Trying to plan a wedding and my mom has cancer!

I haven't, but I just want to say I'm so sorry. Your family will be in my thoughts.

I havent but just wanted to say sorry and ill keep her in my thoughts.

I'm sorry your going through this. My dad's had cancer 3 times (predominantly spinal tumors) and it never gets any easier. There were so many times when I'd realise I was feeling happy about something and start feeling guilty and like I was a horrible daughter. But life doesn't wait and your mother wouldn't want you to hold back. Honestly, I always found it incredibly helpful to have some sort of project I could bury myself in when I needed to escape from it all.

Involve her in your planning, make sure she's a part of it so that if she's unable to be there, you can feel her influence in your day. She'll be scared of missing it too and I'm sure it would mean a lot to her to help you.
Good luck with her treatment and I hope she makes a full recovery

I will keep your mother and your family in my prayers. I really hope and pray that she can beat this terrible disease.

View Quoted Comment Thank You! ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank You ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment I definitely involve her in planning and ideas, but on those days after chemo when she's feeling bad I also feel so guilty about being happy about planning my wedding when I know she is going through so much and I know that she's worrying about what her future holds. But Thank You so much for your insight! I appreciate it a lot! ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank You!! ❤️❤️

This is terrible and I’m so sorry. My grandpa (who is walking me down the aisle) was declared cancer free not too long ago. I understand your concerns of feeling bad about your excitement, but I wouldn’t let it ruin the time you have with her or let you change your mood with her. She’s probably so excited for you and excited to be a part of this process. I think by keeping her involved you’re both able to get therapeutic relief from the cancer and just have a good time planning.

I haven't dealt with this myself, I just wanted to say I am SO sorry for your situation, and I pray that your mom has a speedy recovery!

As for planning the ceremony, I think she'd be upset if you put everything on hold just for her. For most parents, seeing their children grow and thrive is the ultimate blessing in life, and this is such a big step in your life and such a happy occasion, I'm sure it's helping her deal with her situation!

View Quoted Comment Thank You!! ❤️❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank You! ❤️❤️

My mom was undergoing chemo during the wedding process for me as well. It’s definitely hard but it gave my mom something to look forward too and helped keep her spirits up, which is super important. What helped her was constant communication with her oncologist, and she was able to take a break feom treatment several weeks before the wedding so she’d be feeling good.

View Quoted Comment I think that's natural. No matter how many people here tell you not to feel bad and that you're doing the right thing, there will still be days when you feel guilty for it and I don't think you can stop that. Just make sure you have a support system in place and that they know what you need (a shoulder to cry on, to talk and vent, to be distracted by other things etc). Figure out what works for you, take time to wallow or work through it and start over when you're ready

I’m praying for strength and peace for you and your family!

I am very sorry for your mom's diagnosis. My FH and I finally set a date ( after almost 20 yrs of dating, 3 yr engagement) I was calling my dad to tell him we set the date and instead was met with a call from the hospital asking me to make end of life decisions. I lost my dad this past January and it kills me he won't be there in october to walk me down the aisle. The closest thing I have is a necklace urn with some of his ashes
My FH offered to postpone the wedding but for me that wouldn't change anything and i think we have waited long enough!! The thing that has gotten me through it was having the wedding planning to distract me from the sadness. My best advice is to consider what is best for you, can you move up your date to make certain your mom can attend ( is she able to at this point?) Is it best to postpone and deal with what your mom is going through? I'll keep you and your family in my prayers and hope it works out that your mom can watch you walk down the aisle on your day and be able to enjoy every moment of it

View Quoted Comment Thank You!! We were talking about the wedding today and she still talks about buying an outfit and helping pay for stuff so it's definitely keeping her mind off of if the cancer! ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment I randomly cry and need a hug and my fiancé is definitely supportive when it comes to that. I have a lot of people around that are supportive of both me and my mom. But you know sometimes my thoughts just eat me up! And it's mostly when my mom isn't feeling well and she isn't her normal happy self that I feel so terrible and allow my anxiety to take over. I just have to keep faith that everything will work ou! ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank You! ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment After chemo is when she is at her absolutely worse, but other than that she is fine! It just scares me because I don't know what the future holds. Financially we aren't able to push the date up. I'm the only child so having a wedding is important to me and my mom because she doesn't have another child to experience being the mother of the bride with. So we are still moving forward with planning for September of next year it just a constant thing in my head about the cancer and how bad it could actually be! But Thank You so much! ❤️❤️