UO: I DON'T want to open gifts in front of guests at a shower.

Eww @FromAtoB....I would be very put off by that request. Now I'm expected to specially purchase see-through wrapping paper for this one shower? So the bride doesn't have to be inconvenienced by opening the hard earned gifts from her generous well wishers?? No. I'd ignore the request purposefully and double wrap.

You can do it! It's not that bad. I just had my shower last weekend. My MOH helped pass each gift to me and showed excitement for each one. It's a main part of a bridal shower and usually expected by guests. I'm the most shy person and I was able to get through it, you can do it!

I have to admit, when I saw that on the invite (my mom was invited not me) I thought it was a super weird request. Like PP's have said, practically the whole purpose is to open the gifts. I agree I wouldn't want it for my own shower, but thought i'd suggest it anyway.

The "assembly line" thing was my MOH's suggestion, not mine. Is it really that big of a deal for someone else to rip the paper before me? I've seen it done a thousand times

Yeah @FromAtoB it's one of those ALMOST good ideas that you could convince yourself of.

@FromAtoB @CuteNickname... That seems like it would be worse on the etiquette point of people wanting to see your excitement at opening gifts... It's 'exciting' because you unwrap it and learn what each individual gave, and thank them. A table full of unwrapped gifts with cards or name tags stuck to them seems weird to me.

@Stephanie

The opening the card bit is what comes across as rude to me. That note was personally written for the bride and having a MOH open and read it would offend me greatly as a guest.

I think it's a little selfish to be so opposed to opening gifts... The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. The gifts are, therefore, a huge part of the shower. If you don't want to open them, insist on not having a shower. But you can't have both---i.e., getting gifts and not opening them.

@kirackle, that's a fair point. I think I may have worded that poorly--essentially, it would just be taken out of the envelope for me and the MOH would check the name on it. I would be the one physically reading it as I agree it would be rude otherwise (plus I obviously want to read my guests' messages!)

@lmac that picture hahahaha

Well, UO here but I love bridal showers (I hate baby showers though) I also love watching people open presents. For me I get so excited seeing what other people got. Yes I get uncomfortable when people watch me open gifts but I also am having guests at my shower who KNOW me and who I love so i'm not truly worried about it. If you don't want a shower politely decline.

@Mary D. That's really helpful! Not obligating people to stay, but making it optional for those who really care about seeing their gift opened. My plan A is to not have a shower, but I made this post to get advice on a Plan B if I get stuck with one.

I just had my shower and it was kinda awkward opening presents in front of everyone, but people stopped paying attention very quickly. When I opened a person's gift, that person paid attention. I loved the gifts - I got some beautiful family heirlooms. But it was definitely awkward, so I feel ya.

@FutureMrsAK I feel the opposite way about baby showers!

Bridal showers seem extra to me, because you're already inviting everyone to the wedding to celebrate the marriage, and the bridal shower is an additional party to ask for gifts.

Baby showers are the only party element for inviting others to celebrate welcoming a child with you, you don't invite them to the birth!

My shower is this weekend and I find the whole opening gifts thing drawn out and long and such. However, I know it's just part of the deal and it should be done. I am having my FH help me though, he's going to be up opening right along with me.

@ OP: Woe is you getting "stuck with" a shower. Must be hard having people throw a party in your honor and spend lots of money on gifts for you and your spouse to-be.

Have an "open shower" where everyone wraps their gift with see though paper. So everyone know what you are getting and you do not have to sit there and open every single one. Or open the gifts as the people come in. I have been to both kinds of showers and both were great. The bride got to spend more time with the people invited instead of sitting there opening all the gifts at once.

My SIL (DH's brother's wife) had "do not wrap the gift" (in a cute little poem *eye roll*) and didn't open her gifts there/thank anyone. Walking to the place was a nightmare because everyone was trying to carry toasters and little presents in no bags at all and people kept dropping everything. Also it was really awkward from a guest's point of view when everyone was asking "when is she going to open the gifts" and my MIL had to say "she's not". Everyone was super confused and wondering why there was just a display of open gifts on a table.

Apparently UO: I love showers and gift opening. It's my favorite part of every shower and I watch with rapt attention no matter what. Maybe I'm just obsessed with housewares? Anyway, if my MOH tries to start the unwrapping for me, I'm going to throat punch her.

I think that if I go to a shower and either the bride a)wants the gifts unwrapped or b)doesn't open them in front of guests, I would feel pretty used and the bride to be as gift grabby.

It's maybe three hours out of your life. You can't sit there and open a gift and oh and ah over something that we purposely went to the one store you picked out to have gifts from, taken time off work, taken my time out to spend with you, dressed up and driven to where you are. That's pretty freaking selfish. The point of a shower is to shower the brides with gifts. Not sit there while she visits with friends and makes a 5 second appearance to everyone else then loads up her gifts and leaves. I don't care how well your thank you card is written I would be offended. At least when you open gifts you thank the giver and I know you actually looked at the gift.

I also am not looking forward to the awkwardness of opening gifts while everyone watches me. But it's the expected social convention, so I'm doing it. My FMIL suggested the clear wrapping paper/unwrapped gift thing, I felt like that would be rude.