Venting about bridal party

It sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with everyone and tell them how you feel and your expectations moving forward.

Your cousin needed to go. It is understandable that she is unhappy, but there is no need to spread misery. Her being gone should be a relief. This has been a tough year for nerves, and lots of people are frazzled. it is very hard on people finally getting to their wedding. Sorry you are having a tough time. FI may find he will do a lot better picking up the phone and talking to his guys, than texting to the group. And you have an answer from FI's guy, they think of you as an invader in male world, and that you are there to keep an eye on FI. Clearly they don't want a joint party. Couples really should leave the planning to the WP. Not everyone gets a bach. But the point is friends throwing the party, not you guys as a couple planning something, so take a hint that you overstepped your bounds, and stay out. It is something many people think rude, and will get very angry about, making it hard to enjoy fun and friendship.
Your ladies will pull things together as time gets closer. Lots of showers are planned in the last 2 months before they happen, and people have a great time. Hope things get better. How are you doing with things you are doing? Are you beginning to see things you planned way back finally all fall into place?

Well ain’t that just a kick in the pants??? Vent on girl!

I think you need to have a sit down with everyone involved and discuss what is expected of each and every attendant. This way all involved will understand from that point on what there is to do, who is doing it, discuss up and coming deadlines that need to be taken care of.

It shows who is in charge, you and your fiancé, that’s it. Everyone else should have the understanding that they have been chosen because you love them and want them to be a part of your day. If they have second thoughts or do not want to help you, then probably they should step aside so you can ask someone who does want to truly be a part of your day, minus the drama.

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Agree with this

You all need to be on the same page for expectations. It's possible that they have been in weddings where the only expectation was to buy a dress and show up.