Unresponsive Bridesmaids

I would causally reach out to them just as friends and ask if they want to do something (totally unrelated to the wedding) and just hang out and see if they bring anything up about it.

View Quoted Comment Great suggestion, unfortunately we don't live in the same state.

View Quoted Comment That makes it hard, are they your friends or are they family? I had a somewhat similar situation, but not as extreme. I reached out about something unrelated to the wedding to show that I wasn’t just focused on that, and I was still their friend outside of wedding things, the wedding g came up organically in conversation and it ended up resolving things

I personally wouldn't ask them to step down. Technically, nobody in the bridal party is required to plan a shower or bachelorette. The only thing they're expected to do is buy the correct dress and stand with you at the wedding.

If you do want to remove your sisters, I would be prepared for your relationships with them to become strained. I hope you make the right decision!

View Quoted Comment You still have a bit before the wedding. I would call them as a friend nothing wedding related and see how they are. They don’t have to participate in shower or bachelorette party.

Your bridesmaids don’t have to help throw you parties if they don’t want to. Your wedding is also 10 months away so I’m not sure what the rush is. This typically isn’t even discussed until 4ish months before the wedding. Maybe you should reach out to your friends as a friend, not as a bride.

View Quoted Comment They're planning early to let everyone k ow what their responsibility is financially. It's not feasible for this particular group of people to find out they have to pay x out of dollars within 4 months.

At this point I'm questioning their friendship with me. I'm going to try to casually reach out but I can't stress about this. I have a lot of other things to worry about

Typically unless someone agrees to pay x amount of dollars you can't tell them they need to pay x amount of dollars. Until you speak to then you can't expect them to pay anything nore should you. If they aren't responding it could be they know you are going to ask and feel bad saying they can't.

That was rude to say especially when you don't know the context of the circumstances. I'm a very good friend. Too good people say, which always leads me to get taken advantage of. For example one of the sisters was my MOH along with my other friend. The sister was upset I chose the other girl to be her Co MOH and said she didnt like her anymore when previously they never had issues. Fast forward the sister stepped down as MOH and said the other girl should just do everything. So that's part of the reason I question our friendship. Shee doesn't call me as much as she used no, in fact not at all. I always have to reach out to her now.

Also we all went out of town as a bridal party to celebrate and bond. Since we all live in different states we picked a neutral place to meet up and got hotel. The sisters ended up having two guys come from out to town to meet up with them. Instead of spending time with the bridal party they hung out with them, made us late to see bridesmaids dresses because they were are brunch with the guys.

There's a lot more that's happened but ever since I been engaged. Things changed.

Note to self. No bridal party!

It sounds as if you're dealing with very immature, petty people. It's one thing to not respond to the MOH, it's a completely different thing for them not to respond to you as the bride. If they have accepted the role they are required to communicate concerning wedding things but more so because you're supposed to be friends. I do feel like a conversation is warranted not through text because things can get lost in translation. Give them a call and ask why they haven't responded to you, at this point it's way past a bachelorette party/wedding shower.

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Exactly ! Thank you for seeing things from my side. I don't feel like reaching out it;s exhausting always being the bigger person but I will call them both tonight and see what's going on. I don't want people in my wedding who i don't see myself talking to anymore in a year or so. I'd gladly replace them with my fiance's family members who have been there for him and I.

I ask this with all sincerity: Is demanding things of your bridesmaids a "thing" now? I was first married in the early 90's and I expected them to wear the dress and show up sober. I see over and over OVER all these posts about firing your attendants. Even yesterday we had breakfast with a couple who wed a week ago and the bride shared that she wanted to fire her maid of honor because she "was not stepping up and getting things done." So have expectations changed?

View Quoted Comment Honestly I've never been in a wedding party and there hasn't been many weddings in my family. I went to the internet to learn everything. Here is one of the articles I read. https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/the-ultimate-maid-of-honor-duties-checklist

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Wow - that list is about 30 things too long, lol!!! I will stand by my thoughts: Show up, be clean and pressed. No wonder there is so much drama!!! That is A LOT of stuff to be expected to do!

Hey girl! I have 3 sisters and totally understand you! Since they are your sisters, if you ask them to step down you risk not only causing drama with them, but with your family as well since at least in my family, everyone is nosy. I was ask them to have lunch or 3 way call them and tell them that as their sister, their actions have really hurt you and that you would totally understand if this just is not their thing, but that if they are going to stay in it, you would like a bit more effort since you would do the same for them on their special day.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Depending on how far away they are and what kind of job they have, even getting off for a rehearsal and coming to the wedding is a pretty big deal. My MOH is coming from Switzerland - I am over the moon that she's willing to make that trip.

Only other requirement I told them (other than show up, look nice in the dress, etc.) is to be kind and calming. That's more just how friends should be, but I just put out to them it's important for me to have lots of positivity.

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Girl don't listen to the people saying that they aren't responsible for certain things. Your party was picked for a reason. Im in the same boat and at this point, they can out their differences aside and do what you asked them to do, or be apart of the audience. But all that "they don't have to throw you this or that" is straight BS, for the simple fact that if it was that easy ANYONE could have been a BM.

View Quoted Comment FACTS!!!! Thank you.

View Quoted Comment My sister got married 16 years ago and she very much expected her bridal party to help. She yelled at me and said that I didn't help her with stuffing invitations, or making bubbles or whatever else she complained about (probably her shower). I was 17 and in High school while she was engaged so......