Vegetarian wedding ? help!

If you have pasta you don't have to have a meat option.

@KellyT: That's really poor advice that has been addressed already, repeatedly.

Been flowing this thread all day to see if my opinion changes and honestly, it hasnt. If I have to buy food to be satisfied during a party I probably wouldn't go. I guess you don't judge your FH for eating meat, and your family says they wouldn't be happy so in the end you need to be OK with their disapointment. It is your day, decide what you want to do, I wouldn't say you have to, but be prepared for the opinion ions that follow. Good luck!

I am a meat eater but definitely understand your point. It would have to be very filling options as meat is usually the most filling part of the dish. Heavy pastas (fettuccini Alfredo w/ broccoli, Manicotti, pasta salad) would suffice.

I am a vegetarian and will be providing meat at my wedding.

I am also a recovering alcoholic (as is FH) and we will be serving alcohol at our wedding.

I view these situations similarly: I am properly hosting my guests. If the wedding were only about me and FH, we would elope. Even though I make the choice not to consume these things, I don't judge my guests for their different choices.

Yeah I just want to reiterate for everyone on the fence or saying it is a vegetarian wedding.... her FH eats meat soooo it's not a veg wedding.

I personally would be pretty unhappy without having a meat option because I am offering something for vegetarians to eat and it's just common courtesy.

"Meat eaters who are sure that vegan and vegetarian food = only starch, pasta, beans, icky things just puzzle the hell out of me."

In fairness, I think the reason for that is that there have been nine pages of pro-vegetarian meals telling the OP to serve pasta and potatoes. What other meals have been mentioned in this thread?

Also, unless the OP is planning to make her FH have his own bank account from which he will purchase his own meat for the rest of their lives, then I'd argue that if she's okay with buying his meat, she should be okay with providing a meat option for her wedding guests.

@Elizabeth, OP did not ask for meal suggestions. If she does I would be happy to help. And yeah that is what some folks do in veg/Omni relationships. I certainly do. I cook, I buy vegan ingredients, I am happy to pay for those and make great meals. If my partner wants meat or eggs or dairy, he can certainly buy and prepare those for himself. He gets what he wants, and I am not being asked or required to violate a deeply held ethical and moral belief. Works for many couples and families.

I think I would be really annoyed if I went to a wedding and there wasn't meal options I enjoyed. Just as you felt at the last wedding you went to. To me, a meal had meat in it.

Why is this even and argument if her FH eats meat ? He should get to eat meat at his wedding. Therefore the other guests can have that same option.

OP, does your partner want meat served or a vegan meal? I don't think we know that fact.

Sorry but I think you have to do a meat option. My kids and my FH mostly only eat meat. I wouldn't expect anyone to starve at my wedding because I chose to be selfish and go with my liking of food and didn't care about my guest. Your guests are why your having the reception in the first place.

My question from the beginning has been if OP's FH eats meat then wouldn't he want meat? I understand if both of them didn't eat meat then I wouldn't expect it but if he does eat meat then I would expect it since it is only OP who doesn't like meat..

Also, the reception is a way to thank the guests and OP has mentioned already that she has a lot of family members who are upset and consider it rude if she doesn't offer a meat option. So it doesn't really matter what any of us say... her guests have already informed her that they would be upset and consider it rude. OP you should listen to your family since that is the viewpoint that your guests will have.

Also... just throwing in a pasta or potato bar doesn't replace a meal and everyone suggesting carbs covered in high fat cream/dairy sauces are clearly not thinking about the issues most of the country has with cholesterol/obesity

After reading a few comments the ones that really stuck out to me were that we wouldn't be telling an Othordox Jew that they have to serve something non-Kosher nor a Muslim that they have to have pork. These are moral decisions just as much as they are religious. However OP, I do also agree with a commenter above who pointed out that a bunch of strangers on the internet are not who you should be listening to.

I can't really say much because we are only allowed 2 dinner options and are going with 2 meat options with exceptions made to guests with allergies (namely FSIL who has Celiac's, and a close friend who is allergic to almost everything). However, I also know my guests and know that they are pretty big meat eaters save for the few mentioned above. So I guess what I'm echoing here is listen to your guests. They're the ones you're hosting, not us. And they're telling you they'd like meat.

Is Kosher meat an option? Maybe talk to your guests about what a vegetarian meal can look like (most people assume it's a salad bar, I don't know if this is true for your guests as well but maybe a dinner party with immediate family to introduce them to it). Ultimately you two will make this decision, and it is a difficult one to answer, so talk to your FH about it too.

"@Elizabeth, OP did not ask for meal suggestions. If she does I would be happy to help."

And yet, many offered some, 99% of which were full of starches.

You should def have an option just like there is a proper option for vegetarians, it might be against your beliefs but your hosting a wedding and you should have options for their liking

I would love a beautiful filling pasta dish. Wouldn't bother me at all.

Clearly there is no one right answer here and there is also most likely no way to please 100% of your guests with every one of your wedding choices. Pay attention to correct etiquette but don't allow yourself to be driven mad by too many differing voices, some reasonable and some unreasonable.

I eat meat, but I wouldn't mind attending a vegetarian wedding. I doubt most people have meat at every.single.meal. Does no one ever sit down and have grilled cheese? Maybe I'm a weirdo and eat too much grilled cheese and tomato soup...

This is probably a UO but I also think this whole "proper hosting" has gone a liiiiiiiittle bit too far when people try to force you to accomodate every dietary possibility under the sun without any sense of personal responsibility. If I had a medical condition or a very unusual allergy, I would be prepared for many possible scenarios. Just like people with life-threatening allergies carry epi-pens, most friends I have with dietary-related medical conditions carry around a snack/protein/whatever bar in case they go somewhere and need it. It seems wildly unsafe to assume that wherever you go will have what you require food-wise when you have those types of conditions or allergies, simply because life is unpredictable. Better safe than sorry.

That being said, we put a line on our RSVPs for "dietary restrictions" and I already know that we will be getting back gluten free, dairy free, vegan, red-dye free, diabetic, shellfish allergies, etc, based on our friends and family who are coming, and we will work with our caterer to accommodate all of those. Our parents were shocked at the specifications but life and our societal structures have changed so much in just a generation.

I rely on meat for a lot of my protein, because I don't necessarily eat a lot of veggies (though I'm trying and getting better).

I would prefer a meat option as a guest, but I would also like a pasta option. As long as it could fill me up for a night of dancing! You don't want your guests being hungry because the meal was too light.