UPDATE: I am NOT inviting my brother to my wedding.

Want to regret not inviting him. I was gonna send him a conditional invitation, "If you make amends with my FS, you can come to my wedding." But seeing as how he is full of hatred still, he'd prolly urinated on that letter and send it back to me..so I'm thinking...I need to stop trying to be the better person on this one...don't send him an invite and enjoy our day without worrying over all that drama.

I think you need to stop trying to be the better person so that you can enjoy your day without any additional stress. And don't feel bad about it.

Oh, that is horrid, I am sorry. I agree though, no need to invite him.

Oh man I'm sorry to hear that Mrs. Turner2B. Your brother sounds very immature, and has a lot of growing up to do. You are his sister, he should not be saying those things. I agree with you about not inviting him, because I bet you, if he does show up, you will be worried he might create some drama and you don't need that stress.

Sounds like he has some pent up and not so pent up anger issues. I honestly see where you are coming from as to the double edge sword. My concern would be for you if he did come, what he could potentially do on your wedding day and the outcome that it may have. I would hate to say for him to not be there but if he is monitor his behavior closely and if it looks like he is getting agitated have someone nicely escort him into another area.

@Jass...yes, I agree...I would probably be completely on edge wondering how he will greet FS or if he will at all or whatever. And it would be a very tense and akward situation for my FS too.

The whole situation sounds pretty awful, but it is probably better for all involved if you don't invite him. Down the road, he may realize what happened was pretty crappy but don't count on it anytime soon. Sorry to hear things aren't smooth, but here's to a fabulous wedding and a lifetime of happiness!

I believe you've done what you can to try and make peace. Obviously, he's being a little sh!t about something and IMO, there's no reason for you to "beg" him to come. Why? So he can grief you again on your big and special day? Eff that dude. You did the right thing.

@Diana...I would feel bad having to give someone the responsability to act as "security guard" for him. I agree with you, he has major pent up anger issues.

@Stephanie...I agree...better for all involved. It makes me sad. I was hoping that by my wedding he'd realize the error of his ways and take responsabiity but it seems like he has had no growth whatsoever.

Dont' invite him, it's YOUR day with your FS.

I think it's probably for the best that he isn't invited.. sounds like he is being very childish and you've done what you can.

I'm sorry & I agree....dont waste the postage!

My feeling is that if you don't like the people getting married, you shouldn't go to the wedding. Your brother obviously has beef with you guys. He doesn't deserve to be invited. You deserve to have a stressfree day. Screw him and his childish attitude.

I think you're doing the right thing. In the end somewhere down the road when he's matured he's going to totally regret it. But you've done all you can.

I'm sorry your brother isnt acting like a member of your family

That sounds like the best decision. I was completely blindsided by my sis' insulting abusive behavior towards me on my wedding day. I I'm trying to find forgiveness in my heart for her now and man, it is hard. And my mom is trying to mediate. I am still waiting for an apology. It is truly sad.

I agree with PP

@JJ...I'm sorry to hear what happened on your wedding day with your sis...at this point..I'm just trying to avoid something like that happening if I were to invite my brother to my wedding.

Oh girly... you know what... dont sweat it anymore than he is. This is your day, well your hubs too. You two deserve to enjoy it. You have tried before and you can only try so many times you know? Burn me 1 time it's an accident burn me 2 times it was my fault... and it won't happen again.

Best of luck to ya dear :o)

I wouldn't invite him. Its your day so why add the stress. Let him be the one to regret his decisions years down the road. Your concern should be that of you and your FS day.