To Invite Children or Not

Just say no kids. If there’s a mature 16-year-old etc., and if you want to invite them then that’s fine. They might not even want to go to be honest, but you’re better off having no kids. They hog the dance floor, they generally don’t want to be at weddings, they get fussy during the ceremony, they want to run around and play, all of your precious moments will be ruined by screams and interruptions, then they run around and get hurt, and sometimes you’ll have parents that don’t pay attention to their kids at all and you’ll be on your edge of your seat the whole night making sure the kids don’t kill themselves. Some people on here will see you have to do an 18 cut off. But I say anyone under 16 unless you want those people there

One potential issue of setting a specific age limit is if a family has one or more kids above the age limit, and also one or more kids below the age limit. That would mean you would be excluding some of the kids in that family.


One thing you could do instead is set a "rule" as to whose kids you invite: such as, kids of sisters/brothers/aunts/uncles only, but not kids of cousins/friends/etc. Otherwise, if there's no easy "rule" you can set, I would just not invite kids, just to avoid the risk of guests being upset that kids of other friends were invited, but their kids weren't.

We didn't invite children to our wedding which meant anyone under 18 wasn't invited with the exception of the ring bearer and flower girls. Setting a random age cut off like 13 I would think would be more problematic because you could be setting it up for an older sibling being able to attend, but not allowing a younger sibling. We also let everyone figure out their own babysitting. I'm currently expecting our first child and there is no way I'd want a stranger watching my child especially a stranger someone else hired.

Just no kids. I love kids too and FH has sooo many in his family. Some local some out of state. The parents are responsible for getting a sitter etc. If they disagree or can't make it, they simply RSVP no. Sounds harsh but we're 100% on the no kids. Cut off age for us is 18.

My FH was totally against inviting any kids to start with. Unfortunately, the only kids of any of our guests are his 5 nieces and nephews and there was no way to do that without it being a slap in the face to his sisters. I also want 2 of the girls to be in the ceremony as flower girls. Finally convinced him to allow the nieces and nephews to attend and we are converting the grooms getting ready room into a kid room durring the reception. We are planning to have a babysitter on-site for both ceremony and reception to help minimize disruptions and assist with care.

My brother has six children. They are all married/partnered and have children - one most have three, a couple have four. You can see where this is going. All my family is out of state.
I talked with him about the numbers and he started laughing and said HE doesn’t invite the whole crowd anywhere, he’s not expecting me to pay $90/head for his descendents.
For you though, I would cut it off at 18.

We also invited kids, but we had a LOT less than you do. We did provide a babysitter to assist (as most of the kids were under 4),

With that many kids, a lot of the parents might not bring them from out-of-town.

Your best bet is to say 13 and up (as a broad idea of "half grown"), and provide a sleepover or something for the younger ones, or just cut them out on the basis of numbers.

Kids are an all or nothing thing. If you decide not to invite them, have a cut off of no one under 18. *No* children means you don’t make exceptions for certain people to bring their infants, flower girls/ring bearers, children of the bride and groom, etc while the majority have to find child care. If you do, you will offend people by doing that.

Also, catering companies do have kids meals at a discount so you aren’t serving prime rib to a 5 year old.

But some kids actually do have a great time at weddings contrary to popular belief and enjoy them more than some adults do. Especially those whose families see weddings as social gatherings for the entire family, not adults only. But you decide what works for you.

We’re inviting kids with no weird cutoff ages because we see them as family events. Plus 80% of our guest list we can’t imagine the day without would decline if kids were not invited. The other 20% are leaving kids at home and that’s ok.

We are not having children at our wedding. All guests must be 18+. We will not be providing childcare, and it has not been an issue with anyone.

We said no kids and it was a great decision! I have been to weddings were children are running around screaming, throwing stuff, and taking up so much space on the dance floor, no one else had room to dance. I love kids, but to me, they ruin weddings.

You are not responsible for providing a babysitter unless you really want to. With enough notice, parents can get a sitter or find a family member to keep their child for the night. And most parents will appreciate the break! As far as an age cut off, I would do whatever saves you the most money. Our cut off was 18.

I'd say no kids. That's what I'm doing. Most kids won't eat food anyways. Only kids that I'm having is ring Bearer and flower girl

It's fine to have no kids, or to invite kids in "circles" ie same relationship to you. I wouldn't do an age limit for reasons described above. I would consider making exceptions for nursing infants, as the parent is the source of food. Having said that, you're within your right to say no to that. I personally wouldn't though.

We are having an adults only wedding. Every single one of our guests who are parents were 100% fine with finding someone to babysit and excited to have a kids free date night (even the parents of a newborn were willing to get a sitter; we told them they could absolutely bring their baby and should do whatever they feel most comfortable with). None of our guests with kids have declined due to the fact that their kids are not invited.

Personally I think kids at weddings tend to become the center of attention and whenever I've been at weddings with young kids, parents spend about 70-90% of their time kid-wrangling. Weddings also aren't necessarily the safest environment for young children. We like kids, just don't feel the need to include them as part of our wedding, and since we are hoping to have a baby soon we may have plenty of kid-centric activities in the future and prefer our wedding to be 21+ only.

We never said, "no kids," but almost all of our friends with kids decided not to bring them. A lot of folks (maybe with the exception of family) will opt to leave their kids at home. For example, of the eight kids we invited, four are coming (and two are the flower girls).