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Just Said Yes August 2019

Unplugged Ceremonies: Offensive or No?

Jessica , on June 6, 2019 at 10:50 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 65
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This week I eluded to my wedding being an unplugged ceremony on Facebook. Someone had shared a compilation of photos detailing how special moments can be obscured by people being on their phones taking photos. I have decided to have an unplugged ceremony due to the fact that we’re paying a LOT for our photographer and videographer and if just seems rude to be on your phone during such an important moment. Anyway, my mom was very offended by the post and very offended at the idea o an unplugged ceremony. I have explained to her my reasoning and explained that it is only for the ceremony. I have never been rude in my intentions of having an unplugged ceremony, nor did I plan to inform my guests in a rude manner. Yet, my mom is livid and thinks the idea is very rude and offensive and has even publicly vowed on Facebook to not attend my wedding if it’s unplugged. Someone help me understand why my mom is so upset and if unplugged ceremonies truly are THAT offensive.

Thank you!


Latest activity by Whitney, on June 12, 2019 at 10:05 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    Your mom is being super over dramatic. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your guests, especially your parents, to be present in the moment instead of on their phones.
    • Reply
  • OnCloudRawls
    VIP June 2019
    OnCloudRawls ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree!! It’s your wedding!
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Omg. Your mom is being ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with it. And I’ve seen some emotional moments and great professional photo ops ruined by rude guests playing paparazzi.
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    Your mom is way out of line here! There's nothing wrong with an unplugged ceremony - guests can survive without their phones for an hour or so. Keep it unplugged if that's what you wish!

    • Reply
  • Yoice
    VIP March 2019
    Yoice ·
    • Flag
    Wow she’s taking it too far. Is your wedding afterall and you should do as you wish. Anyone can be offend by it expect your mom. She’s not there to take a ton of pictures she should be there to enjoy your wedding and your vows. She needs to relax. Let her cool down and explain it to her. Show her pics of what you mean.

    I had an unplugged ceremony and people still took their phones out to take pictures. My own dad was taking pictures and sending it to those family members that didn’t make it. I wasn’t offended it and I read people don’t follow your rules but at least they’re mindful of standing in the middle of the aisle to take your picture. They do it more discreet. But don’t expect people to follow it to the tea. Just don’t.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    Not offensive at all.

    in fact it makes total sense. it's a distraction and you don't want an off chance of someone forgetting to silence their phones or anything like that

    • Reply
  • Hillary
    Expert October 2021
    Hillary ·
    • Flag
    I agree with Caytlyn that your mom is being extremely dramatic. It is definitely not an unreasonable request. We are having an unplugged ceremony as well and I can't imagine anyone having a problem with it. People can live without their phones for 20-30 minutes. Did your mom give you a specific reason for being so mad about it?

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Your mom is overreacting. At the last few weddings I’ve attended that didn’t announce it was unplugged I saw people get in the aisle holding up an iPad as the bride was walking down! I can’t imagine how bad those professional pictures turned out.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    It's pretty typical to ask people to not be on their phones during a ceremony, at least in our generation. People block the photographer & videographer with their phones and it's completely unnecessary. I'd just show your mom the pictures of what happens when you don't say anything. Our officiant is going to say something along the lines of "the bride & groom don't mind if you take pictures, but please be mindful of the photographer and videographer and keep your arms/hands down and stay out of the aisle" then our DOC will tap people if they keep doing it haha!

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry she’s being so over dramatic about this, hopefully in time she’ll come around and realize that your reasons for wanting an unplugged ceremony make sense. I will say, from what I’ve seen even when people have signs up or have their officiant make an announcement, there’s always going to be a few people who still pull their phones out 🙄 but I think it’s still enough to make those with an ounce of common sense think twice about it. I’ve seen a cute sign that said something along the lines of “please don’t take pics until we’re announced Mr. & Mrs.” it was cute and rhymed lol. As for your mom, has she give any explanation as to why she feels this way about having an unplugged ceremony or are there any other guests who you think will be super offended? One thing we’re doing that might appease her is having wallet sized prints made to send out in our thank you cards (they’re already included in our photography package, but I’m sure you can have them printed at Walgreens pretty cheep). Since our ceremony is (hopefully lol) unplugged we’re going to use a pic from that in our thank you’s So guest will have a pic from the ceremony that wasn’t taken on a crummy cellphone camera. (Sidenote, and I’m sorry this is long, but I feel like it’s always the older relatives taking pics on their older phones with the 2mp camera that doesn’t even come out good anyways lol)
    • Reply
  • Pattie
    Expert June 2020
    Pattie ·
    • Flag

    Did she give a reason for why she felt offended? It is unfortunate that she had such a public declaration of unnecessary drama. I would stay firm. We are having an unplugged day as well. I'm even going to have the officiant make it into a playful joke about me being a teacher and an expert at taking away phones. lol

    • Reply
  • Jazmin
    Super April 2019
    Jazmin ·
    • Flag

    Well, I can testify that cellphones ruin professional videos and pictures. I politely asked my guests not to film or take pictures during the ceremony. Only a few people followed my instructions, those who did look happy and delighted in the videos and pictures, the rest look like zombies looking at their phones. My mom, who was seated on the first row, even picked up her phone in the middle of the ceremony Smiley atonished . You can set your rules and in the end people do whatever they want but I wish guests understood the difference between actually paying attention to the ceremony and being looking at the phone.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I think having it and unplugged ceremony is a great idea. And it’s unfortunate that it actually Hass to be requested of guests. Prior to the ceremony beginning, I’d like our officiant to mention some words about enjoying the ceremony celebration in the moment and not through the screens of their phones. I feel like people miss what’s going on (at weddings and almost all events) because they’re too busy trying to get the best angle, lighting, zoom in, etc.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    I literally just bought a cute sign yesterday that welcomes guests to our ceremony but also reminds them it is unplugged. This will be at the entrance when people arrive. It's not offensive. Your mom is acting strangely about this. It's soooo rude when people are on their phones for events like this (reception is fair game though for me). Worse when it's a giant iPad lol

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    I can't help you understand why she is so upset, because I don't understand. It is NOT rude to have an unplugged ceremony. In fact, it's rude of guests to disrupt things with their phones & cameras. If your mom want's to be that dramatic, then I would simply reply with "you will be missed."

    • Reply
  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
    • Flag
    No, it's not offensive at all. Your mom is being old fashioned. You're paying alot for nice photos and video, that'll be ruined if you have people moving all over to get photos on their phones. We will be having an unplugged ceremony, it's a wonderful idea.
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    She publicly vowed on Facebook? She needs to mature a little bit.
    I don't see anything wrong with your plans. I plan to do this too.
    I just don't understand why she's flipping out about this.
    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2021
    Mari ·
    • Flag
    I am also having an unplanned ceremony, we are paying way too much to have people’s phones or cameras in the way of life could be really beautiful shots. No disrespect to your mom but she is being super petty, This is your special day and her threatening you to get what she wants is not cool. The fact that she gave you a very public ultimatum is absurd, I hope it all works out for you.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP June 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I’m sorry that you have someone overreacting, especially sorry that it’s your mom.

    Our officiant will ask that no digital devices be used during our ceremony. We are also asking that nobody post photos of us until we have gotten to. This is standard in my family, which makes up about half the guest list, so really it’s being said for other guests. Also I am using Joy for my website and it will push a text to everyone 15 minutes prior to the ceremony beginning asking them to put away phones, and I have unplugged ceremony on my website. So they’ll be told at least 3 times. I also told my photographers if someone gets their phone out I’m fine with them asking that they put it away
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Wow. You're mom's reaction is surprising---and very dramatic. Unplugged ceremonies are not offensive--they are actually the opposite. I'm surprised that someone from your mom's generation would be offended by this request. I am an older bride, myself, and have noticed that only in recent years has this become a trend--because it's necessary. Back when I was growing up, there were no cell phones, tablets, etc., so guests had to be in the moment with the couple getting married. Now, technology has created such a distraction in everyday life, it's no surprise that people are on their phones everywhere, in school, at work, at weddings.

    But I don't want my professional ceremony photos to be ruined by people holding up their phones, and I don't want to look back at those photos and realize that my guests were looking at their phones rather than being in the moment with us. It's twofold, really. You want guests to be in the moment with you, and you don't want photos of the ceremony with a background of a bunch of people holding their phones up. It's really quite simple. And, you're not confiscating everyone's phone for the day, you're simply asking them to put it away for a short period of time. Mom needs to get over herself.

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