November 2019
Catherine · on October 28, 2019 at 9:38 AM
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I don't think you're being a jerk. Its kind of a first come first serve industry. I don't feel you should change your date. IF and only IF you are willing to - would you perhaps consider changing to Friday or Sunday that same weekend? I would first talk to your vendors and see what can be done. If they cant change then that is not your fault. The fundraiser will just have to adjust their date. Don't feel guilty AT ALL in whatever you choose!
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Coty · on October 28, 2019 at 9:39 AM
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I wouldn’t feel bad about saying no! First come first serve. A fundraiser isn’t more important than your wedding day. It’s very unprofessional of them to ask you. They might as well of said hey we want to make more money so can you move your wedding so we can be guaranteed both parties. I’m sure the fundraiser can find another venue.
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Dedicated October 2021
Millicent · on October 28, 2019 at 10:15 AM
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They were happy to book you in. It is more than fair for you to hold your ground and say no, you aren't going to reschedule the date.
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Dedicated October 2019
M · on October 28, 2019 at 10:27 AM
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Nope! You paid money for that date. You shouldn’t feel bad for that. It’s not right of them to mention it being a cancer fundraiser because it was only brought up to guilt you. Had they just said “a party” your decision would’ve been an easy no. Shame on them. Keep your date and venue. If you really feel guilty, make a donation to the nonprofit but don’t allow this venue to guilt you. It’s a business at the end of the day and while they may say it’s for fundraising, they’re thinking of all the new local people coming in for that fundraiser being future customers. Unfortunate of me to immediately think that but I really don’t like that they would guilt a bride to change a day she already paid for.
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Super August 2020
Alex · on October 28, 2019 at 11:32 AM
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Say no. It's your day. You can be selfish!
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