We just got engaged a month ago after dating for 4 years. Everyone in both families are so excited, but also too opinionated! Everyone wants to voice their options on what should be done that day and how things should look. My mom and sister have even voiced their dislikes for some of the decor I want to go with. We were thinking of doing a destination wedding and that just started a huge argument. People were complaining about having to spend too much money. I feel like everyone’s ideas and opinions are heard but mine. Last time I checked it was mine and my fiancé day, but you couldn’t tell that from the way everyone is acting. This whole process has become miserable for me and I feel like it shouldn’t be this stressful. Has anyone else had these problems and how did you deal with it? Also we’re paying for the wedding ourselves now to try to end any drama.
That’s how mine started as well. However it was mostly just our mothers. Starting out I let them persuade me into what pleased them but then the wedding turned into something I didn’t want. The guest list grew to numbers I couldn’t fathom. The intimate, rustic wedding I envisioned was no more. Finally I had enough, cut the guest list, changed the decor and attire and told them I appreciated their opinions and would love their help but needed to be able to plan the wedding of our dreams and not the wedding of their dreams. They understood, I think them seeing how stressed out I was 5 months out helped them be understanding. But don’t let yourself get to that point. Don’t start your marriage out being stressed out. This is about your and your fiancé. Not everyone else. They will understand.
It will be hard to asert yourself, but it is YOUR wedding. You WILL get into fights, people will go weeks without talking to you, it will suck. My FH and mother got into a screaming match over chairs, CHAIRS!!! At the end of the day all that should matter is the fact that you and your fiance are finally getting married. Dont include them in the big things, let them know after decisions have been made.
Time to grow your Bridal Balls as we say here on WW. Who is paying? No pay, no say. Don't discuss your wedding plans with others, especially those who are NOT paying and are known for offering up advice.
Way too many brides have come to WW as they wanted a small non religious ceremony and are talked into a large religious ceremony for 300 people!
My first wedding I was steamrolled into a few things, this time it was what me and hubby wanted. No regrets!
You and your FS's decision to pay for your wedding will certainly make it easier to weed out negative opinions. If you do have a destination wedding, check out these 15 Tips For Planning a Destination Wedding. It has some great ideas on how to accommodate your guests and their concerns.