Too late to cancel?

Damn. That's rough. I agree with @jo don't remotely let her get her way. Just let her throw her fit and look like an ass when she DOES come to your wedding. Best of luck to you. Go hit some pillows

OP, you have done well at trying to keep the peace. Good for your FH for standing up for you. I second the bridal balls. You got this OP!

@Kate he isn't my FH's but FH is the only dad he'll probably ever know. (Biological dad left me and never looked back when I was 10 weeks along). She's only freaked out once in person, everything else is over text. She rarely sees my son anymore since I've learned she's obviously unstable. ETA: he's never around her without me and I will not ever be around her again.

All this explaining about her outbursts is giving her to much credit.

It doesn't matter why she's throwing a tantrum.

It's a tantrum. It's what children do. Be annoyed. And move on. Girl you have a wedding to take is care of! Don't invest energy into shit that doesn't matter.

You and your fiancé are being tested here, and honestly it sounds like you're succeeding given that he's standing by you and standing up for you, just as your partner in life should. So first, deep breaths and recognition of the positivity around the most important thing here.

Your FMIL's attitude and behavior probably comes from control issues, and it's her choice to handle it so poorly in a way that will push away her own son and his soon-to-be wife. There is nothing you can do to solve the core of her issues, and entertaining her behavior will only enable her to continue with it. Let her make the mistake of throwing tantrums and being nasty, and let her regret all she'll be losing out on because of her own actions. Just focus on your marriage, on the good you've got going, and you cherish all the people who ARE there to surround you with UNCONDITIONAL love and support. As long as you and your husband-to-be stand together, you're golden. Don't empower her awful behavior by canceling; stay strong, look ahead, and enjoy your beautiful day.

As for the rehearsal dinner...it's not necessary. But if you're sad about it and if it's local enough, I'd consider maybe inviting the wedding party over to your or your parents' house after the rehearsal ceremony and just barbecuing or ordering pizzas or something simple, if you want to have some time all together before the wedding day. Again, these are the people who ARE there to understand and support you, and I'm sure they'll be happy to be there for you regardless of the circumstances. Focus on the love!

Deuces to FMIL, sounds like your day will be better without her. You've made a effort to be patient with her but if she doesn't want to some- do not beg her.

Good riddance. Maybe just order pizzas for your rehearsal dinner instead and just tell your FMIL and FSIL that they will be missed and leave it at that. Sorry you have to deal with that. What a child.

Agreed that you don't need the rehearsal. I'm also on the move forward without them train. Don't let her outbursts ruin your day.

Act like that doesn't even bother you! you need to talk to your FH though or this behavior is liable to continue!

Jeez I thought it was pretty clear. MIL wants to invites FSIL's boyfriends parents which is absurd. I cannot even imagine inviting my FSIL's inlaws unless we were close to them for whatever reason already. I'm sorry you're going through this!

I would not even deal with my FMIL if she acted like this, my FH can deal with that shit....good riddance. Don't let it ruin your day! She is completely out of line and I would just ignore her. She seems like she is looking for a fight over everything.

Geeze, that she sounds like a nightmare. Yuck. I don't know what else to say but I am sorry.

I am sorry. My FH and I are going through the same struggle with my FMIL. It all started because my mom wants to pay for the wedding, my mom and dad have been planning to pay for mine and my sisters wedding our whole lives, and since my dad passed away in December my FH and I want to respect his wishes. But then she is upset because she does not think we are involving her enough in the wedding planning. So one day we invited her to come with my FH and mom to look at the venue, which she fought with my FH the whole time and made the tour very awkward. By the end when my mom was dropping us off at our house she and my FH mom got into a fight and it is like the kraken was released. And my FH sister is also very upset not talking to us and telling us she is not going to the wedding. (there is more to the sisters story but it is to long to get into detail.) So I feel you and it sucks and I am sorry.

I'd throw together a RD if you really want of pizza and beers at your house or parents? Then I'd have an amazing wedding and ask that everyone tags you in photos on social media about how awesome it is, in hopes it reaches the FSIL and FMIL but that's because I'm petty and would want to show this woman we had an amazing time without her.

Have the wedding, drink and be merry, and say good riddance to her. I haven't had problems with my FMIL but I've had issues with a bridesmaid. Such an issue, that we are forgoing a wedding party all together. But I'm not letting that make my day terrible. And this close to your wedding is ridiculous! Do what I do and just get rid of the people like that, and focus on YOUR day.

Skip the rehearsal, have your wedding, don't worry about FMIL. Canceling because of her is giving her way too much control.

I don't want to jump the gun on any of this, but is there a chance she may have a mental disorder of some sort? All of this sporadic and extreme behavior reminds me a lot of my aunt who has bipolar disorder. It isn't an excuse for her poor behavior,but there are resources that you and your FH could utilize to help her, and to help yourselves.

My FMIL is just the same way! Its so annoying. The day we went to pay off our hall my mom, his mom, my moh, bridesmaid, and step dad came with. I had no problem with that. Until my FMIL freaked out because I told her I couldn't afford to buy more flowers as my budget for them was maxed out and she freaked. Then I wanted to have input in OUR centerpieces and she was like why do you want to take control of your centerpieces I was doing them....um its our wedding...we are allowed to take control. She took herself out of the centerpieces and pretty much the whole wedding. She's still coming but that is probably the 10th freak out in the past year. At one point she didn't want to come to my bridal or bachelorette party as it was involving my FH. I wish it would get easier but doesn't look like it

Oh and she also yelled at us when we first started planning to not invite her SIL, FH's aunt as if we did she wouldn't come, a few weeks ago she was like why didn't you invite her...she can't make up her mind if she wants to be pissed or happy.

See this one I don't get. Why does her relationship matter if she's over 18 and not if she isn't ?