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Just Said Yes October 2021

Two events in one day.. can we skip ceremony?

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Jessica, on April 30, 2021 at 11:11 AM

Okay, hear me out.

Also on 6/26, my fiancé’s cousin is getting married. This cousin is on the side of HIS family that we don’t really ever see as well. They live several hours away and I’ve actually never met this side of his family. However, my fiancé has never met the large side of my family who’s having the reunion on the same day. This wedding is about 2-2.5 hours away from the reunion.
Reunion starts at 12 (in Bardstown KY), wedding is at 4:45, cocktail hour at 6, and reception at 7 (all in Cincinnati OH).
So we’re getting married on 10/23/21 and ALL sides are invited. So we’ll see them all at our wedding, no matter what.
My question is - what do we do? Try and go to both? Split up - me at the reunion and him at the wedding? Skip the ceremony and just do the cocktail hour/reception? Is that super rude to skip the ceremony? If we did both and tried to make the ceremony too, we’d have to leave the reunion no later than 2-2:15 at the very latest. Minus time to get ready (20-30 min cause we’ll have already showered & gotten mostly ready for the reunion anyway). So we’ll only have 1-1.5 hrs at the reunion. And that’s if people show up AT 12, which is unlikely.. they’ll probably trickle in slowly and all be there by 1. So really.. less than an hour with people at the reunion.
What would you do? We have to RSVP to the wedding by May 15th!

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29 Comments

June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 30, 2021 at 9:52 PM
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All of those scenarios that you’re throwing out are completely irrelevant to the situation. It is probably the most uncouth, offensive, inappropriate thing someone can do. You’re under the impression that simply because someone invited you means that you can throw all of your class out the window. For example, if someone invites me to their wedding, that doesn’t give me a free pass to act like a total slob. The whole mentality of ...”well you wanted me there” is embarrassing. I would only hope that people would hold themselves to higher standards. There would be no reception if there was no ceremony. The whole point of the reception is because of the ceremony. it seems like a very selfish mentality to just go somewhere better To miss the most meaningful part of the day but then show up solely for the fact that you hope it’s for your own benefit to introduce your significant other to family. No one should be using someone else’s wedding day as their own personal meet and greet come and go as you please. Not only the bride and groom, but others WILL notice. If you can’t put yourself aside for one day then you should not be attending any weddings in my opinion.
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on April 30, 2021 at 10:31 PM
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Usually reunions happen annually or at least every couple of years. A wedding happens once. Skip the reunion and attend the wedding. A wedding trumps a reunion especially when you’ll basically see all the reunion people in a few months.
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Jessica · on April 30, 2021 at 11:23 PM
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***EDIT - not all of my freaking question posted!!! UGHHHHH Idk what happened.. but the first half literally cut off. So I’m sorry y’all.. thank you for the replies but with the first half missing, I feel like most of these answers would’ve been different lol. We’re just gonna split up I think. Thank you!!!!
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on May 1, 2021 at 12:03 AM
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Where are you getting that it's not?
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on May 1, 2021 at 12:05 AM
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And yet you regularly tell brides to do whatever they want because they're hosting the event? Where is your concern for class and etiquette then?
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Expert March 2023
Catherine · on May 1, 2021 at 12:20 AM
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You only didn’t read anything I said lol. Sorry you’d be upset to be shut out of the reception if you didn’t come to my ceremony. But I did say that if a couple hadn’t contacted me first to explain why, I’d rather they not come at all. My reception WILL be a thank you for guests who came to my ceremony. And unless guests contact me before hand saying they cannot come to both, I do not want them at my reception just for free food. That’s rude.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on May 1, 2021 at 1:08 AM
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LOL, I regularly tell brides to do whatever they want because… It’s their wedding day. Whether I agree with it or not. It’s their wedding day. If people don’t like it guess what they don’t have to go. Simple as that. And everyone’s happy. Not sure why you’re so triggered. To be honest I don’t recall any comments that you post so not too sure why you care so much about mine. IMO, zero manners if you don’t attend a ceremony and then show up for free food and drinks and to focus on the reception being solely for your meet and greet benefits. Sorry, but that’s just my opinion.
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Expert October 2021
Kristen · on May 2, 2021 at 10:53 AM
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I think it’s perfectly fine if you go to the reunion and then go to the wedding reception later. I’ve been to several weddings where, for whatever reason, people I didn’t see at the ceremony would turn up at the reception. Then you’re able to honor both families and both events without playing favorites or splitting up. Good luck!
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