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Just Said Yes October 2020

Venue owner asked me to reschedule my date for a party??

Kristen, on October 26, 2019 at 7:11 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 60

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So I have booked my wedding for October 31st 2020. It is a lovely venue and I'm sooo in love with it! I've also paid my deposit, and booked my photographer and paid that deposit, and told the caterer as well. No deposit has been paid to the caterer yet, as my mom works for them and they're giving me a discount lol. I specifically picked this date for the Halloween aspect. Which may be childish to some but 🤷‍♀️ I freaking love halloween. The owner/operator of the venue called me tonight, and said a cancer fundraiser wants to book a party for the last saturday in october again for 2020. She asked if I would be willing to move my date to either the weekend before or after. I told her I would get back to her tomorrow, as I am watching my niece and nephew currently. This seems...unprofessional to me. And now I'm filled with serious anxiety. I already know my photographer wont be available the weekend before or after, so I'd have to push it farther out. But saying no would make me feel like an ass. I mean, a damn cancer fundraiser!? She is putting this on me. Why would she even tell them she would talk with the bride?? Now I will look awful if I say no. But I dont want to say yes either. I get that it's a year away, and i have time, but I specifically booked the people that I did, on the date I did, and paid them money for a reason. It's really not even about Halloween in general. I could get over not getting married on Halloween. I cant get over not being able to use the amazing photographer I paid for, and missing out on that money I paid a deposit for. I'm just so stressed out and annoyed now! Was this wrong for her to do or am I just being a jerk?

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60 Comments

Latest activity by Alex, on October 28, 2019 at 11:32 AM

Expert September 2020
Marcia · on October 26, 2019 at 7:16 PM
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If they let you book the date then the error is their fault. You are under no obligation to change your date. If the date matters to you, say no. The venue should not under any circumstances give your name to anyone so no one will know who said no.

good luck!
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Just Said Yes October 2020
Kristen · on October 26, 2019 at 7:18 PM
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The party was tonight, and I booked my date about 2 months ago. So they only even asked tonight If they could have the date.
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Savvy December 2019
Kayla · on October 26, 2019 at 7:20 PM
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I would say if you are not too attached to the venue you booked. Ask her if she would refund you your deposit to allow that date to become available . You are a year out so you have time to find another venue if you weren't too hung up on this one, because chances are a business that would even think it is okay to do this is a business you don't want to work with anyway . She could be upset if you say no no and possibly try to sabotage your day because they lossed out on so much money( I understand this is highly unlikely. Just saying though)
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Just Said Yes October 2020
Kristen · on October 26, 2019 at 7:24 PM
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My husband really wanted to get married here. It's didn't use to be a wedding venue, it was some type of mill before. His grandfather passed last year, and he wanted this place because his grandfather worked there in his younger years.
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Savvy December 2019
Kayla · on October 26, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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Then you should definitely stand your ground . That is very important to him and shouldn't be compromised because of incompetent business decisions. You booked your venue within Enough time that she could have brought this up to you sooner or not have allowed you to book that date in the first place if she thought she could potentially have a charity that was interested . Fight for what you want and look at it as just business. You should not feel bad for thinking about you on your big day .
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VIP May 2020
Destiny · on October 26, 2019 at 7:45 PM
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Tell them no. you booked first the cancer fundraiser can be booked on a sunday or friday. if this is the first year its not like this is a regular thing for them. you she most deffinitly not feel like an ass for wanting to keep your date and the location you want. stand your ground and dont let them try to guilt trip you on it
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on October 26, 2019 at 7:52 PM
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Tell them no. They have no reason to make you feel bad, what she said is completely unprofessional and uncalled for. I would be upset and actually talk to the owner of the place because of this. Do not change your date. They can have the cancer fundraiser a different day.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on October 26, 2019 at 7:57 PM
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Absolutely not. You signed a contract and paid your deposit. The venue is yours for the night. The cancer kids can find somewhere else. There is a ton of places they can go, so it’s not really a huge problem for them to go elsewhere. Sounds to me they waited to see how happy they were with this years party to book next years. That’s their fault, not yours. Tell them after thinking it over you and your fiancé have decided you want to keep your date and will not be canceling your contracted date.
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Devoted April 2020
Rhianna · on October 26, 2019 at 8:03 PM
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They're running a business and wanted to see if they can make it work for a repeat client. Yeah it happens, but you booked the date first and that doesn't mean you're obligated to move your wedding. The fundraiser can book the same venue on a date they have available if they really wanted to host their event there again. Simply tell them you have other vendors booked, confirmed, and deposits paid that you won't be able to move and also that this date is special to you (even if it's not, they don't have to know that).

However, if you did move the date and stuck with the same venue, I suggest you should see what you can get off/discounted in addition to the standard concessions for doing them a favor. Also before committing to change make sure your other vendors will move the date at no penalty or are even available.
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Beginner November 2019
Keni · on October 26, 2019 at 9:03 PM
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You already paid your deposit, I would not give up your date. That is very unfair of them to ask you and by trying to guilt you into it. You booked that date first. The other party needs to change their date.
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August 2022
Da Mom · on October 26, 2019 at 9:23 PM
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They’re just asking. If you don’t want to change your date then don’t feel bad saying no.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on October 26, 2019 at 10:13 PM
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That would be a hard pass for me! You've already paid several vendors and don't want to lose them. They can have the fundraiser another night, it's not like they cant have it ever if you say no to moving your date.
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Devoted December 2019
Stefanie · on October 26, 2019 at 10:27 PM
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I would say no! If they wanted that date they should have planned accordingly and you shouldn’t feel bad! It’s not the only venue in the world and I’m sure they can make it work, it’s totally unethical and unprofessional to even call you!
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Devoted September 2020
Mandee · on October 26, 2019 at 10:30 PM
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As a cancer patient, I would be furious if I found out that the venue put pressure on a Bride to changer her wedding date for a fundraiser! Stand your ground and tell them no! And DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT!!!
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Savvy October 2020
Rosa · on October 26, 2019 at 10:30 PM
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You should just be honest and said your photographer is not available for either date so the answer is NO.

You have a sign contact
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Dedicated 0000
Springbride · on October 26, 2019 at 10:36 PM
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Ive heard of people asking to be compensated in similar situations (others conversations on ww) (could you get a discount if you change the date or something along those lines?) If you and FH don't want to change the date or give up your photographer then you should have your amazing Halloween wedding at the venue you have put a deposit on and have a contract with. you booked first and the fundraiser will have to be a different day or different venue and you should not feel bad about it.
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Master 0000
Judith · on October 26, 2019 at 10:55 PM
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In business, it is fair for them to ask, and they must accept it if you say no. People will give money to a charity for cancer on some other day than Halloween. Do what you want, just do it promptly.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on October 26, 2019 at 11:41 PM
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I agree with PPs. Don't give up your date if you really want to keep it!
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Master December 2020
Amanda · on October 27, 2019 at 12:31 AM
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No because your photographer won't be available and you envisions halloween for your wedding date. Thats their fault and a fundraiser can be anyday
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on October 27, 2019 at 12:33 AM
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I cannot believe they asked you that. No. Just no. Don't feel guilty. A fundraiser is much more flexible than a wedding. You already have vendors booked.
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