Venue ideas? How to cut guest lists? Plus ones!

I did plus ones for people in relationships that we knew of. I felt like if we gave every single person a plus one that there would be a lot of randoms and we only want to share our special moment with close friends and family.

I feel that way too! He’s like idk who’s gonna want to go to a wedding without a date...they will. Bc they’re our friends. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Plus ones are for single guests, not those in relationships. Anyone in a relationship should be invited by name with their significant other. We only gave plus ones to single guests who wouldn't know at least a few other people at the wedding, besides us. I wouldn't want anyone to be alone or have no one to socialize with.

As far as venues, maybe you could try barn style venues, local parks, or VFW halls.

Without knowing your guest list, it's difficult to know who can be cut. If it wasn't someone that we would invite to our home for dinner, we didn't invite them. That eliminated most of our coworkers. We also didn't invite anyone that we hadn't seen in the last year, that excluded a lot of old friends and distant relatives.

I agree with you on this one! FH and I both have plenty of single guests who are just attending with other friends that they'll know at the wedding, and some who are just coming alone not knowing anyone else! I really don't think it's necessary to give everyone a plus one. We didn't give anyone a plus one (we invited everyone's SOs though if they were in a relationship) and nobody even asked about it, or seemed to care at all. Personally we did it only half out of a desire to keep down the guest list and budget. The other half of our motivation was just because I really don't want strangers at my wedding lol. I think only one of my friends is bringing a boyfriend who I have never met before... but I feel like he's less of a "stranger" because even though we haven't met, he's been dating my friend for a year. That feels very different to me than if someone were to just bring "a date," you know?

We invited the significant other for all of my guests that I knew about & they only got an actual +1 if I didn't think they'd feel comfortable going "alone" (I think it only ended up being 1 person and it was actually her BF I didn't know about). Otherwise, my cousins that are single knew other people there so we figured they'd be fine.

I totally get wanting to trim the guest list! Are there any circles you'd feel comfortable not inviting? I.e. invite aunts & uncles but don't invite cousins? Or would making it kid-free make it seem a little more manageable? Not inviting work people? It is so tough & that's why we ended up with just as many people on the list so I'm not much help haha

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This exactly.

I would also suggest for alternate/affordable venues: public parks, gardens, beaches, or any property under the jurisdiction of a city or county. Those places usually don't have restrictions on numbers, and often times are easy to book with a simple permit application and a fee. Try to think outside the traditional box for venues, because a lot of places will be really expensive simply because they are labeled "wedding venue."

For cutting the guest list, we eliminated in a similar way that Caytlyn suggested: anyone we hadn't seen or talked to in a year or more got cut, anyone we wouldn't/didn't socialize with got cut (mostly coworkers). That brought it down a lot, just those two categories. We got lucky in that neither of us has a ton of family, so that didn't blow up the list. The hardest for us was cutting people we considered "friends" but hadn't seen or talked to in a long time. We decided Facebook friends doesn't count. It's not easy to cut the guest list. I think it's been the hardest part of planning so far. But more people means more money, so we had to do it.

Perhaps invite only invite first cousins? Don’t spread it out to 2nd and 3rd.

My FH has second, third, fourth and fifth cousins ISTG! But if we haven't met a significant other (or FB stalked and seen any evidence of a relationship) for those folks in the 8 years we have been dating...they are coming solo. We have gotten some backlash on it, a couple people have asked how they reserve a spot for their date (ummmm...you don't) ...but they are family, they will know family, and if you really feel some sort of way about it, it is what it is, you don't need to come. Like I said, we have been dating for 8 years....and if you haven't taken the time to get to know us, only the cousins are getting the invite.

We are sort of running into the same issue. We would like to skim our guest list a bit but hate to tell people they need to come to a wedding alone. We have decided we will extend plus one's to our wedding party (most won't use them) and to those in relationships. Unfortunately, most of our friends are married/engaged so skimming the list by taking away all plus one's will really only skim down by 5-8 guests. Good Luck!

Congrats on your engagement!
After you've talked about your budget of course go venue searching. This was a long process for us.
Do not underestimate the offerings of parks and rec. I'm not sure what area you live or your budget but after going to 10 venues and contacting 20 or more we decided we couldn't get what we wanted from a more traditional place.
So we chose Quail Ridge Lodge in Wentzville Missouri
They provide chairs and tables and a prep kitchen with huge fridge/freezer and we do the rest. Little more work on our end but we get to have our day our way. Plenty of indoor space, outdoor space, greenery, seats 180, super family friendly, we supply our own alcohol so $$ saved there. Quiet park. Rental is $1000 for the day (9am to 11pm) , no taxes or service fees! Deposit is refundable minus 15%!!

Don't know if this helps but I wish you the best. We initially weren't going to do the DIY route however we want the most fun, slightly upscale, comfortable celebration possible. And no drop ceilings.(any venue with a drop ceiling was an automatic no for me)

I would start with kids- we cut 30 people off our list by doing this.

I am being strict on guest list and plus ones which brought our 150 ct to 80; I made a strict list of people I need/have to invite (close and immediate family and wedding party) then a couple of close friends, thats it. Then plus ones only went to married or long term significant others (all of which I know too) and I made sure my guest list also concisted of people knowing at least one other to convo with eliminating the need for a plus one in general! So my seating/table chart will put everyone in the right groups so they aren't bored and alone and I only have to give a small hangul of plus ones and to maybe 2 strangers!

Anyone in a relationship should definitely be able to bring their significant other, but I don't think guests that are truly single should be able to bring a friend/random date.

For cutting the guest list, cut co-workers first if you were thinking to invite any, then friends you don't see/talk to often. You really won't keep in touch with a ton of friends once you're married, but family will always be family.

A couple late night clubs with beer gardens rent out their buildings where I am. You just have to be out before late night starts. Not sure if that would be an option for you or not.

I gave plus ones to people who were in serious relationships and I removed children and that cut mine down ALOT.

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Yup. Ditto.

Wineries and restaurants are also a good idea - just have to reach out and see what they can do. And there's always the courthouse then backyard/ park/ airbnb.

As for guest list, we started with parents, then siblings, then aunts and uncles, then cousins. We started from closest family and closets friends, and extended until we said that's the budget, stop. I might get in trouble for saying this, but the larger the wedding, you typically see some attrition. I wouldn't budget for that, I would budget for what you invite, but typically 20% of people you invite don't attend. I say that super cautiously b/c it seems like people that invite 20 people have 20 come, but people (like us) that invite 200 have 160 attend.

We also only invited guests by name (i.e. if a guest had a significant other we invited them, but didn't write "and guest"). We did not give "and guest" or plus ones. We only had one person not come b/c they didn't get to bring a friend. That's not always the case but...

Good luck!!

I'd try for a large brewery or barn for the fun ideas you have in mind. You will def cut your guest list down if you don't do a plus one. IMO it's more fun to attend a wedding if you can bring someone with you. If I was invited to a wedding alone, I always declined unless it was super close family.

Only allow people a plus one if they are engaged or in a committed relationship. (like for two or more years) This is what we did and it really helped take the stress off. Also only invite the family members that you have a close relationship with. You do not want a bunch of people around that you hardly even know. This will help you keep your list down to a reasonable size. (at least it did for me)

Best of Luck!

Beach, garden, public parks for venue.
Nobody is getting a plus one at my wedding and I'm not inviting second cousins.
I could but I'm not, if I haven't seen or heard from them in years they're not even invited. If you've never met them I don't see why you'd bother inviting them.

Hey Katie! How is your wedding planning going? Have you made any exciting wedding planning decisions lately?