Unwanted guests

Don't invite them. Life is to short to spend time and money on people you don't like....family or not.

If you chose to invite them, get over it and enjoy your day. Not sure what else you can do.

Yeah, I didn't invite some family members that I knew I didn't want there. I told the respective parent that is related ahead of time & haven't discussed it with others unless they ask. So far, it hasn't been a problem.

Now, if they are already invited, You go ahead and just be a good host. Don't think about them too much, and use them to fill the less desirable seats in your venue.

There are lots of people who will tell you, if they are family you have to invite them. I don't feel that way. I am not inviting certain family members...even my sister because it is just a toxic relationship and if she is there I will spend more time wondering what she is doing than enjoying my own wedding. It's your wedding...invite only the people who have made a difference in your life in a positive way and whom you want to share the moment with.

If you already invited them, just let it go and move on. You can't change it now.

My FH has a HUGE family. His mom is close with them because they're her siblings but we're not inviting some of them because he hardly knows them. Basically, if we won't miss them at the wedding, we're probably not going to send them invites.

Jeanne said exactly what I was thinking. If you haven't invited them, politely tell the family members that want them invited that your budget doesn't have room to invite anyone else. It's simple. Be direct and to the point. They can't tell you what you can or can't afford.

I hope she didn't already invite them, the wedding is a year and a half away!

I had two unwanted guests that I absolutely hated paying for, but they were a necessary evil. It's a totally different situation than yours, but I had to suck it up. DH's mom is in a nursing home and completely reliant on other people to meet her basic needs. So in order for her to come, she needed to come with 2 aides from the nursing home. They weren't getting paid to help her, they were just people that volunteered because they like my MIL. I found out at the wedding that my MIL likes them so much because they are scum, just like her. They got wasted on our open bar and my mother had to confront them and tell the bar tenders to stop serving them. Their argument was they weren't getting paid but we argued back that they are still taking care of a person, regardless of whether their job is paying them.

As far as unwanted family members went, I invited them to be polite because that's just the way I am, and all of them declined. They didn't want to be there as much as I didn't want them there.

I found out when I went to a friend's wedding (he was the groom), that the bride didn't want me there. It was painfully obvious and I felt really bad about it. She sat us literally with kids and another friend of the groom's that she openly didn't like. We were seated RIGHT next to the speakers, so we couldn't talk at all and the music was hurting our ears. She didn't visit our table at all during the reception (the groom did though) and we never got a thank you note for the gifts we send them. I kind of wish she just hadn't invited me in the first place...

Just my opinion from someone who has been on the other side of things...

I havent sent out any invites yet. This is just somthing that had crossed my mind for when i do.... the ppl i dont want are my aunt/uncle (who my mom is super close with, i would never hear the end of it) and my FBIL and his girlfriend (they are just bad ppl and constantly on my nerves, but they are so close to the family i dont think i could get away with not inviting them.) Now i could be nice and smile for these ppl like i always do. But it would eat me alive inside. :/

Why don't you want to invite your aunt and uncle? And what does your FH think about not inviting his brother and her SO?

We didn't invite 3 out of my mom's 7 siblings because neither we nor her talk to them. Just don't invite them. @Shawna - that is so rude! I'm sorry that happened to you.

FH doesnt like his brother either. Its just our family thay would flip over it.... and i dont wnt my aunt/ uncle cuz they are nasty ppl, never liked them. And im constantly forced to be nice and mingle when shes a straight up Bitch! Lol sorry... end rant

I no longer have Facebook and I think that really helps me know I don't have to invite everyone. Particularly this one cousin who makes poor life choices.

If the idea of them not being there is worth the drama between your families, then go for it. If you don't want the fight leading up to it (which for a brother and aunt/uncle, it'd be a big issue for family),make a point to invite them, and don't think about it anymore. ever. Honestly, there are so many people there to celebrate with you, you won't notice them unless they cause a scene.

Who's paying for the wedding?

@Beth thank you. You make a good point. I know im thinking too much into it. Just bothers me... @princessconsuela my FH and I are paying for every thing

We invited them because it would have been a disaster if we did not. I'd rather lose a few battles if it means winning the war.

No you don't have to invite any of those people but cutting out blood relatives who have close relationships with people you care about (your parents) is a pretty bold move. You have to decide of that's a hill you want to die on.