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Savvy October 2019

Usher backing out 3 months before the wedding

Elizabeth, on July 2, 2019 at 9:10 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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Hello again!
Welp. Aside from our “welcome party” food truck backing out this week we also had an usher say he can’t make it to our destination wedding. Stinks because he is my fiancé’s best friend and we are having a very small “bridal party”. Basically his sister as my matron of honor, his brother as his best man, and his brother in law as an usher. This was supposed to be our second usher (100ish people to seat).

The only thing I can even think of doing is to have his best man seat people instead of spending time with him before the ceremony. Not ideal but people need sat and I’m not a fan of the “seat yourself” idea.
Any other ideas? It would be much too late to ask someone else to be an usher

8 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on August 15, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to a wedding with ushers. People are perfectly capable of seating themselves for the ceremony.
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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    I think the only people who truly need to be sat if they're not a part of the immediate family (grandparents, siblings), are the grandparents. Most weddings I planned, the groom sat the grandparents though. It's always felt super uncomfortable for me to have someone seat me. I'm an adult, I most often don't want to sit near the front (and if there is a reserved row, most people know better than to sit in the first couple).

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  • Tilar Fifield
    Devoted August 2019
    Tilar Fifield ·
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    I think having someone designated to seat people sets the formality of the event. Letting people pick a seat displays a more relaxed/ informal setting. Which is fine, but if “more formal” is the vibe she’s going for then cool. I don’t see a problem with having your best man seat guests, generally groomsmen can also do the job of an usher. That’s what mine will be doing!
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I didn’t even know people still had ushers. I think your guests are more than capable of seating themselves.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I've never been to a wedding without an usher, I trying to convince my fiance to pick a third one. Just in case.
    In this case, I'd ask if you have another close friend that wouldn't be offended to step in. If not, I'd absolutely ask the best man.
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  • Amber
    Devoted April 2022
    Amber ·
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    I agree with PP, ushers are not necessary. I’ve been in 10+ weddings as an adult and not one of those had ushers. The last time I saw ushers at a wedding was when I was flower girl in the 1990s.
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  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
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    Ushers aren't necessary.

    When I was single and went to weddings without a date, I always felt extremely uncomfortable when a strange man put his arm through mine and insisted on walking me to my seat.

    If you have any single female guests, they will appreciate no ushers Smiley smile
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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Hey Elizabeth! Have you decided what to do about ushers for your wedding?

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