To send or not to send invitation?

I would still send them. It lets them know you're thinking of them, and maybe their plans will change 🙂

I would still send the invitations, just so they know they're still invited in case their plans change between now and the RSVP date.

Send them invitations because something may come up so they can attend. It sends the message that you treasure them over people who did not make the cut, and you wish they can attend. If you have guests decline for whatever reason, then you have a smaller guest count.


Having seat filler guests because one group can’t attend is frowned upon in many circles because they know they aren’t your first choice and many would prefer no invite.

I still sent invitations to people I knew couldn't make it (i.e. relatives from Canada who couldn't come due to COVID restrictions at the time). My thought was it still feels good to get the formal invitation as a sign of their importance in your life.

I did what you did on the save the dates for my July wedding. I’m already over on my count so the few people who said they’d be out of the country during my wedding were completely deleted from my list.

There isn’t a seat filler or B list. Asking as to not be redundant in sending invite to someone who clearly said no.

I would still send, as things can change between now and then! It also lets them know that you still want them there, even though they said they couldn't make it.

I had a friend who told me she couldn’t come before I even sent save the dates. I still sent her one as well as an invite. She appreciated it and it made her feel still included.
I think it’s a know your guest type situation. If you think they’ll appreciate still being thought of, go ahead and send one. If you think they’ll be annoyed since they already let you know, then don’t.

I did not send courtesy invites. I think I figured if their hard schedule was already set with 7 months notice, I'd be off their radar anyway. COVID and travel were complicated then. My invites ended up at $12 each, so I didn't do many extras. Instead, I sent my loved ones a holiday card with pics of the wedding and a note saying "thank you for being in our lives".

I would still send it. Plans can change, and a save the date is typically followed by a formal invitations.

I will send invitations to the soft declines.
Thanks everyone. 😁