Unask a bridesmaid

Rather than un-asking, work on the friendship and let her know what you are expecting, maybe she thinks that its so far away that your texts and calls are not urgent as of yet. If un-asking is a friendship deal breaker then what kind of friend is she really?

@helena yes of course! just using that as an example. I've been in a similar situation where a bridesmaid wasn't really responsive until things weee starting to be planned

I have this same issue. I didn't know any better when I asked one of my bridesmaids, which was way to early. I'm just going with it. Although I did try to give her an "out" because I could sense that she was apprehensive. She is known for agreeing to things and backing out. So in my case I felt like treating it like it was her decision was the best way to approach it. She still said she would do it, but tgat remains to be seen! All that's "required" of her is to buy a dress and show up. To me, if she does that, great. If not, no big deal. I'm not depending on her for anything. Whether or not this was all appropriate or not, I goofed so I am owning up to it.

@grace that's crazy! I'm glad she didn't end up in your wedding

It is your wedding. You shouldn't look back at your wedding photos and feel regret. The friendship may be over and will most likely hurt her feelings, it all comes down to you and your choice.

I don't blame you for planning early and wanting to be on top of things. I was also planning 1 year ahead. I do recommend a calm discussion about it. Preferably in person or phone rather than an email and be honest. Don't keep someone around just because they may get hurt feelings. They'll get over it.

I think it is rude to unask.

Do at your own risk.

"Prep reasons"....yes. This is going to be my new phrase!!! Wonder if they learned this from Donald trump. "You're fired. Prep reasons".

I don't think you even need to consider kicking her out. If she doesn't show up that is on her . If you pick dresses send her messages on fb and text and call and tell her where . Make it all your own efforts and if she doesn't show up then you don't even need to worry about it