To Honeyfund or not to Honeyfund?

@Sara- note that is says the Emily Post Institute, not Emily Post. This is not her advice. I know she would never endorse asking for money. Also, Martha Stewart...really? She is definitely taking money from the wedding industry. Besides, they don't care how tacky you look. No skin off their noses as they laugh to the bank.

Nope nope nope

I have found Honeyfunds to be common, and was shocked to see here on WW that it is considered rude. So if your family and social circle think it's acceptable then go for it!

We are using Zola, we were able to make the fee come out of our end rather than the guests. Good luck, and take everyone's comments with a grain of salt. Not everyone things it's rude!!

I honestly cannot see how registering for your honeymoon is different than registering for china. Can someone please explain the logic? (this is a very sincere request for information.)

Yes, Kiss the Kochs, who cares what your moms think?

I don't think of a as honeyfund as rude but the fee sucks. I don't see how asking for cash is any different than asking for a gift. I'd just make a smaller registry than usual and more people will give you checks and cash.

Why Honeyfund, when you can just post your PayPal address on your invitations. Or better... Set up a GoFundMe? They work the same. Take a percentage of the gifts you recieve as profit. Those companies make a killing off of people for exactly this reason. You don't even get the money until after your trip is over. Why not just gracefully accept cash and checks which you can likely deposit via your cell phone?

Yes, Lauren. I'd rather give you money for your house fund. Or to start your company. Why don't you just ask your guests to pay off your student loans, your car or your Laboutins?

Ridiculous. Honestly,

@Traci- they are so different. Traditional registries are like serving suggestions. They let your guests know what types of items you would like in order to start setting up your home with your spouse. They are not edicts, and no one is forced to buy items from them. If you already have a bunch of household items you can either choose to register for upgrades or not to register at all. Then your gusts will get the hint and give you cash if they wish to give you a gift.

Now here is where we get to HM registries and why they are tacky. HM registries are the equivalent for directly asking your guests for cash, and asking for cash under any circumstance is tacky and rude.

The reason they are equivalent to asking for cash is because that is what you get- you get a check from the company minus all of the fees they screw your gusts over with. You do not show up to your honeymoon location and get a pass to do that dolphin experience, or a spa day, or whatever. You get a check in the mail. If your guests want to give you cash or a check directly, they can and will.

I guess maybe this is just regional but everyone I know just knows how to write a check and put it in a card. Literally no one I know has difficulty doing that. A honeymoon registry doesn't make that any easier because it's already a really, really easy process. You just write the check. So maybe it's regional and people everywhere don't know how to write checks?

Ok, thanks for your input @Massy. I appreciate your time.

My nephew registered with a number of stores, and one was actually a direct hit on the honeymoon resort. I paid no fee, and I didn't realize that they would (?) Anyhow, I was really happy to give him a gift that I know they really wanted/needed. I used it for shower/wedding, both. They had a glorious time that I'm sure they might not have been able to afford otherwise, being young and just starting.

I'm still conflicted about registering at all. The main reason I might is that I know there are actually many who hate giving cash and think that is tacky.

I thought about doing one too and here's why I didn't. I found out that honey fund websites take a portion of the money for profit. Made more sense to me to just cut out the middle man. There will always be people who give money as a gift at the wedding, and we simply encouraged this by keeping our registry small.

@celia... you must have missed the end of my post... MY MOM LOVED IT once she did more research on it and purchased off of it so her view changed

Got almost $2k in our honeyfund! My wedding is in a month! Do it!!

Other PPs answered this. Just say no to Honeyfunds

Ew @Jameena. Why do you think it's cool to solicit money from your guests?

Honeymoons are a luxury. If you cannot afford it yourself, you don't go. Asking someone to fund your vacation is rude. Nothing about a honeyfund will make it less rude. Not cute signs or anything. No no no

KTK.....I did miss that. Honeyfunds still sucks.

-_-

I just love reading the comments.

Have a small registry or none at all. Just don't do a honeyfund. This is a very touchy subject on here so beware for the responses you may get.