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Just Said Yes August 2019

Unplugged Ceremonies: Offensive or No?

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Jessica , on June 6, 2019 at 10:50 AM

This week I eluded to my wedding being an unplugged ceremony on Facebook. Someone had shared a compilation of photos detailing how special moments can be obscured by people being on their phones taking photos. I have decided to have an unplugged ceremony due to the fact that we’re paying a LOT for our photographer and videographer and if just seems rude to be on your phone during such an important moment. Anyway, my mom was very offended by the post and very offended at the idea o an unplugged ceremony. I have explained to her my reasoning and explained that it is only for the ceremony. I have never been rude in my intentions of having an unplugged ceremony, nor did I plan to inform my guests in a rude manner. Yet, my mom is livid and thinks the idea is very rude and offensive and has even publicly vowed on Facebook to not attend my wedding if it’s unplugged. Someone help me understand why my mom is so upset and if unplugged ceremonies truly are THAT offensive.

Thank you!

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65 Comments

Super December 2021
Casey · on June 6, 2019 at 1:45 PM
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Your mom is being so over the top dramatic and childish that I am just in awe. I think it's incredibly rude to have cell phones out during the ceremony. Personally, I'd reply and answer "good, if your phone's going to be out at my ceremony I don't want you there" but I don't put up with BS.
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Dedicated April 2019
Faith · on June 6, 2019 at 1:45 PM
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Haha! Funny but not funny. We had an unplugged ceremony and my now MIL was FURIOUS. Sobbed in the bathroom, so ridiculous. My thought is if you are that attached to your phone then stay home. We just asked people poltiley to put there phones away for the ceremony, most people respected that.
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Super November 2019
Katie · on June 6, 2019 at 1:51 PM
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I will be having a unplugged wedding as well and before the ceremony starts I will have someone announce as reminder to please put away all cellphones and other devices. My best friend got married last year and once they got their pro photos back there was 4 cell phones in their first kiss as Mr. and Mrs.
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VIP April 2019
Nikita · on June 6, 2019 at 1:52 PM
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.. I am utterly confused why she would be upset by this unless she thinks that making it public makes it sound like you're treating guests like kids? But then why would she refuse to come if you did that... that's a ridiculously overdramatic reaction....
But really, an unplugged ceremony is really important. Be present as a guest, not a makeshift photographer/videographer. >.<
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Devoted November 2019
Halle · on June 6, 2019 at 1:52 PM
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Flowing this because I have a feeling my mom would act similar but I do think people should just respect your day and wishes the ceremony isn’t even long lol
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Dedicated January 2020
Littlebride · on June 6, 2019 at 2:51 PM
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I guess, maybe because she wants to have pictures of the ceremony before you are able to get the professional pictures back ??
That would be my only guess as to why she's so upset.
She probably wants to look back on the moment right after the wedding is over and she feels offending that you're not allowing her to have pictures of your ceremony on her phone.... idk that's my only guess. But ask her maybe if you two talk about what's bothering her you can make her feel better.
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Super April 2020
Emily · on June 6, 2019 at 2:59 PM
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Your mom is going overly dramatic and that's not fair to you. This isn't her wedding. Unplugged ceremonies make total sense. I've heard horror stories of special moments being ruined by guests stepping in the aisle to take their own pictures, I've even witnessed it first hand as a guest. We're having one simply because my FH's dad would Facebook live the entire thing if he could and we are not about that. I'm sure people will still take our their phones to snap some pictures but at least they'll know that we've asked them not to and it's on them not to listen to us.
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VIP May 2020
Destiny · on June 6, 2019 at 3:04 PM
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The only reason i could see her being upset is if she thinks she wont get any ceramony pics, in which case just assure her you'll send her some pics from the photographer. Heck i let my family pick thru my epics and now i have like 5 need to go get reprints of all of my faves!
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Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 6, 2019 at 3:18 PM
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Not offensive at all! We are doing an unplugged ceremony. I think it is so rude and tacky to pull your phone/iPad/whatever out during such an important occasion. Unless the couple has stated they don’t mind or they don’t have a professional photographer or something like that, then I find the use of electronic devices during a wedding ceremony to be completely disrespectful.
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Expert October 2019
Nykole · on June 6, 2019 at 3:19 PM
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I also don’t understand why your mother is so upset by this decision. Does she not completely understand what the concept is of an unplugged ceremony or something? It’s just not necessary for guests to take pictures and video when you have a photographer and videographer present.
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Devoted May 2022
Madison · on June 6, 2019 at 3:31 PM
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There’s nothing offensive about this at all. We are going to do this because I think it’s rude for people to be on their phones during the ceremony. It’s bit that hard to have them put it away for the duration of the ceremony. Phones are distracting and they ruin the pictures your photography is trying to take
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on June 6, 2019 at 3:45 PM
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Your mom is being wild. It's not rude or unusual the flash is known to ruin photography done professionally. Tell everyone it's unplugged but be ready for people to ignore that rule.
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Dedicated July 2019
Umgani · on June 6, 2019 at 8:43 PM
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We're going to attempt to have one, but we'll see if anyone listens. I feel a little sheepish asking because I've definitely taken photos during the ceremony (but we've never been to an unplugged ceremony, FWIW).
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 6, 2019 at 8:51 PM
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Our sign for our unplugged ceremony read: "Welcome to our unplugged ceremony! We invite you to be fully present for our ceremony. Please turn off all phones and cameras until you exit the ballroom. We want to see your faces, not your devices!" My brother (also our officiant) also made an announcement before the processional explaining that people having phones and cameras out would actually get in the way of the photographer and videographer, so to please respect the bride and groom's wishes and keep them away until after the ceremony. From my perspective (granted, I was mostly just looking at my husband and I was shaking the entire time hahaha) it looked like everyone listened! In our video I actually saw my aunt took out her phone and took a picture of my mom at one point. But it was pretty subtle and she had the phone low. So... at least no one did it conspicuously lol.
No one seemed offended by it at all! And soo many people were telling us that we had literally had the most beautiful wedding ceremony they had ever seen. My cousin said that he had never seen his dad cry until our ceremony, and so many other people were telling us that they cried and how amazing our ceremony and our vows were. I really don't think people would have been able to get so emotionally involved in the ceremony if they had been watching it from behind phones and cameras!
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Devoted August 2019
Katie · on June 7, 2019 at 11:55 AM
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My mom doesn't get the concept, either. However, she didn't threaten to not come, I'm sorry that was said to you. Maybe try to sit down with her and show her some of the pictures like from the post. Give her a chance to explain why she would be offended, then talk to her about how it would make you feel to get photos back with people on their phones.
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Devoted October 2019
Rachel · on June 7, 2019 at 6:51 PM
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WOW, I'm in shock after reading your post. That's a terrible thing for your mother to say, at least in my opinion. This is YOURs & FH wedding and if people can't make it that's understandable but they can see the FABULOUS photos that your PAID photographers will not, not the LIVE stream of your ceremony.
I don't find it rude that you let it be known that it will be an unplugged ceremony. However, I'm curious, has your Mom offered any insight as to why she is so offended about the wedding being unplugged?
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Devoted October 2019
Rachel · on June 7, 2019 at 6:53 PM
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Sounds like you had a beyond amazing ceremony Gen! That's awesome. The rest of us can only hope our guests will be as compliant to our request and moved by the words we say.
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Expert June 2019
Sara · on June 7, 2019 at 7:11 PM
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What?! I am SO surprised and confused by her reaction. Why on Earth does she feel that way? I think she's being extremely unreasonable. It is completely and totally within your right to have an unplugged ceremony, they are more common and more pleasant nowadays anyway. It's not like any guests will even be surprised by it...

I'd keep calm and stand your ground. If she really wants to make this the line that can't be crossed... Well that sounds like her problem. If you keep calm and handle it well, no one will fault you in this scenario, and maybe she'll back down
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Dedicated October 2021
Allison · on June 8, 2019 at 6:34 PM
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There's absolutely nothing offensive about having an unplugged wedding.
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Dedicated October 2026
Karen · on June 8, 2019 at 6:49 PM
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We are having an unplugged ceremony, I don't want any distractions to occur or cause interruptions from our very detailed and unique ceremony. However, I am encouraging everyone to take part in capturing candid moments and sharing them throughout the evening. We're having this screen monitor at the wedding were guests are able to text their photos and they will appear on the monitor all night. Yes, we will have a photographer as well but I want guests to be able to capture their own memories as well.
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