I’m having issues trying to decide if I should invite my aunt and her kids to my wedding or not. Backstory: She became my aunt when she married my dad’s brother about 17 years ago (I was a flower girl at their wedding). They have two children, both of which are young adults. My uncle passed away from overdose about 10 years ago. After that, I became much closer with them and moved in with them for about a year and a half. It ended very badly - there have been issues of stolen property, we would all fight all the time, and I saw a side of her that just showed me how much of a bad person she is. When I lost 100 lbs, she told everyone in the family that it was due to me doing drugs (which I don’t) and she ruined my relationship with my grandmother. Her children used to badmouth me to my little sisters when they were all in elementary school together. My family is very divided on how they feel about her; half of them hate her and the other half love her (mostly due to the fact that she is the mother of my beloved dead uncle’s children). There was a period of a couple years where I had no contact with her or her children and we ignored each other at family gatherings. However now we all act very cordial with each other at family gatherings, which I do because I don’t want to make waves or cause unnecessary drama. So to the untrained eye, it seems that we all love each other and get along.
I really don’t want to invite any of the three of them to my wedding. My mom doesn’t want me to invite them. My dad thinks I should invite them because they are my late uncle’s family. My grandma, who will likely be giving me a large chunk of money for my wedding, is very very close to the three of them and I know she’d be upset if I didn’t invite them. Family gatherings will be absolute hell going forward if I don’t invite them, which I really don’t want. Also, I plan on having something at the ceremony or reception that honors my late uncle. But I’m still not sure what to do. As much as I completely dislike all of them, and everyone always says that you shouldn’t invite anyone you dislike to your wedding, I feel like this situation is a bit more complicated than that and I honestly don’t know what to do. I hate the idea of having to spend time and money on people I hate at my wedding (there will only be a very small budget), but I also don’t think the fallout of me not inviting them is worth it.
What do you guys think I should do? What would you do?
