Unity and vows to step children

Awww... we don't have any children, but I just wanted to say that I think that is such a lovely and beautiful idea!

I had thought of doing something with my future step-children. However, the oldest (18) will not be attending the wedding. He's on the other side of the country and it is not possible for him to take the time off. This is something that I had found and re-worked for us. We are not going to do it now because it wouldn't feel right without all three of them there.

Minister: Rob and Kimi do not enter this commitment alone. Rob brings with him three amazing and vibrant sons, each with unique talents and abilities. FSS1, FSS2, and FSS3, please come forward and stand between your dad and Kimi. Kimi joins this family circle as your dad’s wife, as a friend that you can count on, and a woman who loves all of you very much.

Rob: FSS1, FSS2, and FSS3, I want you to know how lucky I feel every day just knowing you. You are the energy that flows through my veins. You inspire me and I can’t imagine the man that I would have become without all three of you in my life. Thank you for accepting Kimi into our world. Nobody knows more than you how she has been there for all of us. You are amazing young men and I am proud to call you my sons. I love you.

Kimi: Rob, as the two of us are joined on this day, we become a part of each other: your feelings, sorrows, joys, & cares become my feelings, sorrows, joys, & cares; and your children become my children. With your help and guidance, I promise to be a true and faithful wife and parent, always there to comfort you, rejoice with you, and endure all the complexities of life that we will face together as a family. My love for you and your children is pure and unshakable, and I hereby commit myself to all of you from this day forward. FSS1, FSS2, and FSS3, thank you for sharing Daddy with me, loving me, and allowing me to love you. I was not there when you took your first steps, but I promise that now I will love and support you in every step that you take in your life. The four of you are the most important people in my life. I love you.

Minister: “These padlocks symbolize your love, solid, secure, safe and protected. Rob and Kimi, you are combining your strengths and hopes in this marriage. Your decision to marry will also shape and deeply affect the lives of your children. Today we acknowledge and celebrate not only the creation of a marriage, but also the creation of a family. Will each of you please lock onto each other’s lock, creating a circle, thus, locking in your individual selves to symbolize the new family. As your family is a circle of strength, joined in love and kept together by God, so are these padlocks… locked together forever. These keys will now be released to the universe and you will be linked to the intertwined padlocks as a memento of your marriage ceremony.” (the keys are then destroyed so that the locks can't be undone). I had planned to mount them on a board and hang it in the house.

@Kimi-

That made me tear up! Such beautiful and perfect words. If the eldest son were attending would you have wrote personal vows to the boys?

@Kimi thanks for sharing that...I have been trying to figure out how I can incorporate my 3 daughters in the ceremony since we are a "package deal". Gonna have to speak with my officiant and FH about this type of possibility.

Following! I'm getting a 2 for 1 deal with FH who has a 4 year old son. It never even crossed my mind to include him in the vows but I think it's a great idea.

Colleen:

This part might sound silly but I am letting her pick the color of the sand she will be pouring as well

I like the lock thing. We are talking about family sand thing. I have a daughter and FH has 2

@kimi....how incredibly beautiful!! My FH & I are both bringing a son into this marriage. Both son are grown men. Instead if having a traditional wedding with BM & GM we decided to have our sons stand together with us. FH's son has his own son who will also be our ring bearer. When kids are involved no matter their age they are becoming part of that family too. It's not just about the couple it's about becoming a family! Love your idea!!!

OP...I think it's wonderful that you want to include your soon to be step daughter.

I have 2 girls from my previous relationship (8 & 14). We found engraved sterling silver rings from Tiffany and after our vows, but before being pronounced, FH is going to make his promise to my girls and give them each their ring.

I'll be doing a "vow" to my step son. FH is really excited about it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get down to his level in my dress though but I'm gonna try!

I am thinking I will pour my sand and repeat what my officiant has to say and then like @Becoming a Mrs said try* lol to bend down to eye level and read my personal vows to her! and maybe I can give her a piece of jewelry as @AMLF FH is doing!

Following!

My FSCs are 24,19, and 14. I plan on making a vow to them, but I do not want to pressure them to do likewise. It would put them on the spot. I would love to give each a token, though.

@UTJW I think you should do what Kimi did! That sounds like something that what suit your needs!

@kimi I love that! FH is adopting my daughter once we get married and I've been thinking of ways to incorporate her into the cermony. I got teary eyed reading it

I love this kind of thing. Not perfected, but off the top of my head, I'd say something like this (and if the child can climb a flight of stairs at the altar to be at your eye-level, it would probably be more comfortable than you kneeling down to meet their eye.

"Precious Son/Daughter of My Husband: You are, and always will be, the child of my beloved. Before I knew him, he knew you. I vow, this day, to honor you with all of the respect, esteem, and preference to which you are entitled. I vow, this day, to be your friend, your supporter, your encourager, and your defender, and I will be ever mindful of the role that has been bestowed upon me, by love. I vow to be a woman on whom you can always rely to defend you, fight for you, and give to you my undivided attention. I am here for you, and I always will be. Your interests will be paramount in my life, and I will expend my earthly goods in your behalf. I honor your mother, and I will continue to honor her in word and deed, from this day forward. Thank you for opening your heart and trusting me enough to let me in. For all of my days, I will wear the title of step-mother with pride and appreciation. Today, I pledge my oath to you and enter into a permanent covenant of love and support with you."

Beautiful! I love it!

Centerpiece, you just made ME cry. Think I'm going to have to work that for us (since my original one isn't going to work now).

I love all of these! My step son is so excited for our wedding, I can't wait!

I am doing a vow to my FSDs. Feel free to yank this! I found it (somewhere...here?) and absolutely fell in love with it.

SD1, 2, and 3,

I was not there when you took your first steps or when your first tooth came in, but I promise to never miss another first. I vow to love you as if you were my own. I am not here to replace anyone and I promise to never try to. I simply vow to be the best I can to you and your dad. I vow to be fair and honest with you. I vow to support you in every way. I vow to protect you and to cherish each and every moment I spend with you. But most of all I vow to love you unconditionally. I am so thankful that you are going to share your dad with me. You have touched my heart in a way you cannot understand. On this day that I marry your dad, I marry you too.