Unwanted guests

They may dislike you as much as you dislike them and will RSVP "no" -- problem solved.

It's your wedding girl!! Not theirs .. you do you boo.

Your check? Your call. Yippee!

FH and I decided to invite our whole families, regardless of our feelings about them. We decided to enjoy the feeling of rising above it and the knowledge that we're the peace keepers and not the drama starters. It's all about your perspective! (And of course we're hoping these relatives just decline.)

I made two lists of guests- one that will get a save the date followed by an invitation and others that will just get an engagement announcement and a picture. You shouldn't have to pay for guests you don't want there, but don't cut them out entirely.

Since you're paying, don't invite them. Both of your money, both of you have every right to choose who you want or don't want in the wedding.

I didn't invite them and just dealt with the fallout. I explained we were having a small wedding and we simply couldn't invited everyone. Period. If anyone gave me grief at that point I just said that we didn't have the space. We were at capacity and if I added anyone else I would have to start cutting others. When my MIL said anything that worked well because she knew we already didn't even invite all the first cousins even. I was about to suggest she give HER seat up if she said anything else!

For us it was an aunt, that no one can stand being around, and my uncle, who seems to have jumped on the crazy train with her. My Dad exchanges a Happy Birthday e-mail with his brother most years, and that is the only contact our families have.

As it ended up, we didn't invite anyone under 21, including their 2 precious angels I had only met twice. We invited the aunt/uncle, but they boycotted our wedding, because their family does evvvvverything together. They were the only ones, out of over 250 invited guests, to never RSVP. Good riddance!

Well I'm stuck inviting certain family members because it will 'cause drama.' Just pretty much have to suck it up and not let it ruin by day!

It depends on who's paying. My mom and FI paying for most of it so I have to invite my annoying relatives in Chicago (I don't mind my uncle though, because he's her brother, but my cousins are crazy) and my other crazy cousin in SoCal (I've heard how horribly she treats my aunt aka my moms sister or her mom, and she's 38, still living with her and has absolutely nothing going on in her life)...but even if I was paying for most of it, these are the type of people who will raise hell if I don't invite them, even though I am not close to them. Their egos are that inflated. So I hope some of them don't show up!

I'm so glad I read these comments because I was definitely having the same dilemma!! I couldn't even go anywhere without someone asking for a invite

For me, a lot of the guests on my side are out of town so hopefully there's a chance they won't go. My mom and sister (MOH) aren't fond of these relatives either but always say "well they're family" and my sister said I have to invite them because it wouldn't be fair to them or to my mom (which is true) and it wouldn't be fair to me because they will talk s*** about me because that's the type of people they are. I don't post about wedding plans on Facebook a lot because I don't want people to think I'm a bridezilla/wedding obsessed and I don't want random people asking if they can come lol

I'll invite them with the wrong address thinking about the one I rather have them at my funeral that at my wedding!

I have an aunt and uncle who are crazy. I didn't invite them. Maybe they're mad, but they shouldn't be such jerks. If they weren't jerks, I'd have invited them.

First off: I let this issue plague me throughout wedding planning, right up until I put that last invitation through the postmaster. Not sure if it is getting to you as much as it did to me, but I can tell you through experience don't let it. I read way too much into it.

Really, at the end of the day, you need to feel that you did the right thing inside. You need to go with your gut feeling.

Example: My deceased's father's entire side of the family (I grew up with 12 cousins). One set, an aunt, and uncle/Godfather, with their 4 adult kids. The aunt (by marriage) caused a lot of heartache and problems after my dad died. Eventually, she basically dismissed me out of her life over something so stupid on facebook. I asked them kindly in a private message, bled my heart out to them in fact that it was hurtful, to please not "tag" me in pictures with my father's 2nd family, who let my father die in a backroom without taking care of him in his time of need, and were awful to me at my dad's funeral services. They took this to a whole new level and it turned out really bad. I thought it was ridiculous. Coming from an Italian family, family is supposed to be family. So, I did what I thought was the right thing. I invited them. They all declined, but most of my dad's family did come, except them. I am glad the other part of my dad's family knows that I invited them, and that they were the one's to decline. For myself, I felt like the better person.

Now, the question is will it actually ruin your day if you invited these people? For me, that was the deal breaker. We had one family member who was definitely not invited because they have a history of child sexual abuse! Nobody in that family was invited for the obvious. As far as the aunt that caused a lot of drama after my dad died, I didn't have a problem with my uncle/Godfather, and my cousins. So, if they decided to have come, I wouldn't have been affected by their presence. In the end, in my situation, I came out the better person, and they looked like they were the one's with the problem. Many people commented that my uncle/Godfather should be ashamed for not coming, and my dad's side of the family made subtle comments about them being miserable people. I was relieved when they declined too. So many emotions.

My FH and I are not inviting any of our aunts/uncles/cousins. Our best friends and their SOs, our immediate family members and their SOs and our grandparents, and in his case his God parents... that's all we're inviting.

My mother wants to invite everybody, but if I do that our guest list will be well over 300+, lord knows we can't afford that. I know for a fact that many won't show, but if I know they aren't coming, why spend the money on the invite and postage? So, mostly based on what we want to do and where, we have pared down our guest list to 66 people, including wedding party, bride and groom.

How many people are you inviting? TBH if you are inviting more than 100 people (both sides of family plus friends) you should suck it up and invite your aunt & uncle. Yes its your wedding day and you should be happy but I would take a minor annoyance instead of my parents & his being upset and disappointed and all the drama that follows. I would never hear the end of it including at the wedding.

Me and FH are paying for it all. But just like ur saying these are family members that will raise hell if i dont invite them.... i hate ppl so much somtimes lol....i could just smile like always and carry on. But i realy dont wana pay for ppl i hate! And unfortunately i know they will come just to be nosey or get a free meal....

Welcome to my world. Saying no the are not invited to my FMIL has caused some real issues. If you don't want them be prepared for some upset. I wasn't really ready for the responses I received about us not considering "her feelings" when she didn't consider mine. I'm sticking to my guns and saying no. Because she had 15 other people are her list that she wanted to invite. She told me to scrap them and not invite anyone at all. So I'm not until this get cleared up.