Unask a bridesmaid

@danielle thats just it she was about to get kicked out but i didnt want it to mess up our friendship so i opened the door for her to come in and tell me how she felt before i just fired her

@Tiffany- geez should of probably checked her resume before hiring an under qualified BM. Thank goodness she took her demotion graciously.

^^^What?

ETA: Questioning Tiffany...

@Tiffany-I hope you gave her a good reference and severance package when you fired her.

Tiffany, you don't "fire" people, omg. The BM is a position of honour for your nearest and dearest. Guess that friendship is gone.

Yes it's rude !!! She doesn't text or call back because she has a LIFE!

You do not fire friends.

Well, at least it's not for "prep reasons."

Or maybe it is.

Smh. Your reasons to kick her out are awful.

@Tiffany that's a new one. Why do you guys think this is ok to do to the people that are supposed to be your nearest and dearest?! They are not your damn glitter slaves!

Your wedding is in January 2018.

If you were messaging me about wedding stuff now non-stop, I'd be selective in my response times, too.

My thoughts are that you're looking for an excuse to kick this bridesmaid out because you're expecting her to be at your beck and call from whenever you asked her to be in your bridal party straight through to the wedding day.

Be a friend first and a bride second in your relationships. Seriously.

@Nonna it's totally for "prep reasons." Whatever that was supposed to mean. Still trying to catch up on that...

Omg im sorry i said fire geez it was a joke We are still friends she is still honored to be a part of my wedding.

Courtney and Lina K are probably besties! They think alike!

NautiBride2018, from another thread about laying off bridal staff

So you want to "fire" her because you want to look at dresses way too early? No...just no.

@courtney if your friendship means something to you just wait til you can talk to her and see where it goes

@Nonna oh no I know where it came from, I'm still confused on what it means lol! I don't think she had come back to that thread yet and I'd like for her to elaborate it seriously fits anywhere when it comes to brides trying to kick people out!

At least she replies even if it's slow. I would have your MOH make a Facebook group with all of bridesmaids when you get closer to the date. That way they can all plan the shower and bachelorette when that time comes. I've been in a wedding where I was asked over a year in advance, there isn't much needed until less than a year before. She may start "participating" more when it gets closer, it's still really early.

@kellyd-you know they don't actually have to plan you anything right?

It's rude to ask someone to step down, that being said, there are certainly exceptions. One of my (former) friends essentially made herself a bridesmaid shortly after I got engaged - yes I was a doormat and agreed because I thought it would improve our friendship. In hind sight, this was a red flag. She later told me that she really stopped caring about our friendship about five years ago and only wanted to be in someone's wedding. She told me "I love weddings, I want to stand up in a wedding" and I told her that was a crappy reason to stick around in my life. I had hoped she would come back and say she wanted to support us on our day and be there... but no. She also told me that she wouldn't bother coming as a guest if she wasn't allowed in the bridal party. ( I understand the reasoning after the fact). I had a long reflection over our friendship and realized that she was right and had't reciprocated anything in our friendship in several years and I was too blind to see it, because I was trying to be a good friend to her. She told me the ball was in my court on if I wanted to continue to allow her to be in the BP - why, I have no idea. I accepted that our friendship (or lack-thereof really) was over or non-existent at that point and took a few days of talking to my mom about the whole situation and getting her advice and then decided it would be best to just let it all go and go our separate ways. My mom told me after I had spoke to the girl that she was glad that I finally realized I was being walked all over and had seen it years ago, but wanted me to make my own decisions. You know what's best for you, but unless this person is doing something to interfere with your well being, you are probably just stuck with your decision unless you are willing to terminate the friendship as well.