Dedicated August 2020

Vaccinations

on May 2, 2021 at 4:23 PM Posted in Planning 1 51
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We posted on our wedding site that we’re asking all guests who are planning to attend are vaccinated. My nephew has lots of health problems and this is the primary reason we are doing it. Our ceremony is outside but the reception will be inside in a very large venue. The capacity of our venue is 600 and we will only be having about 80-120 people.


My uncle already lied and told me he was vaccinated and would be there. But he had actually told my mom days before that he wouldn’t be getting a vaccine. He won’t be attending now. But I’m hearing from more and more people that they aren’t planning to be vaccinated, a cousin and a few friends. I know everyone has the right to make their own choices. Was it rude of us to ask people to be vaccinated to attend? I didn’t disclose my nephew’s health condition on our website obviously but I feel like people are thinking we’re trying to push an agenda on them rather than us just trying to be safe...
What do you guys think? Should I not read too much into it? I guess I just feel bad about people not doing it but I’m obviously going to stand by our boundary to protect our nephew’s health.

51 Comments

Latest activity by Tory, on May 3, 2021 at 5:18 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Only you can decide what line to draw for your own wedding. I know personally I wouldn’t get the vaccine to attend a wedding so if that’s what the couple wanted I’d decline and I’d expect them to be ok with that. It’s ok to draw that line, as long as your ok with guests choosing not to attend for that reason.
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    Thanks! I’m okay with it, I just wasn’t expecting that so many of the people we are close to would be hesitant to get it. We live in an area that has a really high vaccine rate so I guess I just wasn’t expecting so many people to not be. Oh well
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    You can certainly choose to require the vaccine in order for guests to attend your wedding, though people are also able to choose to not attend if they don't want to get the vaccine. Are you open to accepting a negative COVID test result within a couple days before the wedding if guests do not want to get the vaccine? You could also offer a virtual option for those who would like to attend virtually if they don't want to get the vaccine.
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    I’m open to having people tested but my husband is not. We postponed our big 2020 wedding (this one will now be our big one) because of his concerns about Covid and he’s very worried about his nephew being exposed, so he’s not open to just the testing. I am hoping things continue to improve so we can put that option on the table also. A few people have asked and I’ve had to say no but that I’d update them if anything changes
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If the vaccine is a requirement for entry, be prepared for many to decline. You cannot ask for their vaccination card. While many will get vaccinated with no issue, there are some people who can’t get them for health reasons. Even with the vaccine, proper precautions still have to be followed because it’s not a magic fix. And many don’t feel comfortable attending events right now and that should be respected. Is a mask good enough in that case?

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I'd probably give them a second option. Like a negative covid test right before the wedding. Everyone has their own personal reasons for not wanting the vaccine just like people have their own reasons for getting it. It sounds like your guest list is thinning out from this choice. Could you add to the website something vague like "do to health problems with some guests we ask that everyone please vaccinate before coming to the wedding" if you aren't comfortable with them getting tested.


    I don't know I get why you want to do it this way, but at the same rate you are stepping on some toes. Hopefully you find the best solution that works for you and your loved ones.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    That makes sense. Hopefully things improve! If not, and you're absolutely set on vaccines required, you can certainly do so! Though, be understanding of guests who choose to not to get the vaccine. I would maybe look into a virtual option, so people can still attend, but with less risk, if they don't want the vaccine.
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  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
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    If someone wants to get vaccinated, they're going to get vaccinated. If they don't want the vaccine, they're not going to get it for a wedding. It's intrusive and inappropriate to enforce it and irresponsible to take zero measures to contain covid. Even if it weren't for your nephew, we all need to play our part in stopping the pandemic. You should not have to explain your nephew's condition for guests to understand your reasoning. We are in a public health crisis, and if people think you're pushing a political agenda, that's their problem.


    Hosting 80 to 120 people indoors does not sound ideal, even if every single person is fully vaccinated. The CDC still says to avoid large indoor gatherings. Either way, you have no way to ensure that each guest is vaccinated. What will do you do with party crashers and liars?
    I'd give out masks, space out the tables, keep the windows open, and offer livestream options.
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    I’m not sure who said we were not taking zero other precautions? We are masking inside and also social distancing in a large venue. The vaccine is an added precaution. Thanks for your input.
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  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I think asking for people to be vaccinated is a step too far.
    Some people can't get vaccinated due to medical reasons and unfortunately people are still very untrustworthy of modern medicine.
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  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I personally think you're doing the right thing. Nobody is forcing anybody to get vaccinated in order to attend a wedding--you're simply making it a requirement for entry. This will be the norm with lots of events, both public and private, in the near future anyway. I was actually invited to a birthday party next weekend and the host is asking non-vaccinated individuals to please stay home.

    If people don't want to get vaccinated for whatever reason, then they can decline and not attend your wedding. Simple as that! By the way, we're considering doing the same for our wedding, although we might make an exception for people who cannot get the vaccine due to a history of allergic reactions to vaccines

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  • F
    Beginner June 2023
    Francesca ·
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    I personally think you are making the right choice. You aren’t forcing anyone to take the vaccine. If they don’t want to they don’t have to but then they can’t attend the wedding and that’s ok. We are in an area that has SUPER covid restrictions so I know how hard finding a balance can be but you have to do what’s safe and right for you and your family.
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  • Monica
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Yes It was rude of you to ask. Getting vaccinated is a very personal decision ppl are making. I wouldnt expect all your guests to come especially for those who have no plan to get vaccinated. And some may lie like your uncle did.
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    So you would risk your nephews health in order to have your wedding???? I mean if that’s what all of this is really about…
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    Unfortunately that is not my choice. I think the safer option is for him to stay home; however his parents want him to attend. I’ve expressed this and they are the siblings of my husband so I do not want to cause conflict with him. I am choosing to do it as safely as possible since they have already made that choice.
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Hmmm.... so your husband is willing to risk his own nephews life for your reception??
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    I think you are being a bit of a troll here. If you need details: we postponed our 2020 wedding because the venue would not refund us. We have paid about 35k in cash for everything. July 2021 was the only time we could reschedule to. I’m not in control of the actions anyone else takes but am in charge of my life. I am choosing not to throw 35k away and host a wedding with as many precautions as I can. If it were up to my husband and I, our nephew would not attend. However; we are not his parents. For further context: my husband’s family is Filipino and it is important to them culturally that all family members are present for events like this. I am not in a position to disrespect their culture or way of doing things. Further, it is not in their culture to tell an older sibling that you disagree with them and this is the case here. In my culture this would be accepted but as we are starting a new life together, I am being respectful. You should try to consider seeing things from multiple lenses.
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    … Well I’m definitely not trying to troll. You are the one that is saying your nephew is extremely sick. I understand all about signing contracts pre-Covid because I did it. Many cultures across the board see as essential that important family members attend. That does not at all give an excuse to put the life of your nephew in danger, as many other cultures that care just as much also make sacrifices, including many Filipinos couples that have made sacrifices for their recent weddings. I’m also under the impression that you already had your wedding and this is a reception? You can certainly request that everyone be vaccinated, but if you’re that concerned where the majority of your guests being vaccinated is just not enough, this child must be very sick. I’m assuming that he can’t get the vaccine himself? Either way, you and your husband should be more in control of your reception. As you said, you were the one that paid 35K. You mentioned how important it is for Filipino culture, but then you also mentioned how some of your guests plan on lying to you and might not get the vaccine. Was that just people on your side of the family that were lying about getting the vaccine? I just find it hard to believe that if the majority of your guests are already vaccinated and you’re still practicing all social distancing measures i.e. mask wearing then I don’t understand why you would demand others(probably very few ppl I’m assuming) to get the vaccine in order to attend. It leaves me with the impression that your nephew must be very sick, and I can’t imagine any parent, or uncle would be willing to risk his life for a celebration party. Again I’m under the impression that you’ve already had your wedding? And it was OK for you to put your foot down then and tell people that they can’t attend, but now all of a sudden you can’t do that? I’m sorry I’m really not trying to troll I’m just trying to make sense of all of this. You can certainly require that everyone gets vaccinated, that is totally fine you have every right to do that, I guess I’m just confused by it
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Also another thing that doesn’t make any sense is that if your nephew is unable to get the vaccine because of medical issues, but he must attend, how do you know that there aren’t other people on your husband side that have medical problems that also can’t get the vaccine. Would it be OK for them to attend? If not then why is it an issue for your nephew? I’m sorry it just doesn’t make any sense. You have 120 people, and odds are more than just your nephew might have a medical condition that prevents him from getting the vaccine
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  • Dedicated August 2020
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    It was my uncle who lied, who has no relation to my my husband’s nephew. We had a private wedding last summer due to my husband’s Catholic faith. I was only able to have 2 family members in attendance.


    Our nephew is six so he cannot get the vaccine. He suffers from seizures. Where we live (Montgomery county, md) is the highest vaccinated county in our state and everyone on my husband’s side of the family is vaccinated as his uncle is a doctor and was able to secure vaccinations for everyone on his side of the family. His family wants everyone to be vaccinated. Additionally, we have very stringent rules here in our county such as still wearing a mask outside and limited indoor dining (different from the rest of MD). It is very rare for people in our area to not follow Covid rules because they’d be socially shunned. That being said, my extended family lives in another county.
    My family is the side who is lying and many of them are anti-vaxxers. I do not share the same views as them. We are not worried about people on my husband’s side because they all know about our nephew’s condition which is why they are all vaccinated.
    When we had our wedding it was a forced postponement as our area did not allow gatherings over 15. So it was not a “putting our foot down” but following the law. Our wedding (it is still a wedding to me although we had a catholic ceremony in the summer—-I am not catholic and did not get to say my own vows) and reception space (in northern Virginia, so different rules) now allows for the capacity of our original guest list. If we had it our way, we would not be having anything at all but we are contractually obligated as we still owe the venue money.
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