Uninterested MIL

We've also talked about the wedding in general like the dinner menu, venue, etc. She's definitely been inquisitive about what my parents are giving us..

Definitely still give her a gift! What you gift to your parents is between you and your parents - remember that. it's best not to think about it as a 'thank you for helping me' gift. I've always thought wedding gifts to parents were about your relationship and what they mean to you - very personal. Like a 'thank you for raising the love of my life'. So basically - what she did or didn't contribute should have nothing to do with her gift

If your FI said not to expect anything, that's a good indication that you'll need to keep your expectations low. Sounds like it's just how they are.

It sounds like she is expressing interest in your wedding as she has asked questions and is willingly to talk about wedding plans. What exactly are you expecting? ETA: you seem a bit salty that she isnt financially contributing...

So she is interested in what you're doing. You're mad that she isn't contributing financially though right? She really isn't required to contribute. People pay for their own weddings unless someone offers to help.

@Elphaba - just a slip of the words! It's 2 am here lol forgive me! I was just referring to the 'uninterested' feeling OP thinks her MIL has about the wedding. Should have been more clear! Thanks :-)

I'm happy that my FMIL isn't helping me. I like things done my way and that's exactly what I'm doing. The less ppl that interfere with my field of vision the better lol And 100% agree with sass.... No one will care as much as you do.

I get what you are saying a wedding comes with a lot of planning decisions and it's nice to have help other than just talking about it. Doesn't mean she needs to pay she can help with planning with out paying for everything

Mine is uninvolved, I have mixed views. She is opinionated then when I try to involve her she just speaks another language to her daughter, super annoying but I have learned that it's our day not hers if she doesn't want to help her call but have mercy if she has one negative critical thought that has to do with their culture, the questions I constantly ask about.

It's YOUR wedding....expect nothing from anyone, it's no one's responsibility but your's and FH. You will want everyone to be excited about your wedding as much as you are but just a little hint, they won't be.

Mine isn't doing anything. She asked how much people my mother is allowing her to have. I told her I am paying for this wedding and not my parents. She offered to address the invites. My invitation suite comes with the addresses. I know she is buying the cake for my surprise shower, shhh!

People say that I am lucky his family doesn't want to be involved. I just wish they would show some interest!

The thing is, nobody is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. I live with my parents and at first, they went wedding crazy with me - I caught mom on Pinterest looking at wedding stuff, we looked at venues and dresses - now all that is done and everyone is tired of hearing about it. I am excited because I am marrying my best friend but nobody else is (and I don't expect them to be). ESPECIALLY if they live across the country. There is no way she can help you plan because she lives so far away. And for some parents (even if their kids have moved out and away) weddings are hard because they feel like their kids are leaving them in some way! Don't take it personally. Just keep doing your thing and don't worry when nobody else is super excited!

My fmil is great.

I'm happy we aren't getting any financial help from anyone. It's our wedding, why should other people be responsible for paying up? Power to the people who have parents helping but you shouldn't expect it. Besides, with just me and FH paying its all about our vision and we can do whatever we want. There has been ZERO drama and NO stress. Why? No one else has a say and I don't involve others in planning. I think it's awesome.

ETA: spelling

My FH and I have been together for over 6 years. His parents were pushing and pushing for us to get married. He proposed in his own time and I loved every moment.

Now, there is ZERO interest in the wedding. We have talked about venues, basically informing them of our choice, and his mom said OK and walked out of the room. We showed her our engagement photos and she said OH and then changed the subject. They have also said nothing about the rehearsal dinner, which is fine as we will do it ourselves. But, it is very frustrating. I understand completely. I am so sorry.

I have no future in-laws. My Fi was orphaned with no siblings. My own parents are nearing retirement, so while they have offered to contribute some, I said no. They can't afford it. My Fi was laid off a few months ago, so I am paying for the wedding 100% by myself. From time to time, I do wish I had help (particularly from my Fi), but then I remind myself that all you need to get married is you, your Fi, and an officiant. That's it. Everything else is what you WANT and we live in a world in which what you want costs money. If you don't have the money, live without it. If you do have the money and you want it, then you pay for it. Expecting anyone else to contribute financially so that you get everything you want is just setting yourself up for disappointment because it's no one else's responsibility.

Eh, I don't care for my MIL so I didn't mind that she wasn't involved!

It takes all kinds.....you either get the over-involved noodge or the indifferent.

You have to realize that all families are different. My family is very involved in the wedding and want to help. My parents were very generous and gave us money to put towards the wedding. FH parents have not. It's not a priority to them. And that's okay. Because it's not their wedding.

What she did or did not contribute has no bearing on the gift she gets. The gift is for raising her son to be a man you want to marry. Clearly you want to marry him so she deserves a good gift for that!