Uninterested MIL

Yes, I get it. My future MIL, basically pretended to be interested but has yet to do ANYTHING to really help. She painted Mason jars and purchased them but NOTHING else. We have paid for everything aside from the help of a few clothes friends. She hasn't even called her son in weeks to ask about how thing are going, we are about 6-7 weeks out, 42 days. I haven't really heard a peep out of her. I'm kind of surprised and super disappointed. Isn't she excited for the biggest day of her sons life? Idk, guess not. It's weird!

Are others supposed to be helping you or something?

Im not sure what advice you are looking for?

We're paying 100% of the wedding ourselves like many people on this site and no one else in our families care since it's not their wedding so..... repeat after me "No one will care about my wedding as much as I do."

My FMIL is not doing too much and I don't mind at all! It's nice of you to move your wedding to the east coast. Easier said than done, but don't let other peoples attitudes affect your engagement and planning..

You seem to be upset about her not contributing financially. It's not her duty or obligation to contribute financially.

As Sass said, no one will care as much as you.

Maybe, it's not about what she's "not doing" maybe just her lack of interest is frustrating. I think you want everyone to be excited as this is one of the biggest days of your life. I'm not sure if you want her to do anything or just care more and want to be involved. But if that's it I completely get it. Sometimes it's not about what you can "contribute" but it's about being supportive.

I guess I'm not really expecting anything. I think it would have been nice if she offered to at least contribute to the rehearsal dinner. Isn't it tradition the parents of the groom pay? They are certainly onboard with the tradition that the bride and/or her family pay for the wedding...

We are fortunate enough to have some help with out wedding from our parents but we are still paying for 75% of it ourselves. Even if they weren't helping we would have the wedding we can afford and just be happy to have them there to celebrate with us.

People can be supportive and happy for you without jumping for joy though. Not everyone shows emotion like that. Either way, no one owes anything to a bride/groom just because they're getting married. Not even a reaction. It's just something people need to be more realistic about.

I wish my FMIL was interested our wedding, but she isn't. I get it, it sucks But it's not her wedding, and I don't have any expectations. I reached out once, to share details about the venue so they can make their travel arrangements and she didn't respond. FH isn't even sure she will come, which I know will really hurt his feelings. But at the end of the day, if she comes or doesn't, we will be married and that's all that matters. Much love to you

Yeah the financial strain of a wedding is definitely enough to bring ya down.. I'm sorry she isn't helping out!

A lot of traditions have come and gone. It used to be a tradition that you didn't live with your FH before getting married. It's YOUR wedding so YOU'RE responsible for everything. No one should be expected to help in any way

Yes, it is nice of parents to offer to financially contribute. BUT, they are under no obligation to do so. In what ways do you wish she showed interest and support?

Girl, some people are super negative. I hope things get better. Sending positives vibes your way because there are a ton of negative ones floating around. Either way, your wedding day will be perfect.

Thanks all. I just know if I were a parent I'd want to be a part of my child's wedding, financially, emotionally, whatever. My future in laws are acting as regular guests (who are inconvenienced by the necessary travel)

I understand what you're saying. We're paying 100% of ours, and we expected to from the beginning. We don't like having people pay for our things. With that said, it would be nice if my FMIL actually showed some kind of interest. It kind of hurts my feelings because she gets excited about other stupid stuff, but not about her sons wedding, or her grandson (first/only one I should add). Sometimes it gets on my last nerve, but then I think about how awesome my family is and how happy I am that I can give that to my sweeties and it helps. lol

I didn't see any negativity. I saw honest advice. You're responsible for your wedding and no one will be as excited about your wedding as you.

I'm so sorry for your situation! I think I understand what your saying - it's not only the financial portion that surprises you (even though it's by no means her responsibility), it's that she has no emotional care or desire to be a part of the wedding. Have you tried to share any wedding details with her - chit chat about decorations - try to get her interested at all? Perhaps she doesn't want to bother you, or thinks your too busy?

Yes, I've asked about the mother/son dance (she had questions about it) and if she'd like a corsage (yes please). My FH said not to expect anything from anyone in his family. Should I expect to give a gift to them then? Is it okay to give a more significant gift to my parents, who are contributing thousands of dollars to our day?