Trying not to take RSVPs personally.

I feel you. I'm having a bridal shower tmrw and we are expecting 6-8 people out of 35. It stings a bit seeing how many family functions I've been to for the others. That being said I'm just going to APPRECIATE those taking the time out of their busy lives to be there and forget about the others for the day. I hope your engagement party is awesome and that those who do come make you feel loved!

I hear ya! Hurt feelings all around....Concentrate on the positive and the people that ARE going to be there!!! That's what I'm doing!!!

Ya know I had a tiny moment like that but I quickly went to it is their loss. BUT also quickly remembered some of my favorite people that got married in my life and how for some of those people I was quick to RSVP and book a whole weekend and pay a lot of money and some people I wasn't quite as speedy or on top of things...and maybe didn't seem as interested but ya know what (at least in my case) it had nothing to do with them...it had entirely to do with other drama in my life or other distractions. I love them all and am glad that if any of them were ever irked that they let it go and love me despite.

I am extremely appreciative of those who are coming, I just can't believe those who couldn't be bothered to RSVP and the one family gave me a bull excuse.

Try to stay positive. Hopefully they won't miss the wedding! I think when you're someone who does a lot for other people, family especially, and when it's your turn and you realize others don't do as much it can hurt and be an eye opener. Just focus on the people who do come and try not to let it get you down.

Remember, your wedding isn't as important to anyone else as it is to you. Also, if you're feeling resentful, scale back how much your attend for your family's functions, if attending doesn't really bring you pleasure.

I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to weddings and all the effort they take, people just don't have a clue.

how could they? even if they've been married things change. what was done in a wedding today isn't even what they did maybe 5 or 10 years ago. certainly not longer

when I was getting my BA, I took a public speaking class. I decided to freak people out and made a wedding dress and gave a speech in it on some of the things you have to consider when looking for a dress. things that affect costs, how long it can take, buying off the rack vs ordering, lots of stuff I just read about because i found it interesting.

should have seen the deer in the headlights look everyone in that class had. they admitted they had no idea all that went into getting a dress! and I had just scratched the surface.

I actually had some girls come after me mad. because after hearing my speech their boyfriends informed them that when they got married they were just going to elope because the whole thing was just too much to take.

wooops??? lol

ironically, I was not a bride wanna be. I figured I'd never get married, I just loved the dresses. found it amusing that anyone was willing to go through the process.

karma???

Yeah! It hurts when you have done so much for others and they didn't show up in your happy moments. At such situations, you really come to know who is your real friend.

Don't bother about them as they are not eligible to be with you on your big day. Just be happy that others are coming be grateful to them for their presence.

I am still far out from RSVPs but this is an area that gives me nightmares because I am the type of person that will totally take it personally. I am the type to sacrifice for the happiness of others. Last year we had two weddings out of state, they were bordering our state and weren't too too far away, but still. We had to get out early on Friday, book a hotel, get nice attire, have money set aside for breakfast, each wedding we put in the card $150.00. The weddings were very nice, but it was a sacrifice (between the gift, the hotel room, the gas money to drive over 50 miles, we were a little broke for a couple of weeks) we made for the couple (whom we loved) on their once-in-a-lifetime day. I don't regret going to those weddings, they were extremely nice - just saying some people aren't as passionate or caring I guess.

Well--I just found out that a family I love dearly will likely not be coming to my wedding. It kind of makes me want to cry because I wanted so much for them to be there, but it is what it is. I can't make someone be able to (or want to) attend. Sorry you're experiencing some of the same.

Better than the engagement party than the wedding. . . I personally hate the concept of an engagement party, and would decline any invite unless it was immediate family (i.e., sibling). Try not to hold their decline against them.

I wouldn't take too much stock into the engagement party and shower - and even the wedding. People have things going on in their lives, and (as someone said), your wedding is more important to you than it is to others.

Many people couldn't make it to my shower (and didn't even RSVP no) - but I didn't hold that agains them. Those people still came to the wedding. And those who couldn't come to the wedding - well, they're still my friends, too.

I do understand feelings of rejection, but don't write people off if they can't go to something that is important to you. Your emotions are heightened and they probably don't realize that you're hurt.

I wouldn't take it to personally, I know a lot of people who aren't a fan of engagement parties, showers ( the pre-parties to the wedding, they thing its a money/gift grab). Although I'm no where close to the rsvp stage of my planning, who knows I might feel the same way.

But maybe they do have a legit reason for not attending. The only time I've missed a wedding was my cousins wedding a few years back. Him and his now wife were getting married on my grandparents farm, requested no kids, and it was the day before my sons 2nd birthday, if I would've went, I wouldn't have made it back in time for his actual bday.

@StitchingBride! You are hilarious! I would love to give a speech on wedding planning hiccups in a wedding dress, make it comical, wish I had seen yours!

About RSVPs, small partys are better, more intimate, and alot of people dont want to have to buy a gift for the party, so I would have written no gifts on the invites

It's an engagement party, not the wedding. Many people don't even have engagement parties. And with ALL of the pre-wedding parties that happen these days, it can be expensive and time consuming to attend them all.

I think you're overreacting. When I saw this post I thought it would be related to wedding RSVPs. But you're ready to delete people from your life over an engagement party!?

Yupp. We are planning a small, intimate wedding so our guest list is limited to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Being close with them and knowing what is going on in their lives, the excuses are unacceptable IMO. I feel that with the things we have done in the past they could have taken the time to come celebrate our engagement. Engagement parties are very common in our family.

Seriously?

It's just another party. Isn't your wedding day more important? It's not the end of the world. Especially for an engagement party. Suck it up buttercup!

I rather not waste my energry with people who cant be bothred with me after the things i have done for them, especially when it comes to our wedding day.

Even my aunt is angry at my cousin for declining.

@RedHEadBride, but this isn't even her "special day". It's an engagement party. It's not enough for people to wish you the best, happiness and all that good stuff? I have to show up to every function you have to show that I care??? And yes, I can think a few things more important than going to a wedding. I didn't know a invitation was a "you better come or else" type of thing.

@A&J, no offense but you're acting like brat imo. SMH Get over it.