VENTing about people who don't RSVP

I feel you!! Most people were good about either sending back the RSVP or by accepting/declining on our wedding website. The ONLY people who I haven't heard from are the 2 people I was FORCED to invite and would rather them NOT come. Instead of reaching out, I'll jist make sure they have a seat of they do decide to show up but I'm not going to reach out and ask if they're coming because I'd rather they be on vacation or something and not come. Would make my life easier and my wedding day happier.

OP here. Well here's the kicker. Yesterday I find out my great-aunt who I've heard NOTHING from (there was a reason she was invited but won't get into it). She wants a dairy-free meal, she wants to know who she's sharing a hotel room with, who's taking her to the airport.

I said F that.... and she had to do it all herself. I'm done. I told my FH...On May1, take me AWAY from everyone on our honeymoon.

And for PP saying I should just relax or that the reason they don't RSVP is because they have a "life". No. That's not how it works. That's not how ANY of this works. Again- if you can't be BOTHERED to rsvp, I won't BOTHER to invite you to much else. Again- only a handful didn't rsvp thankfully but....the people I'm calling are actually saying yes...that they meant to mail the card or lost the damn thing. If you knew you lost it, a phone call, text, or email would've been fine. This generation sucks.

I definitely agree with Future Mrs. Como- I know it's irritating, but relax and they will come in. Not sure when your deadline was, but I will tell you that I had a LOT of people RSVP the night before the due date (mine were all online RSVP's), so a lot of people might realize they're due and you'll get them back a few days after the due date. On the other hand, we have just over two weeks before the wedding and there are still 5 people that have not RSVPed for the wedding, and fourteen for the reception and they have all been contacted about it. I just don't get that. I told FB (they are all her people), that she should tell them if they don't RSVP, then they aren't getting any dinner. I'm joking, of course, but it is annoying.

I just went through this over the weekend. I agree with you. Start sending some friendly texts. I had 1 person claim they didn't get the invite (maybe they didn't??), and another who has a newborn and had been waiting to see if her MIL could watch her other child.

Wait to hear them out, some have good excuses.

2 people texted me a pic

Someone else responded "+ guest". I texted her asking who because I need a first name and she said sister

WTF?

Totally understand, it's the same with us, and yes it's only a handful - and also one of mine who didn't rsvp was someone I ' had ' to invite (who I also know has a billion dietary requirements - not allergic, just fussy). I sent the handful a follow up email and everyone apart from this last girl was totally fine and replied to that. I sometimes think brides become Bridezilla because of the unnecessary stress of things like this rather than anything else... It's not as if we've only got the guest list to handle. I hope you get your responses.

Same and I don't understand how you can look at the rsvp with a blank that says names____ and you just check yes I'll be there and send it back with no name. Holy eyeroll so annoying!

I just finished dealing with this exact thing. I feel you 100%. I felt that it was so rude and inconsiderate for someone to just assume that I know you are coming to my wedding. I had several people that didn't rsvp by the deadline, so of course I had to call them. Oh and everyone wanted to bring extra people too. That has been the most frustrating part of planning my wedding.

I am dreading this part. Where I am from weddings are very casual and nobody sends RSVPs but our venue requires numbers so we are expecting to have to call a lot of people.

One of my FH's groomsmen wants to bring 5 extra people. Like wtf?!

Dude I hear ya. About a week ago my aunt randomly texted me to inform me that my cousin (who originally told me she couldn't come, through her mom actually, she didn't even tell me herself) was now going to come. I already had my seating chart done and everything. I was uber pissed.

Yeah, it sucks....but I was one of those people. I just stink at actually finding a damn mailbox where I can drop an RSVP. For a long time, I lived in apartment complexes where the mail was in a totally separate building and I'd only check it once a week. I'd put an RSVP card in my purse and then I'd forget all about it for days or weeks. And yeah, for weddings I really cared about.

So try not to take it so personally.

This would not be proper on a wedding invitation, but on invitations to parties that I host I leave off an important detail.

It may be not listing the venue, the start time...something that people need to know. This gets them to reach out to me to ask. This gives me the opportunity to say "can you make it?"

A friend of mine hosted a birthday party for her sister. About half of the people RSVP'd. She outgrew the original restaurant so the party was moved to another. About 8 people showed up at the first place. When they called her she said "Had you have RSVP'd, I would have told you about the change of venue." Mic drop.

@Nikki - your deployment example- and I understand it as my FH is active duty too- is an excuse that doesn't come up for the majority of people honestly. If you were one of those friends I'd have to call- sure....I'd call no problem and with no hard feelings.

I have 2 guests coming who have each lost a spouse in the last 2-6 months. Had they not RSVP-d, of course...I'd call and gently ask. I didn't have to though because even they managed to do it.

It's not being harsh. Some people just seriously need to have respect for others. Etiquette 101- When it comes to money and important events like this, you don't play around. Barring emergencies, if you say you're coming, come. If you say you're not, stay home. If you can't be bothered to tell me either way- sorry, I'm gonna remember that for a bit and I think it's a jerk move. (Barring deployments, personal tragedies and the like- again...not usual reasons).

May I direct you to Celia's response because it kicks butt!

@Audrey- exactly! I need to have my seating chart and place cards in to the printer's by Monday. So I don't just need to know you're coming. I need to know what you're eating and where the hell you're sitting - which by now may be on the front porch.

Same here. Still haven't heard from over half of our guests.

I understand your position, but I think you need to take a step back and realize it is NOT personal.

No one is late RSVPing because they have actively thought, "I don't respect Meaghan and I am not RSVPing for that reason," some people just have a hard time remembering things like that.

My short-term memory isn't great and I walk out of the house without something I need multiple times per week. I am absolutely guilty of RSVPing later than I should just because it has slipped my mind, not because I don't love and respect that people who have invited me.

I completely accept that I'll have to chase down RSVPs after our due date, and I know it's just because my wedding isn't nearly as important to everyone else as it is to me, and because people have busy lives. Sending out a few texts/emails to remind people is no big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah our RSVP deadline passed this week and we are only at 30 of 65 responses. I've managed to get in touch with a few people who finally RSVP'd, but I'm really not in the mood to keep reaching out to people. Fortunately we're doing buffet style and I'm doing escort cards not seating charts, so as long as I hear from them in the next week or so we should be fine. But I get how frustrating it is.

I totally agree! If I would of known that so many people would be texting my mom to RSVP I wouldn't even have wasted my money on stamps; I should of just said HEY TEXT MY MOM!!!