*Update in comments* NWR: best friend in love with an engaged man

Huh, wonder if Fiance found out and SHE left his cheating ass!

Didn't see that coming.

Good luck @OP. I hope you get a chance to talk to her. Despite leaving the FW, he still has a lot of personal issues. I hope your friend sees this :-(

Wow, I'm speechless. I didn't see that coming in the slightest... I hope whatever happens, it's all for the best.

I mean I'm glad that at least now he's not messing around with two people. I just hope going forward that if he and my friend decide to make a go of this that he won't turn around and do the same thing to her.

OP hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I could almost guarantee this will affect your living situation. Are you financially able to afford your place and bills without her as a roommate?

I can’t imagine why she’d want someone like this guy. The potential for him doing this again is high.

Wow. I do hope your friend recognizes that this guy is just getting out of a very serious (and what was probably a long-term) relationship and while it's great that he's no longer "taken" and using her to cheat on his fianceé, he probably needs time before jumping into a full fledged, serious relationship with her. Whether this guy recognizes he shouldn't jump into a new, serious relationship right away or not, he probably does.

Also, I like mataDC's point. The fianceé could have been the one to dump this guy, not the other way around. Even if he's saying he chose to leave her for his mistress, he could be saying that to endear himself to your friend so she doesn't feel like his backup choice. She only has the side of this story he's telling her, and well, how trustworthy is a man who would sleep a woman while engaged to another.

I'm almost certain saying all of that to your friend would outrage her and not make her want to talk to or listen to you, but I do hope she gives you the opportunity to tell her to take things slow and be cautious, and that she'll at least recognize that she's involved with a man who was willing to cheat and there's no guarantee he won't be willing to do that to her in the future.

OP, it sounds like she is going to move out and move in with him. I hope this gets better.

Well, the next "didn't see that coming" (except we will) is she'll either want to break the lease with you to move in with him, OR he'll be over at your place so much that you'll either A) choose to leave the lease yourself, or B) there will be some sort of argument over the situation and she'll break the lease then.

I really hope neither of those happen. I'm actually really kind of hoping someone covers this guys car in flaming bags of dogshit one night when he'll inevitably be over at your place. I'm sorry, OP.

Uggh, I just wanted to chime in and say I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It totally sucks when friends try to make us complicit in their lies and immoral behavior, and I hope things turn out for the better.

While i'd stay away from telling her what to do, or even considering to tell his FS, i'd also sit there and ask questions about his FS and details in regards to the wedding.

@Miranda, read the update...

What is your relationship like with this friend? She neglected to tell you she was seeing this man for a few weeks because she knew you'd be disappointed in her. Give your opinion to her straight, and let her know her worth.

This pisses me off, because it can be any of us here....your friend is.. a terrible fucking person for even sleeping with a man who was engaged to ANOTHER WOMAN. I hope that SHE dumped his cheating fucking ass, and not the other way around. ( my first time cussing on WW, please excuse my French)

@ Tamara, no need to excuse, your French is perfect and quite appropriate.

I wish them a miserable life together.

Really did not expect this. I can't see this working out for her. I really hope that she doesn't now screw you over OP. Her judgement is clearly questionable (at best) so I'm worried for you!

@Aly we were roommates in college. I'd like to think we're really close but she's always been more into going out and having fun with guys while I've always been the one in a steady relationship. I've always been very honest with her that I think being with one person that loves and respects you is worth it and so much better than meaningless flings so I think because of that she kinda keeps that side of her life to herself. (Just FYI I've never shamed her)

@Tamara I completely agree. That's why this has been such an uncomfortable situation because I love my friend, but I also feel terrible for this girl.

So, um....is your friend completely POSITIVE that he actually did in fact split up with his fiance? Like is there public, confirmable, undeniable proof that she could show somewhere? Because I've known too many people in a similar situation who claim to have broken it off with someone, and somehow managed to live that complete lie just to keep the other person. JS

Talia W. - to be honest, that thought crossed my mind, too.

Or another (unfortunate, and difficult to think about) possibility...your friend could be lying to you, and completely fabricated the breakup herself so that you'd be a little more ok with the situation. I'm just a super cynical person and finding it awfully convenient that, only now that you're confronting her with the issue, he has conveniently left his fiance.

Le sigh. It's a very complicated situation, OP, and one that I'm sorry you've been drug into. I hope your friend can remove her rose-colored glasses and see the other side, and the truth of the matter.

eta: words