Un-Obtrusive Parent Dances

We had suggested to our DJ just not "announcing" the dances (we are planning on doing this with our cake cutting), but he insisted that Aunt Hillary would be mad at him the rest of the night because she missed such an important moment.

Kind of at a loss here.

Any advice or ideas are appreciated!

Maybe dance with your dad at the same time he dances with his mom, and invite others to come up as well... Less attention, but she still gets her dance...

Pezzy thanks for the advice. The issue is she already has the song picked out - it's a country song & TOTALLY unlike my father/I to dance to. It would just look out of place (we'd be more likely to pick a fast song).

Some things we just have to do . You can find an edit of the song so it doesn't last as long

Maybe invite ALL of the mothers and sons that are there to dance together? assuming kids are invited?

and then do the same with father/daughter dance.

If you have cousins and there parents it could be a nice time for everyone to dance as family members

I was also going to suggest shorter edits of the song. Think of the dances as less about you and your FH and more about your parents and their happiness and pride in their babies finding each other.

I don't think having the parents dances will make anything less elegant, I think the best compromise is to stick to a time frame (2 minutes each, perhaps.)

I was going to suggest not announcing it, but yes. Lol. Maybe the DJ could announce it before dinner? "Father/daughter and mother/son dances will be immediately following dinner, so don't run to the bar if you want to watch!" Then he can just start the songs once you finish eating, without another announcement.

Thanks guys. I frequently waffle between "I should suck it up for the parents" and "wah, its my wedding & I'm not even being a brat about anything!" lol.

Nicole that is a GREAT idea - Thank you!!!

Maybe do a combo dance with only half of her song and then switch to half of your/your dad's song. That or start both dances with you just you and the parent then 45s-1m in invite all mother/son and then all father/daughters to join. That will help take the attention off of you.

I don't think it's a bad idea to invite others up to join them partway through their dance, but I would consider discussing it with her first. She may feel hurt and disappointed if it comes as a suprise to her that others will be sharing their moment.

Hey date twin--so many great ideas on here eh?

you are a good daughter and remember, there are those on here who have no parents to dance with

it's going to be fabulous!

You need to realize that no matter what you do you ARE GOING TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. So hon as much as this may not be you, maybe you need to rethink some things because if the wedding was solely just for you then wouldnt you have gotten married just the two of you somewhere private? I agree there are many wedding traditions that are cheesey and need to go out the window.

We hated the idea of the "garter/bouquet" toss. The very act of him tossing a garter that had ever been anywhere near my body really wierded him out and I dont have many single female friends so the bouquet toss was a waste. We changed that and tossed two fancy mad hatter hats to everyone, wishing the lucky recipents as much laughter in their lives as we bring to each other.

We did do the first dance and the cake cutting. And frankly yes the DJ needs to announce those; they are as much for the people celebrating with you as they are for the two of you.

cont.

I am assuming when you say you nixed the idea of the "introduction" you are referring to when the minister says "I present to you Mr & Mrs Newlywed" and if that is the case I really really hope you rethink that; first its a really cool moment you get to hear your new name for the first time and second (and maybe more important) its one of those things that people expect to hear at a wedding and they arent sure its all over until they hear that.

If you are referring to announcing you entering the reception that's up to you but I still might suggest that you be aware that all eyes will be on you when you enter the reception so be prepared for that!

As for the mother/son dance I would say let momma have her moment and if you choose to have your moment with dad do so. You might have the DJ invite all the mother/sons up half way thru the song and the same with Dads/Daughters.

(Oh and be aware that your first dance song will feel ten times as long as it really is)

I would say, suck it up. My father )who doesn't dance) told me that he picked out a song for our first dance and it ended up being very sweet and emotional for him. You don't just get married for yourselves, you do it for them and as a passing ritual. It will be 3 min of a 5 hour affair and then you have to deal with the parents for the rest if your lives. Better to make them happy for a 3 min dance then to hear complaining for years after.

Some good suggestions! I like the idea of including other people to share dances at the same time and not announcing it. My FH and I sound similar to you in the fact that we hate the idea of having a checklist of things to do or all the attention on us as we awkwardly dance together. We are probably just doing a first dance where we dance together for about 30 seconds and then our families will join us on the dance floor to take the pressure off and have it as a "family dance". It's our compromise.

My opinion as a mother, for what it's worth, is that the mother-son dance is very important to his mom. I would let her have her dance with him, to her song, and not edit it to be shorter. As someone else said, it's 3 mins out of a 5-hr party but 3 minutes SHE will never forget . I wouldn't personally risk hurting her feelings by not letting her have those 3 little minutes with her son.... she feels she is "losing him" to you, even if its never said out loud, dear.

I'm not doing the dances to be announced. My sister (we have different fathers same mother) just lost her father who I we extremely close to. She hasn't been the same since his passing, so I can't see my sister be upset and run across her mind that her father won't be there for her wedding. It makes me extremely sad, and I cry on spot always when it's brought up to think my sister would be sad. I explained this to my FMIL, and she was not hurt by any means. She actually understood what I was saying. We'll still dance with our parents, but we're not making a whole announcement about it.