Unhappy bride

Sounds like you’ve already put money down on a venue, however the beauty of the event seem important to you. How would you feel about changing your plans and doing a destination wedding? You may be able to get the beauty you’re looking for and still keep it money friendly.

DeAndre, please don't cancel the wedding. Lots of good advice from PP's...stepping back from the planning for a little bit, cutting down on the attendee list, smaller reception, pushing out the date to save more. Nothing wrong with all of these options. I got engaged in May of this year and we're not getting married until May 2021...we're not in any rush and we want to have the wedding that we want and not stress over it financially just to say we're married (we're also paying for it ourselves). Its ok to take your time. But please don't cancel your wedding...you've already got your dress!!!

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Can you contact the venue and change your date to June 2021 to have more time to save?

You should run away and elope together! It’s your day anyway! Spend your money on the honeymoon

Step back and breath. Me and my FH have been engaged since Dec but since our wedding isnt until next september it helped a lot. I wanted to start planning immediately and i tried to do that. But i would always end up getting stressed out and say i dont want to have a wedding anymore. Then I would pretty much take a little break from planning for a little while. Now that we are pretty much exactly a year away I know it is now the time to crack down. So I just take mini beaks from planning instead of going forever without trying again. Trust me I know its hard. We are paying for everything ourself as well. With that being said we decided on a simple DW and are only having 25 people at the wedding all together. This has helped not only take some of the stress away but has also helped us a lot with the cost as well.

When FH and I got engaged in June 2018, we had a long hard talk about what we could realistically afford and what we wanted. And we came to the conclusion that to get what we wanted we would need a long engagement. We decided that by November 2020 (29 months later) we would be able to save up enough realistically to afford our dream wedding. It really sucks having to wait that long, but we saw no rush since we plan on spending our whole lives together. There are plenty of ways to do a beautiful wedding on a budget along with plenty of brides on here to help you in doing it. I would definitely suggest a break from the planning, its not worth arguing over. Maybe in a week or so, when both of you have had time to really think about it, have a discussion about options. Wedding planning is a true test of what you can go through as a couple and can be really hard. I believe in you.

Think about doing a luncheon (midday) versus late afternoon and you could save a lot. Also weekday versus weekend.

I am so sorry to hear this. Planning is super difficult and weddings are CRAZY expensive--more so than we understand until its time to start planning them. I have a suggestion: do you know anyone who has a large backyard? You could always rent a tent and have an outdoor ceremony that could look beautiful- cover the inside of the tent with lights, decorate it with paper flowers or banners, loads of candles. Maybe if you know a family member that can cook, have them help in catering. All people care about at weddings is food, music and alcohol. You have that, you'll be all set.

My one friend decided to get married in 3 weeks. She found out you can have weddings for free in Central Park as long as the wedding is small and you have ppl stake out the place you want to get married at first. We wound up doing that and then afterwards bar crawling throughout the city. Not your typical wedding but it was fun and different. I def suggest checking out parks in your area- you can have an outdoor ceremony and celebration there and kill two birds with one stone.

Don't cancel your wedding. Push back the date so that you can save up more money. I Just got engaged in June 2019. We decided to get married in 2 years. FH wants a big wedding and I don't. LoL. Who would've thought. Take your time and breathe. You're going to have a beautiful wedding

So sorry to hear this experience has been so stressful for you! I think it’s a common thing though. The initial shock of wedding costs can be really stressful. I went through this also at first. But do not make any rash decisions! There is a solution to every problem! If having the wedding you dreamed of is super important to you, push the date back a year, or however long you need to save the money for it. Only invite those closest to you. Search search search for an affordable venue, caterer, etc. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that contacting TONS of people for price quotes pays off. You can do this girl! And like you said... the most important part is marrying your honey!

I went through the exact same thing. Don’t call it off. Sit down and make a list of things that are important and I mean they will be with you in memories and such. BOTH of you. Then take your guest list and make it smaller include people who you actually talk to and have been around or close relative. Find a more cost friendly venue if that’s an option or do something like a cocktail reception. There are many ways to become more cost effective. Look at what’s most important to have ignore everyone else only what you too want too see and you may be surprised how that list looks.

I heard here in Las Vegas,NV that at the tropicana they are doing free wedding chapel cermonies, so you could look into that, I hope that helps.

I’m sorry you are feeling that way hun!
it can get very stressful more so if you are doing everything yourself, I understand. I would try to come up with an agreement between yourself and your fiancé, and discussed the wedding from scratch and possibly moving the date further so you have more time to plan and more time to pay off vendors. Or even if you both come out with a different solution it’s completely fine, the whole point is for the both of you to meet in the middle and figure something out that makes you both happy!

There are a ton of budget options on Pinterest! We are looking to save money too and I’ve found so many awesome options!

But take a break from planning. And talking about it. A week or two. Talk a lot with your fiancé.

Get a budget and checklist together. This doesn’t have to be a stressful time, try to make things easier on yourself

You could do a small destination wedding for two-a symbolic ceremony and honeymoon all at the same time. Then return and have a casual cocktail party at a small hall or lounge when you’re ready to celebrate. Trust me there are a lot of people going through the same thing! Including me! It’s okay to cut cost and leave out a few bells and whistles. You can always do it big for your one year anniversary to give you time to plan! Remember If you go with a small wedding think about anyone you know who can assist. Is there anyone you know that can decorate, a person designated to photograph, a close friend to DJ etc.

I would definitely suggest something intimate. Even if it means forfeiting your deposit you already put on the venue (and hopefully it wasn't too much that it would cause undue hardship) perhaps going the smaller wedding route would be a lot easier to navigate and enjoy. An elopement or a courthouse wedding. A small intimate ceremony in a park or something of that nature with a nice restaurant dinner or lunch following afterwards. I hope everything works out for you. All is not lost!! This can be done!!

My FH and I are paying for our own wedding and I can't tell you how many times I've thought about canceling it because of costs but I know I would regret it so we are making it work. We have definitely had our moments because weddings are expensive and we want to do it right. We are getting married in February and I have received multiple discounts from vendors because we are getting married in the off-season so that might be something to think about or push it back like others have suggested so you have more time to save. We are using a combination of savings and a loan but we know it'll be worth it in the end! Hang it there! No matter what, always remember the real reason why you are getting married!

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! maybe don't call it off but push it back a little so you can save up money to make sure you can have t the exact way you want it.. I was very stressed in the beginning, don't think I've ever cried so much out of frustration and feeling lost.. But if you talk with your FH and discuss how you are feeling I'm sure you can both come to an agreement, whether it be pushing wedding back a bit or coming up with specific budgets for things.. Even deciding what you guys don't care for too much that can be cut out and what is an absolute want.. Best of luck !!

I’ve been having a ton of anxiety (to a point of over indulging at the shower lol) and my fiancé also thinks it’s about him. The real thing is id rather marry him at an Applebee’s than deal with the money and many opinions of family gatherings sometimes.

If its truly too expensive, cut back. There’s a lot we had to say no to. It sucks but pick the few things that really matter to you and put your funds there. I don’t think you’ll notice all the small things that seem so huge right now. Prioritize what really is gonna make this your dream wedding. Example, If you love flowers but don’t care for desserts. Get those flowers but only do coffee and cookies. You may have to sacrifice a little bit but focus on the end goal.

So sorry to hear this and i can understand not having the help needed it can be very frustrating. Have you thought of decreasing the guest list and possibly pushing it back so you have more time to pay on things.