Unnecessary Splurges?

View Quoted Comment Love that you are supporting local! Especially after the hard year everyone has had

I'm considering doing color changing cups as a wedding favor because I think they're super cute and wouldn't mind having 20 of them at home if they got left behind, but I'm personally so against favors because no one takes them that I'm having a hard time justifying it.

We're doing cookies as our main desert instead of cake, and I'm trying to decide on adding ice cream to it or not.

We're getting married at a zoo, so one really cool extra we're doing is having animals visit!

I know we'll have an African Penguin there, and hoping for a binturong, lynx, and maybe a burmese python (purely to play a prank on our parents and grandparents).

View Quoted Comment I’m so jealous of all these weddings with animals!

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It was my favorite thing about working there! They're one of (the only?) places in the U.S. where you can swim with African Penguins and they have one trained(ish) to walk down the aisle. We're skipping that extra in favor of possibly having our dogs walk down instead (plus the bird usually gets distracted half-way down and darts into the aisles ).

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I feel you on the favors. I am on the fence about favors - I considered having an array of stoneware mugs, all different (no names or dates - just mugs like you'd use for coffee), and tell guests to pick one that suits their fancy. I feel like everyone uses mugs. But I worry people wouldn't take them, and that would not only be an expensive leftover, but I don't have room in my cabinets for a bunch of leftover mugs.

There aren't any items that are unnecessary for us but we feel like we still have to have it/them!

All the thing you mentioned are completely unnecessary for us and we are skipping them plus:

* Before the ceremony: Fancy, stunning save the date,invites,RSVP cards; Pre-wedding parties other than the rehearsal dinner (I know the couple doesn't plan them, doesn't host/doesn't pay but we are still skipping them), wedding day gifts for each other and for parents.

* At the ceremony : 1 billion flowers; an arch; an aisle runner; decor items for the chairs; the wedding program confettis or other stuff thrown at the newlyweds as they are leaving at the ceremony .

* At the reception: 1 billion flowers; the guests book;chairs covers; fancy,large,stunning centerpieces; the candles on tables (unless the venue doesn't include light in the package LOL) ,welcome bags ;favors;flowers or other decor on the cake; favors (edible or not); candy bar, late night snacks,sparkler for the grand exit extra entertainment such as a photobooth (it's not like smartphones,pads/tablets weren't real, right??? 😃 ) and the after-party trend: those who want an after-party can plan one ... without us.

Haaaaa!!!! We’re including all kinds of extra sh!!!t 😂 and also have 5 different gifts that we’re giving guests throughout the night. But it creates the overall experience that what we want for our wedding and for our guests. But, honestly, most everything pertaining to a wedding are “extras”. The basics of what couples need are an officiant for the ceremony... and seating, food and drinks (if you’re hosting a reception). Everything else is technically extra and the list of possible extras are endless when it comes to modern day weddings.

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We are doing this too!!! It's something I saw on Pinterest ages ago and always wanted then when we were touring our venue they mentioned it as an upgrade and I was like SIGN ME UP. It will be perfect for our October wedding and I think it will be a huge hit! Not to mention it comes with a bonfire which has it's own perks!

View Quoted Comment Ie never seen multiple gifts given to guests throughout the night. How unique and fun! Is there some sort of master plan that dictates when the gifts are given? Do they correlate with things happening during the night?

We are having a raw bar. So unnecessary but so tasty

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I have never heard of a cigar rolling station before. That sounds amazing!!

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What are your gifts? I love gifts, so this sounds like my dream wedding to attend as a guest.

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Well.... let me start by admitting the obvious... Yes, it’s definitely overboard 🤣Lol!!! But, we only invited 65 guests, and I’m all about creating an experience. So, yes, they correlate with things happening throughout the evening. But, long story short, our venue was a former nightclub and has a vintage 1920s/speakeasy style throughout (with 3 different areas that we’re using for the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception). So, from the moment our guests walk in, until the end of the night, the venue already makes them feel like they’re be back in time. So my idea was simply to add onto that experience throughout the night. Plus we’re having a destination wedding in Vegas, our new wedding date is 10/30/21 and this is a second marriage for both FH and I. So we’re really just having fun with it!!

So, when guests first walk in they’ll pick up their escort “card” which is a vintage style key with a tag attached. On one side it has the guest’s name and table number. On the other side it says “The Password Is: WELCOME. **Shhh, this key is also a bottle opener”. It’s the first thing they’ll receive and it’s a welcome key to enter our wedding and also a nod to the speakeasy environment 😉. It’s Vegas... so, in keeping with the vintage vibe, we hired 2 old-school “cigar/cigarette“ models (complete with the trays) and, as guests move from the ceremony to cocktail hour, they’ll pass out the next small gift to the ladies only (and they’ll also be available for photos too). Near the end of dinner, they’ll come out again and pass out cigars to all of our guests and then leave for the night. We’ll also have custom wooden “placecards” sitting on the charger plates and it’s personalized with each guests’ name etched out (I selected wood because there’s dark wood paneling on the walls throughout the venue). At the end of the night, as guests leave, they’ll receive a mini moonshine bottle of liquor by Ole Smokey. It’s their “Blue Flame” flavor which matches the color of the reception and ties back to the speakeasy setting (we have to pass them out last because guests can’t open outside liquor in the venue).

But all of our guests have to travel, stay the weekend, take time out of their schedules, spend money, etc. simply to celebrate with us. Therefore, we want to say “thank you” for the love, “thank you” for supporting us, “thank you” for the prayers, “thank you” being here. So it may seem overboard, but I don’t think it’s too much when our wedding would really be an elopement if our guests weren’t there. So they will receive 5 thank you gifts at the wedding (and we’re also having a welcome mix ‘n mingle for guests the evening before the wedding). Since it’s Vegas, we also hired a magician who will walk around performing slight-of-hand illusions during cocktail hour.

We’re calling them “splurges”. But if couples set the right budget for themselves, then it’s not a splurge... it’s just an item from the wedding planning list. When we set our budget, we immediately viewed that money as gone and “wasted”. FH and I can’t cry over the money that we both agreed to blow on a wedding! But I’m keeping it 💯 because we all know that there are a million other things we could do with the money, other than spend it on a single night/weekend. Therefore I’m quick to tell stressed out brides to only host a wedding that they can truly and comfortably afford. I view wedding budgets like gambling.... only spend what you’re willing to lose. Happy Planning!!! 🤩

View Quoted Comment I added a reply to that same question right above. 😉

View Quoted Comment Oh my goodness your wedding sounds like so much fun! I’m jealous of your guests 😂 I can’t wait to see pictures!!

View Quoted Comment Awww... thank you! I’m excited and can’t wait to see it all come together. Our venue’s capacity decreased at the beginning of the year and I looked into an intimate back-up plan in Hawaii. So I’m thankful that capacity increased and we get to move forward with our original plans again.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely LOVE this! Especially how all the gifts/experiences tie into the vibe of the venue! There was obviously a lot of thought put into all of it. We have the exact same mindset with our wedding. We will be having multiple “splurges” that center around our guest’s experiences. We will also be doing additional “splurges” for the members of our wedding party. Is it “extra”? Sure. But FH & I both agreed one of the most important aspects for us was creating an amazing experience for our loved ones, who have loved and supported us throughout the years, and have taken time out of their schedules to celebrate with us.

Congrats!!! I’m sure your wedding will be a great time! Creating an nice experience is always special and memorable. I realize that there’s tons of wedding “inspiration” on Pinterest and on this app, etc. But I notice that instead of the pics being used as “inspiration”, too many brides use it as a blueprint and copy every...single... aspect. They struggle with thinking out of the box or building upon inspiration. So they get stuck having a wedding that looks the same as all other weddings being planned that year. Even with more traditional style weddings (or lower budgets) couples can still create ways to make it stand out. Our guests have been to plenty of weddings, so we didn’t want to bore them with something that they’ve already experienced many times before 🥱😴.


Best wishes!!!