UO: I DON'T want to open gifts in front of guests at a shower.

You have to do it if you have a shower. Everyone hates it. It's awkward and boring, but it's etiquette. I'm definitely on the same page as you. I didn't want a shower and so I got a surprise shower. Joke was on me.

I am not looking forward to that part of my shower.

I completely agree with you! I hate opening gifts in front of people on any occasion (birthday, christmas, etc.) and you know what? I hate watching people open my gift as well! My SIL's shower is the only one I've been to where she didn't open gifts in front of everyone. It was nice because it gave us a lot more time to talk, play games, eat food. I don't think it's rude at all as long as you send a simple "thank you" of sorts.

If you don't want to open the gifts in front of your guests you should decline the shower altogether.

Send me your gifts; I will open them for you.

Seriously, decline a shower if opening gifts makes you this uncomfortable.

I felt very similarly, my bridal shower consisted of mostly family and friends of my husband's side since I don't have much family and our wedding was held in his home state.....plus I'm socially awkward and hate opening gifts in front of others in any occasion. I compromised and had my husband not only attend the shower, but had him sit with me during the opening of gifts and help open stuff. I'm sure it was a little weird for some but it took pressure and attention off of me but let me thank everyone and granted the opportunity to show how grateful I was for everything (also made a very brief "speech" at the end just saying thank you and I appreciated the support.) I've seen others suggest showers where people leave gifts and the couple open later, so long as you send thank you cards and the guests are properly hosted I see no problem with that. Not everyone loves to be the center of attention.

My goal is to decline having a wedding shower, for this and a few other reasons. I'm just hoping it won't be taken the wrong way... Or that I end up with a surprise shower (I'm not a huge fan of surprises).

It was my least favorite part of the bridal shower but it is the right thing to do. People took the time to get you a gift and spend those few hours with you. Take the 30 mins to open it. I still sent a thank you card as soon as I got home so you can still thank them privately.

I also think that this part is awkward, so my bridesmaids have decided to create an assembly line. By the time the gift gets to me, the card will be opened so I can acknowledge the person, and the wrapping paper will be partially undone so I can quickly pull it off the rest of the way. They hope this will expedite the process (and so do I!)

Yeah it's kinda expected. I was feeling a little awkward about it too bc I felt like there would be a lot of pressure for my reactions to be good enough "omg I love this!!!!!" lol. But at my shower people were mingling and chatting with everyone around them while I was opening gifts so it really wasn't bad at all.

Just say no to the shower. It's not a big deal.

FSS.....these people have gone out of their way to buy you a gift, get dressed and spend an afternoon with you. The least you can do is open the darn gift, ooohhhh and ahhhh over it, and act like you're grateful. And no, the 'assembly line' plan seems rude and dismissive. Sorry.

Or tell them you don't want a shower. That's just fine too.

Listen, no one likes showers; not those invited, not those being showered. Call it off and consider it a gift to your guests.

If I'm going to go out of my way to buy you a gift from your registry, rsvp to your hosts, take time out of my life to drive to and attend your shower, deal with awkward conversations with strangers, and etc., surely your ass can handle a few minutes of gift opening, center stage.

I totally understand the feeling - I was dreading opening the gifts at my shower because I thought it was so awkward. My bridesmaids did a good job of keeping the flow - my MOH opened the card, told me who the gift was from, and set the card aside so that I could read it later. Then I opened the present, acknowledged/showed it off quickly, and repeated this until all the presents were opened. One of my bridesmaids taped all the cards to the presents so they wouldn't get lost either.

I am actually the rare person who enjoys watching the bride open the gifts at their shower. I like to see what they get and see if it's something I might want to get for my home! What I don't like is when the bride chit chats or spends too much time reading the card and stuff like that. If you have your bridesmaids moving things along, it might be better than you think.

I don't think that is a UO, I think a lot of us find the gift opening boring and awkward. Luckily my shower is pretty small so I'm just going to try to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible. I have heard of people doing unwrapped showers? Where unwrapped gifts are just put on a table? Maybe that's an option.

You can say "no" to having a shower.

I just won't do a registry. No registry = no shower. Neither FH or I have any interest in creating a registry for our small guest list. Also, I'm not a fan of being the center of attention so much so this works out for everyone.

I didn't read the comments, so maybe this was already addressed.

I know some people in my family had requested on their shower invites for gifts to remain unwrapped or in clear packaging so that the bride could see all her gifts, but had more time to mingle with everyone instead of opening gifts.

maybe suggest that?

I never understand these posts about brides hating opening gifts. I freaking love opening gifts and even gift wrap stuff for myself at Christmas to unwrap solely for the pleasure of ripping the paper off Christmas morning. Plus, how is it a chore to receive nicely picked out gifts?

I second that the assembly line thing sounds terrible. Have an open box shower before having Bridesmaids open your cards and gifts for you.

@Celia thank you so much for that! I don't want a shower, I didn't want to register but I'm getting pressure about that, so we're going to have a small registry.

My FH and I met in college, so we live 5 hours from his hometown and 3 hours from mine, which I feel is another good reason not to have a shower because it puts too much of a burden on invited guests.

My FMIL was telling me yesterday my FSIL (met her H at the same college) had Showers in the respective hometowns to celebrate with the local friend groups (so not all wedding invitees were invited to respective showers, and not all the shower invitees were going the wedding).

The idea of THAT makes me cringe even more than a shower that forces people to drive 3-5 hours to attend.

Basically: I really don't want a shower. I'm praying no one will be rude enough to force me into a surprise shower when they know I don't want one.