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Candice
Devoted July 2020

Venue before Date

Candice, on April 14, 2019 at 8:40 AM Posted in Planning 0 18
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So I started venue shopping with a two dates in mind and got shot down by 9/10 venues I visited. I'm down to my top two venues now and just am tired of looking at this point. Venue #1 on my list does not have either date I wanted availible and venue #2 has either open since they will not take reservations for 2020 yet.

The problem is my Maid of Honor hates venue #2 since she has much more sophisticated tastes and she doesn't like that it is partially outdoorsy. She has since suggested rather expensive or just outside my price range or minimum qualifications.

Do I stick to my date and keep looking for venues even though I'm getting overwhelmed or let the venue offer other dates?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Maria, on April 15, 2019 at 3:01 PM
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
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    No one can really tell you which one to decide, it has to be your choice! Is the venue more important to you or the date?
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  • Candice
    Devoted July 2020
    Candice ·
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    I don't know. I'm just bendy about a lot of things. I'm frankly just tried of people asking if I've set a date yet but don't want to set a date and then have to retract it because I'm not able to get a place we like at that time.

    I feel the venue is more important by far since I just picked approximations of the day we started dating as the date we've been asking venues for. We're not really milestone keepers like that. The date isn't going to be the memorable part for us.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    If you really like number 1, I would see what dates they have available if the date really isn't important to you. When my fiance and I were looking for a venue, we just wanted something in either June or July that was a Saturday so we booked the date the venue we loved had available during that time.

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  • Candice
    Devoted July 2020
    Candice ·
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    I liked it when I went with my mom to look at it. We're setting up a date for my and my man to go. He likes the venue on paper but is upset the caterer he likes best isn't allowed to cater there because they cook on site and as a historical site the venue does not allow cooking on the grounds. I'm treating venues like colleges right now #1 is my top but if it doesn't work out #2 is my safety school.
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  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
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    First thing, your MOH should have 0 say in what venue you choose. It is your wedding, not hers. As for the date, I would recommend being flexible if you really prefer one over the other. We toured ours and asked what days they had in September and then chose the date. I would rather have the venue than a specific date.
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  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
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    If you don't need a particular date, definitely look at what is available at your preferred venue and set a date. When we were looking we were pretty sure we wanted a specific date (5 year anniversary), but we were looking pretty early and luckily our date was available. And, just FH and I went on the venue tours. I would not listen to your MOH as this is your wedding. Choose what you love.

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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I would pick a different date for venue 1 or keep looking. It sounds super sketch to me that they won’t accept reservations for 2020. People plan their weddings at least a year out and January 2020 is only in nine months.
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  • A
    Expert August 2019
    Ami ·
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    I'd be more flexible on the dates in order to have the venue you love. Also, your MOH doesn't get a say in your venue, this is between you and FH.
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  • Becca
    Expert July 2019
    Becca ·
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    Is there a reason you are picking a specific date. If this is the case, then go with your gut and find a venue on your date. If you don't have a specific reason behind a date but found a venue you love, I would change my date personally. She doesn't get a say because it isn't her wedding. Weigh out all of the pros and cons. I know you said below that your FH isn't too happy about the caterer. Personally, I would find a venue you like that makes that caterer available, then pick from the dates possible.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I picked a venue before a date. I knew before we even got engaged where I wanted to get married and FH was on board. When we got engaged, we went and sat with them to look at the calendar for the year and then we chose a date they had open. If venue 1 is really special and you love it, I’d be open to a date change. If you could take it or leave it, I’d keep looking at other venues.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    When your maid of honor gets married she chosen her venue the only people who choose your venue is you and your fiancé. I would leave her out of this stage if she chooses to be difficult.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    Yes I am wondering if they are thinking they may close down in 20/20.
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  • Candice
    Devoted July 2020
    Candice ·
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    No they're a state park that mainly does camps but they rent a boat house on the grounds for private events. It's just unusual for people to ask about renting it so much above.
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  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    Venue is everything when you know they mood you want to set for your day. If you are a person who loves trees, sunshine, the sunset, natural beauty, pick a venue that speaks to you. Your MOH can pick her own venue when she gets married.
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  • Candice
    Devoted July 2020
    Candice ·
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    Pretty much she just made me less secure about it.

    I like venue #2 because it's a blank slate we can do whatever we want in on the big day. I don't want some standard wedding venue with a site manager telling me what to do like a lot of the places we looked at were. Venue #1 is less rustic but also lets you do whatever for the most part its just a historical landmark so they don't let you have anything that might damage it such as portable habatchi grill lol.
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  • Christina
    Dedicated December 2021
    Christina ·
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    We picked a date before our venue but out of all of the venues we looked at, NONE of them had 10/10/20 available. Everyone just liked like numbers (including us). We settled for 10/3/20 and honestly we’re both glad we did because it will still be pretty warm on Long Island.
    As far as MOH goes, in my opinion, I don’t think she has a say in the venue. If she’s not paying for the wedding, she doesn’t have a say.
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  • Talia
    Super October 2020
    Talia ·
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    We liked the date 10/10/20 and we've always wanted October for the wedding. Luckily our date was available at our top pick. It sounds super sketchy that the one venue won't book for 2020! Our venue is already booking for 2021. Your MOH has no say. Do you have any other venues in mind besides those two? Maybe Venue #1 you can be more flexible with your date. Are there any dates available with the month you're looking at?

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  • Maria
    Super October 2019
    Maria ·
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    Ignore what your MOH says...it's your wedding so it can be whatever you want. And every place has the ability to be "classed up."

    You might have to be more flexible on dates to get what you want though. We just said we wanted a Saturday in the fall (preferably September) and are getting married in October because that was the only date available between August and November at all venue options! Still fit our overall wish of a fall wedding. The date didn't have any significance to us before, but now it will Smiley smile


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